Hi, Julie here, and at church last week, our
pastor talked about Nicodemus coming to see Jesus at night, which he claims is
the first recorded episode of Nick at Night. Sorry, just couldn't resist. :)
In that passage, Jesus compares
the wind to the Spirit of God in John 3:8, but first let’s set up the scene.
Most likely it was the Garden of Olives late at night while all the disciples
slept and Jesus was praying. It’s quiet and still until a soft breeze rustles
the olive trees. I can almost see Jesus close his eyes and lift his face to the
cool evening air as he speaks to Nicodemus. “You hear it rustling through the
trees,” He says, “but you have no idea where it comes from or where it’s headed
next. That’s the way it is with everyone ‘born from above.’” — Message
Bible
The Spirit of God—as soft as
a whisper, but more powerful than the wind.
Be it
metaphor, simile, analogy, or symbol, infusing double meaning into our words
helps paint a deeper, more powerful image in our readers’ minds. But … since I
am an emotional writer who writes primarily by feeling, I’m not exactly the
best person to talk nuts and bolts about ways to infuse double impact into your
stories. However, author Winnie Griggs nailed it to the wall in her exceptional
Seeker blog on “Imagery,”
so I won’t reinvent the wheel on that cart. Especially when Winnie’s vehicle is
more of a 16-wheel semi on the subject, so I encourage you to read it.
What I am going to do is try to show you ways
in which I attempt to help my readers “see double” to better flesh out what I’m
trying to convey, even if I have to scramble to add something to the scene, be
it a song title, food, or even a pet. Ready?
1.) USE
SCENE COMPONENTS TO ENHANCE BOTH EMOTIONAL AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS: In A Light in the Window, the hero is painting scenery for the play
along with two little girls he’s befriended, one of whom made him a clover
necklace. The clover necklace is a component that not only helps enhance the
setting—little girls sprawled on the grass in a schoolyard, making clover
jewelry—but I get double usage by correlating it to the hero’s reaction to the
heroine with the highlighted sentence in the scene below:
Expelling a noisy sigh, he rose and turned with a slack of his hip,
prepared to fend off her obvious dislike. “Look, Marcy, I didn’t mean to call
you a—” The words
locked in his throat at her nearness, a mere two feet away while those blue
eyes peered up with genuine warmth instead of her usual cool civility. He
swallowed hard, bewitched by the humility of her gaze, the gentle smile on
those full, pink lips, hair the color of white gold, gleaming in the sun. The scent of rose water and Pear’s soap
captured him, tangling his tongue—and his stomach—into more knots than the
clover necklace Tillie had strung around his neck.
2.) TIE
IN COLOR TO ENHANCE BOTH EMOTIONAL AND SETTING DESCRIPTION. Initially in the scene above, I had the hero painting a sleigh,
but I quickly changed that to a red barn so that I could correlate it with his
embarrassment:
Her eyes connected with his and instantly her face fused as scarlet as the paint on
the brush in his hand, the memory of his stolen kiss the night on her porch
obviously coming to mind.
3.) USE
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONS TO GIVE INSIGHT INTO THE PERSONALITY OF THE CHARACTER AS
WELL. In this
scene from Surprised by Love, I tried
to describe the heroine’s suitor in a way that also hinted at his personality,
making the description do double duty.
He stood staring out the mahogany French doors, one
palm braced to the wall, his charcoal suit coat strained against broad
shoulders. Wisps of dark hair curled up
on his high collar, typical for a man too consumed with obligations to take
time for his barber. She noted the gray French Mossant fedora casually tossed on the cordovan loveseat as if he expected to
stay and was making himself at home, also typical of the man she intended
to show to the door.
4.) USE
PETS TO FLESH OUT BOTH CHARACTER AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS WHILE ADDING HUMOR. In the following two clips from Love at Any Cost, I utilized the family’s pet bulldog to help
flesh out a warmer, cozier family atmosphere while also using him as a humorous
means of depicting the housekeeper’s, Mrs. Rosie O’Brien, intense dislike for
Uncle Logan. A handsome bachelor rogue who broke his sister-in-law Cait’s heart
years ago, Logan now wants Cait back, much to Rosie’s angst and distrust.
With a petite frame that was tiny and trim, Mrs.
Rosie O’Brien wielded power in the McClare household that far exceeded both
height and rank, a fact evidenced by the family’s so-ugly-he’s-cute bulldog,
Logan Junior. Despite Logan’s objections, Rosie had won when she’d suggested
naming the pet for the uncle who’d given it, citing the “creature’s propensity
to intestinal odors” as commonality enough.
***
Reaching
to scrub the bulldog who lay at her feet, Alli winked. “Goodness, with that
scowl on your face, Uncle Logan, it’s hard to tell you and Junior apart.”
“Humph
. . . the dog smells way better,” Rosie said, muttering loud enough
for all to hear.
Logan glared.
Says the hound permanently clamped to my hind quarter.
5.) USE
CHILDREN TO FLESH OUT BOTH CHARACTER AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS WHILE ADDING HUMOR. In A Hope Undaunted, I had a heroine who was a pushy spoiled brat that
I needed to make more likable, so I added an orphan who was much the same way,
which allowed a double benefit in that the orphan helped soften and strengthen
the heroine by simple comparison/contrast. Gabe, the orphan, also helped flesh
out and deepen the scenes with humor and heart such as in the following clip
where the heroine and Gabe are discussing the hero, Cluny (Luke) McGee. PLUS …
extra bonus! I got to include the title of my favorite book … ;)
Why,
half the ladies at the society are loopy over him and most of us kids too. Not
to mention the teachers.”
“The
society?” Katie nibbled on the edge of her cookie.
“Yeah,
the Boston So-ci-e-ty for the Care of Girls. Sounds real snooty, don’t it? But
it’s nothing but an orphanage, although it’s better than most. Lots of gals
just like me who nobody wants. And I can tell ya right now, that every last one
of ’em think Luke is the cat’s meow.” A smug smile tipped Gabe’s mouth as she
reached for another cookie and shimmied back in her chair. “But he likes me the
best, which is why we’re gonna get married someday.” She paused and wheeled the
chair back several inches, wrinkling her nose as she spied Katie’s blush. “Hey,
you ain’t gonna spit again, are ya? Your face is red like you’re gonna puke.”
Katie
narrowed her eyes. The little squirt suddenly reminded her of Cluny McGee. She
nursed her pride with a deep breath of air, then exhaled. “So, why’d you run
away?”
Gabe
gulped her Nehi while eyeing Katie over the rim. “You ever meet Mrs. Merkle?”
Katie
shook her head and finished her cookie.
“Well,
she’s old and whiney and smells like VapoRub.” A faint shiver rippled through
the little girl. “I cain’t stand VapoRub. And the old coot she’s married to who
coughs up spit? Passes wind like it was a fine talent.” She scrunched her nose
as if the smell suddenly permeated the room. “You ever live in crackerbox that
reeks with Vapo and gas? Trust me. It ain’t a feast for the senses, if you know
what I mean.”
Katie did, and slowly gulped her cookie, her appetite
suddenly gone with the wind.
6.) USE CHARACTER NAMES TO FLESH OUT BOTH CHARACTER AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS WHILE ADDING HUMOR. In A Heart Revealed, I gave the heroine’s lovable but nosy neighbor a
name that did double duty—not only did it underscore a landlady who liked to
keep an eye out on her tenants by “peeping” on them, but it also lent humor to
a lovable character despite those peeping tendencies.
“She’s
asleep.”
He spun
around, almost upending the soup. A tiny old woman in a gray nubby sweater that
all but swallowed her up peeked out the door, blue eyes glaring as if she’d
just caught him breaking in.
“Who are
you?” she muttered, opening the door more than a crack to reveal a rolling pin
in her hand.
“Sean O’Connor—Emma’s assistant manager
from the store.”
Her
scowl softened into a smile. “So you’re the one she’s always gabbing about.”
His
mouth tipped up. “That depends—is it good or bad?”
She
grinned, evolving from a pint-sized threat into a huggable grandma. “Good.
Anybody that can bring a little joy to Emma Malloy is okay by me.”
“Couldn’t
agree more.” He lifted the carton. “Think she’d mind if you let me in, Mrs. —”
“Peep,
Elvira Peep, Emma’s landlady and good friend.” Bustling past, she tucked the
rolling pin under her arm and reached into her pocket for a key. She inserted
it into the lock, then paused to look up, eyes pensive. “Emma thinks mighty
highly of you, Sean O’Connor. Claims you’re friends.”
“We are,
Mrs. Peep—good friends.” He bobbled the carton, his fingers suddenly clammy.
“You might say she’s my closest friend and I . . .” Emotion
shifted in his throat. “I love her a lot.”
“Call me
Vi. And you can bet those freckles on that handsome face of yours that she
feels the same.” The blue eyes narrowed, locked on him with uncomfortable
precision. “You know, call me senile, but it seems to me there’s a spark of
something more than just friends.”
He
blinked, her statement cutting off his air. “Pardon me?”
With
barely a sound, she turned the key in the lock, then dismissed his surprise
with a wave of her hand. “Oh, I don’t mean you, of course,” she said with a
shake of her head, “but her. Talks about you a lot, if you ask me. Seems to
respect you, admires you.”
“Well,
like I said, Vi, we’re close friends.”
She
exhaled a burdensome sigh. “I know. And more’s the pity.”
His
breathing thinned as he shifted the box in his hands. “Why’s that?” he asked,
not all that sure he wanted to know.
She
exhaled, eyelids weighted with regret. “Because she’s in love with you, you
know, just doesn’t know it herself.”
He blinked. She may as well slammed him across the
head with that rolling pin—no difference.
7.) USE
FOOD TO FLESH BOTH CHARACTER AND SETTING DESCRIPTIONS WHILE ADDING HUMOR. I always try to use food for double
duty if I can, such as in these two clips from A Heart Revealed, where I included both deviled eggs and beets to
the dinner menu because they not only helped me to more clearly convey a
reaction with a picture, but they add both humor and depth by adding the
specifics of food.
The
deviled egg in Charity’s mouth wedged still, her lips circling the egg to form
a white O of shock. She quickly
chewed and gulped it down. “Are you crazy? You know my brother. He may be the
easygoing one of the lot, but don’t let that fool you. If we even hinted we
wanted to give him a job at the store, the man would disappear faster than
Henry at bath time.”
***
No, I agreed to it two days ago when Mitch asked me.”
Sean winked at Emma, and her cheeks went head to head with the neighbor’s
beets.
8.) USE
TITLES TO FLESH CHARACTER, SETTING, AND THEME DESCRIPTIONS. My indie novel, A Light in the Window allowed me to get
double and triple mileage out of the title, adding more depth to both the story
and the characters. The story is about an Irish Christmas custom of putting a
light in the window from Christmas to Epiphany to symbolize welcoming the Holy
Family, plus it’s the name of the play the heroine is overseeing in the novel.
The fullness of both the custom and the play come full circle when the
heroine’s grandmother brings a spiritual and symbolic twist to the story, not
only deepening it, but helping to shape one of the two heroes whose faith grows
by responding to the “light in the window”—which is the light of Christ in the
heroine’s life.
Mima nodded before her frail hand settled on Marcy’s
arm. "You know, Marceline, our faith in God is very much like that light
in the window that your Christmas play depicts. We are God’s abode, and His
light shines through the windows of our lives into a dark and desperate world.
Many may pass, enjoying the beauty of the light from afar, but few will be
drawn to knock at the door, willing to embrace the Light of the World.” Her
hand rose to gently cup Marcy’s cheek, a tenderness in her eyes that always
warmed Marcy’s soul. “Guard your heart well, Marceline,” she said softly, “for
a man who will respond to the light in the window, for therein lies a gift of
God like no other, except that of His Son.”
9.) USE
SONGS TO FLESH UNDERSCORE A CHARACTER’S EMOTIONS. In Love at Any Cost, the secondary hero and heroine are dancing to a
song hand-picked by me from the top songs for that year because the title
underscored the hero’s thoughts and regrets, adding an extra double punch to
the scene.
He spun
her in his arms, the orchestra’s rendition of Jere Mahoney’s “For Old Time’s
Sake” haunting him as much as he hoped it haunted her. His heart thudded as he
studied her in the soft glow of the chandeliers overhead. The flawless
porcelain skin, the eyes the color of jade, and that lustrous auburn hair piled
high with enough loose strays to tease an alabaster neck, leaving no doubt that
his attraction to her had never waned. Oh, he’d buried it deep when she’d
married his brother, certainly, allowing him to survive the loss of her in his
heart and in his bed, but somehow it surfaced with a vengeance in the last
year, and that alone told him that the timing was right.
She’d
been chattering nonstop while they danced, so out of character for a woman as
content with silence as conversing with family and friends, and he couldn’t
help the faint smile that shadowed his lips. She was obviously nervous—the
song, the dancing, the memories—all too close to home for them both, and her
unease reminded him of the girl he’d proposed to years ago in this very
ballroom. She’d been shy and sweet and oh, so tempting, but innocent to a
fault. A ‘fault’ that resulted in utter shock when he’d dallied with another.
He exhaled slowly, his regret hidden behind an easy smile. Just one more chance, Cait—for old time’s sake?
10.)
CORRELATE A CHARACTER’S ACTIONS
WITH A SPECIFIC BUT SEPARATE ACTIVITY TO SHARPEN THE CHARACTER’S INTENT AND ADD
HUMOR. In this
scene from A Hope Undaunted, the
heroine is trying to get her brother to come to dinner for ulterior motives, so
I used fishing phrases (highlighted below) to equate the humorous tension in
the scene with that of a fisherman trying to outsmart a bass.
He
cocked his head and gritted his teeth with a smile, his decision likely edging
toward “no,” given the apology in his eyes.
Uh-oh, fish
or cut bait. Charity
smiled and switched strategies. “That’s okay, really—I understand.” With a
nonchalant air, she grabbed a spool of purple thread from the sewing box and
gave him a wink. “Just more ribs for us.” She held the thread against the silk
blouse and looked up. “Hey, do these colors match?”
“Ribs?”
Sean said weakly.
Charity
fished in the sewing box again, ignoring his gaze as she fiddled with more
spools. “Yes, sir . . . Mitch’s apple-wood smoked variety, his secret
sauce, candied carrots, my prize popovers, and—” she looked up, her face the
picture of innocence—“potato salad.”
“Potato
salad?” He paused. His voice was the pained whisper of a man used to simpler
fare prepared by a frugal mother victimized by the depression. He swallowed
hard, as if drool were clogging his throat. “Mustard or mayonnaise?”
She
plopped back into her chair and flashed him a bright smile. “Sorry, didn’t
catch that. What was the question again?”
“The
potato salad—is it the mustard kind or the mayonnaise?” It came out as a croak.
Charity
worked the edge of her lip, trying to remember Sean’s favorite. “Uh . . .
mayonnaise, I think.”
The man groaned as if a sharp lure had just pierced
the soft flesh of his lip.
Bingo!
She set the hook and reeled him in. “And, of course, my homemade devilled eggs, those
barbecue butter beans you’re so fond of, and last but not least . . .”
His mouth hung open like a large-mouth bass.
Victory
coursed through her veins with a rush of adrenaline. “Warm peach cobbler in a
pool of caramel sauce with cinnamon ice cream on the side—from Robinson’s no
less,” she breathed, her tone hushed with respect.
“Oh, man . . .”
His voice was a moan of defeat. He blasted out a sigh that could have ruffled
the leaves on the lilac bush at the edge of the porch. “What time again?”
GIVEAWAY:
Okay, since I can't talk about "seeing double" without doubling up on prizes, I am going to choose two winners to win their choice of my books, including my upcoming October release, Surprised by Love. Just leave a comment or an example of how you "doubled" your word power, and you're in the draw! GOOD LUCK!!
JULIE'S BIO:
Award-winning
author of “The Daughters of Boston” and “Winds of Change” series, Julie Lessman
was American Christian Fiction Writers 2009 Debut Author of the Year and voted
#1 Romance Author of the year in Family
Fiction magazine’s 2012 and 2011 Readers Choice Awards. She has also
garnered 17 RWA and other awards and made Booklist’s
2010 Top 10 Inspirational Fiction. Her book A
Light in the Window is an International Digital Awards winner, a 2013
Readers' Crown Award winner, and a 2013 Book Buyers Best Award winner. You can
contact Julie and read excerpts from her books at www.julielessman.com.
