with guest Shannon Taylor Vannatter.
I snapped this cloud shot during our annual road trip to Texas. See how they’re like bricks, stacked on top of each other in layers above the tree line? I thought of this post when I saw them.
For years, I didn’t know what to call my condition. I had the luxury of perfecting my chapters before I sent them to my critique partners, until I signed a contract. Suddenly with deadlines looming, I sent them page upon page of dialogue and character thought with this disclaimer: Sorry guys, this is sooooo first draft. I always add the description, body language, and emotion later. Just let me know if you like the characters and story.
That’s when one of my critters diagnosed me in a life-changing e-mail: You write in layers.
Wow, is that what it’s called? Once I knew, I fully embraced my label. My first drafts are heavy on dialogue with a touch of character thought, light on everything else. Talking heads with no sense of where they are, movement, or emotional reactions. I’ll show you what I mean. Here’s my first draft of an early partial scene from my first Love Inspired title, Reuniting with the Cowboy. True to form, it’s all dialogue with a bit of character thought.
Here’s the setup: the heroine has a veterinarian clinic and animal shelter at her home. With a new neighbor next door, she’s anxious to win them over and hopefully avoid any complaints about her noisy critters. At the end of the first scene, she shows up bearing a dessert, recognizes her new neighbor, and almost drops the dish. This is the beginning of scene two:
Cody grabbed the dish, his hands closing over hers. Ally. On his porch. Skittish as a newborn colt. Who would have thought one kiss would put the wariness in her eyes and cause Ally to spend all that time since avoiding him?
“Cody? You’re my new neighbor?”
“Looks like.”
“I thought you’d be back on the circuit by now.”
“I…um…I decided not to go back to the rodeo.” More like his doctor decided for him.
“Aubrey is home and I needed a place of my own.”
“You bought the place next to me?”
“This was the only land available with enough acreage to start a ranch.” Technically leasing, with an option to buy.
“What happened to Aubrey not being big enough for you?”
“Things change. Does your mom still live with you?”
“She does. Okay, yeah, I still live at home. But it’s the perfect place for my vet practice-slash-shelter and Mom’s my office manager at the clinic.”
“Come on in. And tell me this is a four-layer delight.”
“It is. Mom made it, but I didn’t come to stay.”
This draft has 180 words. Other than Cody grabbing the dish, there’s no movement. Through the entire scene, they stand like statues, both holding the dish. We know they’re on his porch only because of his thoughts. Except for that one movement, everything above is mostly dialogue with a splash of character thought and that’s how my first drafts always look.
Here’s the version that went into print:
Cody grabbed the dish, his hands closing over hers. His breath caught.
Ally. On his porch.
Same old Ally. Long waves the color of a dark bay horse’s coat, usually twined in a thick braid but loose today and spilling over her slender shoulders. Cautious coffee-colored eyes as skittish as a newborn colt.
He’d succumbed to her charms once. It had rearranged his insides and altered everything. Who would have thought one kiss would put the wariness in her eyes, build an uncomfortable wall between them and cause Ally to spend all that time since avoiding him?
All because of his disobedient lips.
“Cody?” Her voice went up an octave. “You’re my new neighbor?”
“Looks like.” And now he’d gone and moved in next door to her. Maybe not the best way to keep his distance. “Let me take this.” He scooped the dish out of her hands.
“I thought you’d be back on the circuit by now.” Her gaze dropped to his shirt collar.
“I…um…I decided not to go back to the rodeo.” More like his doctor decided for him. And that little bubble in his brain had something to say about it, too. “Aubrey is home and I needed a place of my own.”
“You bought the place next to me?”
“This was the only land available with enough acreage to start a ranch.” Technically leasing, with an option to buy. If he decided to have surgery. And lived.
She hugged herself. “What happened to Aubrey not being big enough for you?”
“Things change.” A brain aneurysm changed lots of things. “Does your mom still live with you?”
“She does.” She bit her lip. “Okay, yeah, I still live at home. But it’s the perfect place for my vet practice-slash-shelter and Mom’s my office manager at the clinic.”
“Come on in.” He stepped aside, striving for casual, despite the drumming of his heart. “And tell me this is a pecan chocolate four-layer delight.”
“It is. Mom made it, but I didn’t come to stay.” She glanced toward her place.
I’m not saying this is the second draft, just the final one. Sometimes, I pour over scenes, adding and deleting four or five times.
Now at 341 words, emotional reactions give you a sense of how both characters feel about seeing each other again. We see what Ally looks like from Cody’s perspective. They still stand there holding the dish for a bit as they’re both in shock, but there’s movement as he takes it from her. More detail into his medical condition explains why he’s back, why he’s only leasing, and it ups the stakes. He steps aside to let her in and you find out more about the dessert in case readers aren’t familiar with it. And instead of only saying she doesn’t want to come inside, she shows her reluctance. There’s still not a lot of movement here, but once she gives in and goes inside, they move around more in the rest of the scene.
I’ve met so many writers over the years who haven’t finished a book because they keep going back and trying to perfect the first paragraph, scene, or chapter before they can move on.
Unless my critique partners are going through my work as I write, I complete the entire book before I go back into layer what’s missing. Sometimes my first drafts include clichés, mostly telling instead of showing, and scenes in the wrong point of view. Giving myself permission to write badly propels me forward. I’ve never, ever, ever had any problem with finishing a book.
Every writer is different. Certain techniques work for some and don’t for others. If you struggle with perfection or with finishing your book, try giving yourself permission to write badly, finish that first draft, and layer in the good stuff later.
Question: What writing technique have you discovered that works for you?
Today Shannon is generously giving away 2 copies of Reuniting with the Cowboy. International included. Winners announced in the Weekend Edition.
Can’t wait for the drawing? On sale August 23: Reuniting with the Cowboy
The Cowboy Next Door
A charming cowboy moving in next door shouldn't be bad news. But veterinarian Ally Curtis knows Cody Warren—she'd never forget the boy who left her when she needed him most. Cody is doing everything he can to show his beautiful neighbor he's not the wild bull rider he once was, from helping her find homes for her beloved strays, to protecting her when her business is threatened. But Cody has a secret that keeps him from fully reaching out. Yet as they continue to work together to promote her shelter, he can't keep himself from hoping that Ally might have a home for him…in her heart.
Award winning, central Arkansas author, Shannon Taylor Vannatter is a stay-at-home mom/pastor’s wife. She once climbed a mountain wearing gold wedge-heeled sandals which became known as her hiking boots. Vannatter has twelve published titles and is contracted for three more.
It took Vannatter nine years to get published in the traditional market. She hopes to entertain Christian women and plant seeds in the non-believer’s heart as her characters struggle with real-life issues. Their journeys, from ordinary lives to extraordinary romance through Christ-centered relationships, demonstrate that love doesn’t conquer all, Jesus does.
Learn more about Shannon and her books at Shannon’s Website and check Shannon’s Blog full of real life romance and weekly book giveaways.
Connect with her: Shannon’s Facebook, Shannon’s Goodreads, Shannon’s Pinterest, Shannon’s Twitter, and Shannon’s Amazon Author Page.
Showing posts with label Layering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Layering. Show all posts
Monday, August 22, 2016
Monday, December 14, 2015
Writing in Layers
With Guest Hallee Bridgeman
Last fall, I committed to taking part in a box set of
never-before-released Christmas novellas. All of the box sets which I’d previously been involved
had all incorporated already published books. This one consisted of seven never before published Christmas
novellas. I was buried under other deadlines, and found myself starting the novella just a few weeks
before the deadline. Because I try to give my editor at least two weeks, if not
three, before a deadline, I was totally crunched with time writing this book.
I write full time while my kids are in school. One
Monday morning, I came home from dropping them off at school and started
writing. That Friday at the close of my business day, I had the entire novella written and packaged and
sent off to my editor. It wasn’t
already outlined nor even conceptually sketched, and this isn’t the first time
I’ve been able to write a novella in a week. I just have a process that allows
me to write really fast.
I teach a class on my process, and the amazing
Seekerville ladies asked me to write a blog post about it. So, I’m going to try to explain it
and hope I’m able to make it make sense to you. As I explained what I do and
how I do it, it occurred to me that the way I write is in LAYERS.
I’ve
tried outlining in the traditional sense before, but my mind doesn’t really
work like that. Rather than an orderly “I, II, III, A, B, C,” I have a big
swirling mass scrambling for attention in my mind. When I get ready to write a
book, I usually know the entire gist of the whole story and can see it like a
movie in my head. Major scenes are detailed and everything else is kind of a
black-and-white vague.
LAYER ONE
And that’s
how I start - sitting down with a massive story trying to escape and consuming
my every thought. But I need to make order of that swirling mass, so I start
typing as fast as I can, 110 words-per-minute, and just get out action and
dialog.
She walked into
the room and said this. He said that. She walked out of the room.
I don’t
set the scene. I don’t bog myself down with thoughts and feelings. I don’t much
care about passive sentences or how many times I start a sentence with the word
“she”. I just let the movie play out in my head until I get to the end.
The end result is a bunch of short chapters and all
of the major plot points hit. With a novella of about 30,000 final edited
words, I can do this is about two
full days (10-12 hours) of writing.
LAYER TWO
Once I have all of the action, I go back into the
each scene and set the scene. What originally started as:
Joe rode his
bike to campus.
Now became:
As
he walked, he accessed the audio Bible on his smartphone, plugged the earbuds
into the headphone jack, and secured the phone to his arm with the Velcro
athletic band. The deep voice of a narrator reading the second book of Kings
filled his ears before he strapped on his brightly colored helmet. When he
reached the pavement, he hopped onto his bike and started pedaling, slowly
enough to warm up the muscles in his legs without cramping, but rapidly enough
to make good time.
He
left the scent of the sea behind him as he worked his way into thicker and
thicker traffic. The temperature rose with the sun and sweat poured down his
face. At a stop light, he straddled his bike and pulled a small towel out of
the bag strapped to the center bar, using it to wipe the sweat out of his eyes
while he listened to Jehu war with Jorab.
An
hour later, morning rush hour in full swing, he avoided colliding with a hybrid
car by hopping his bike onto the sidewalk. The woman driving it while talking
on her cell phone never even noticed him. Without breaking pace, he maneuvered
back onto the road and kept going.
Most
mornings, he made it to the University of Southern Alabama’s
campus in an hour and fifteen minutes. He had come to realize that he needed
that daily time spent listening to the Word of God. Interestingly, he could
read a passage then listen to the same passage and hear things he never picked
up reading. As he approached campus, he waited until the current chapter came
to an end then turned off the audio. He locked his bike in the bike rack by the
Student Recreation building and went inside to shower.
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| Photo credit: Crestock/Andriy Solovyov |
LAYER
THREE
This is the hardest part for me. *I* can
see the scene, hear it, taste it, smell it, feel it. I often jokingly
say that the reader should be able to as well, if not by simple osmosis. My
content editor has to come back to me over and over again telling me to add “thoughts and feelings.” To which I often think,
“ugh.” Not the most delicate response an author of romance novels can give, I
know — nevertheless.
So, at this point, I go back through to
every single scene and add thoughts and feelings.
After
locking his bike, he turned and ran into a group of four Cru Students going
into the building. Of course, he recognized Madeline Viscolli. After talking
with her privately the day of the meet and greet the year before, she always
stood out to him in a crowd. No matter how many students he could count in
attendance, one glance through the group and he’d spot her. She hadn’t participated
in the summer program this year. He knew she’d taken classes all summer long.
Partway through the summer it had occurred to him that he kept hopefully
looking for her in the crowd until he consciously forced himself to stop.
This
morning, she wore an olive green shirt belted at the waist with a leather belt
and a pair of blue jeans. With large sunglasses covering her face and her long
black hair pulled into a loose braid that fell over her shoulder, she looked
like a woman about to command an army.
When he
expected to see her, he could usually brace himself and control his reaction to
her presence. The unexpected times, the chance meetings, those actually took
his breath away and made him feel nervous, jittery, and uncharacteristically
shy.
He had seen
a lot of beautiful things in his life. He had experienced sunrises and sunsets
on the horizons of crystal seas that would envelop every sense like a living
symphony of light. He had seen longboats and yachts that had been handcrafted
with the finest attention to the smallest detail soar over the water like sea
breezes. He had seen real beauty in his lifetime. Even so, he had never seen
anything as beautiful as Madeline Viscolli.
Maybe other
men didn’t see her as beautiful. Maybe to them she looked just like
any other girl with dark hair and deep blue eyes. Unlike those other men, Joe
had to struggle not to let her beauty distract him.
Now, at this point, I basically have a fully written
book.
LAYER FOUR
While it may be fully written, it is certainly not
fully edited. At this point, I read it out loud. You use a different part of
your brain when you speak and hear than you do when you read silently. Because
by this point I’ve been over the
same words two or three times, I have to read out loud or my brain will skip
and skim so much. So, I read out loud and find all of the places where I’ve
written a passive sentence that would sound so much better active. Or I hear
where she sat down in a chair but then walked back across the room and sat down
in a chair again. I realize the places where the emotions are stilted and the
conversation doesn’t flow naturally. I hear if I use a single word too many
times or start too many sentences in a row with the same word. I fill in the
holes that have been left and smooth out the rough edges.
This will take me almost as long as the original
writing. Despite how long it takes, I never send a book to my editor
without reading it out loud first. I simply do not. I write too fast that I
need that forced slowing down of reading it out loud to truly examine my story.
My husband likens my layer writing to an artist who
first sketches a drawing in pencil, then fills in a painting one color at a
time until it results in a vibrant masterpiece.
How do you write? Is your method in any way similar to
mine?
The scenes in this article are from my latest release Christmas Star Sapphire — the very book I wrote from beginning to sending it to
my first editor in just five days. I am thrilled to give an autographed copy of
this book away to someone today. {Note from Missy: Let us know in the comments if you want to be entered.} You can also find this book inside the Snowflake sand Mistletoe collection of 7 Christian Romance Christmas novellas
available on Amazon’s Kindle
Unlimited.
Inspired by the Jewel Series
MADELINE VISCOLLI finds herself on the Gulf shores of
Alabama, where she takes part in a graduate program to earn her MBA. On her
first day there, she meets JOE WESTCOTT, team leader for a campus ministry.
Despite a mutual attraction, Joe’s
personal rule of no romance with any student keeps any kind of deep
relationship from developing.
Joe has no desire to have a relationship with anyone,
ever, anyway. He left a life of luxury and his family’s business behind to live alone on a sailboat and serve in
ministry. Then Madeline walks into the auditorium the week school starts and
Joe suspects his personal rules might not apply to this graduate student.
That is, until he discovers Madeline is one of the
Viscollis, and that her destiny lay in running her father’s massive corporation.
Having rejected wealth and all its trappings since childhood, Joe finds himself
falling for the vivacious sapphire-eyed beauty. Madeline knows she loves Joe,
but is not willing to throw away her destiny of taking over at the helm of
Viscolli Enterprises.
A Christmas Eve funeral washes all Joe’s plans away. Will their
love succumb to the rising tide caused by their differences in lifestyles, or
will raging seas calm and allow them to sail off into the sunset?
Hallee Bridgeman is a best-selling Christian author who writes action-packed romantic suspense focusing on realistic characters who face real world problems. Her work has been described as everything from refreshing to heart-stopping exciting and edgy. Hallee loves coffee, campy action movies, and regular date nights with her husband. Above all else, she loves God with all of her heart, soul, mind, and strength; has been redeemed by the blood of Christ; and relies on the presence of the Holy Spirit to guide her.
Labels:
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Layering
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Writing Tips for Writing Fast
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
LAYERING AS YOU GO: INTERNAL DIALOGUE AND CHARACTER VOICE
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In Part One (Clickhere)I
shared how I personally like to layer my manuscript “as I go” — periodically
pausing throughout the writing rather than facing the immensity of a bare bones
manuscript to flesh out after typing “The End.” I highlighted a number points that
layering may involve and, in Part Two (Click
here), we had some fun with revealing
emotion through the use of body language and facial expressions.
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So this month
let’s take a deeper look at another element of layering.
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LAYERING: Internal
Dialogue and Character Voice
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For some of you, internal dialogue and character
voice may not be familiar concepts. If well done, these elements of layering will
have subconsciously drawn you into many of your favorite stories. But they
might not be something you’ve yet truly “recognized” or incorporated into your
own manuscripts. These elements play a major role in what you may have heard
called “Deep Point of View” (aka Deep POV).
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Deep POV can, when applied well, enrich
your story in amazing ways, allowing a reader to glimpse the inner workings of
your character’s mind and strengthening your story emotionally. The elements
we’ll touch on today aren’t rules—they are tools. If overdone or done poorly,
they can defeat their purpose of pulling your reader into the story and
actually jerk them out of it.
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One of the simplest Deep POV layering “tricks” is
to be alert be to the use of phrases such as “he felt,” “he heard,” “he saw,”
“he thought,” “he wondered,” “he realized,” “he knew” and other similar
“telling” phrases. They tend to distance readers rather than draw them in.
As I
mentioned in Part Two of this series, there is nothing WRONG with naming an
emotion. It’s the same with using these “telling” phrases. But vary it. For
example:
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Instead of: He felt hot.
How about: Sweat trickled down the back of his
neck.
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Instead of: He wondered where she was going.
How about: Where was she
going?
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Instead of: He realized she didn’t like what he’d said.
How about: Clearly,
she didn’t like what he’d said.
OR this: A crease formed between her brows as
she contemplated his words.
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Instead of: She heard his horse whinny.
How about: His horse whinnied..
Instead of: She wished he’d look at her with love in his eyes.
How about: Would he ever look at her with love in his eyes?
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Instead of: She noticed he didn’t look happy.
How about: He didn’t look happy.
OR this: His lips curved decidedly downward.
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This is very simple layering/rephrasing that can increase emotional impact.
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Another simple (and fun) layering technique is bringing out in both dialogue and internal dialogue a character’s “voice.” Now, this can be overdone to the point it becomes tiresome or even irritating. So use this technique sparingly. A light seasoning.
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For this technique, you consider the deep point of view of your character—how they would think? An 1800’s Montana cowboy and a modern-day New York interior designer might be watching a sunrise, but isn’t it likely they’d think of it or comment on it in much different ways? In keeping with their experiences and oftentimes their gender?
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In my first published book, “Dreaming of Home,” I could have written the thoughts of ex-Navy corpsman Joe Diaz like this: He watched his son race down the winding dirt path, arms outstretched.
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But I wrote it like this: He watched his son race down the winding dirt path, arms outstretched as he wove from side to side like a fighter jet honing in on an aircraft carrier.
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And in my “Second Chance Courtship” I could have written cowboy hero Trey Kenton’s thoughts like this: But tonight she didn’t look as if she intended to stick around long.
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Instead, I wrote: But tonight her eyes were that of a filly fixin’ to bolt.
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So that you can see how deep point of view can enhance a passage in your manuscript (and understand why I overshoot my publisher’s word count if I wait to layer until the book is done), below is a bare-bones (“talking heads”) example from my first published book, “Dreaming of Home.” Joe Diaz, our hero, has just answered a land-line call from Carmen—the sister of his deceased wife Selena—who is threatening to legally take his child from him. The heroine is across the room with Joe’s little boy...
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“I’d appreciate it if you’d have the courtesy to use my cell number.”
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“Afraid the kid will answer?”
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“Promise me.”
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“Okay, but I’m not going to say anything to upset him. I’m the one who wants what’s best for Davy. I love that kid, remember?”
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That’s what I started with. It’s okay as is. It gets the point across and sometimes that’s all you need, but I wanted readers to get inside Joe’s head, to know how he’s feeling during this call, and for him to think in terms an ex-Navy man might use. Here’s what I ended up with...
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He lowered his voice. “I’d appreciate it if you’d have the courtesy to use my cell number.”
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“Afraid the kid will answer?”
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“Promise me.”
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“Okay, but I’m not going to say anything to upset him. I’m the one who wants what’s best for Davy. I love that kid, remember?”
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Staring out the window, teeth clenched, he remained silent. Love. She might be—of all things—a social worker by vocation, but she didn’t have a clue about love or she wouldn’t keep pursuing this.
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Carmen sighed and he pictured her face so similar to his wife’s, yet character so different. Selena’s nature had been whimsical and uncomplicated and, yes, sometimes maddening. While her sibling donned an equally beguiling demeanor it was surface only. Like a sub lurking beneath glassy seas, her deeper regions housed warheads of single-minded tenacity when it came to getting something she wanted. And what she had her sights on, ever since she learned she couldn’t have children, was Davy.
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So today, see if you can rewrite the examples below to eliminate the “telling” words and (if you’re feeling adventurous), spice up one or two with bit of “voice.” Remember, though, that the latter should be anything but heavy handed as it can get real old real fast. Don’t have your fictional people think/speak out of character--but every thought, every word out of his/her mouth, doesn’t have to be blatantly “colored” to reflect their background/career choice. A little goes a long way.
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If you use analogies in your story, use them clearly, lightly and infrequently. Don’t force your reader to reread your “clever” sentence over and over to make sense of it. Using analogies too frequently—especially convoluted ones which leave your reader going “say what?”--becomes irritating.
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Again, there’s nothing WRONG with a “telling" word, but eliminating many in your manuscript will add impact to your writing. Keep it simple. Don’t try too hard.
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So here we go...!
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She felt upset.
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He thought it looked as if it might rain.
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She noticed he didn’t look well.
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She wondered if she should apologize.
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Have fun!
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Glynna
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Glynna Kaye’s debut book “Dreaming of Home” was a finalist in the ACFW Carol and Maggie awards, as well as a first place winner of the “Booksellers Best” and “Beacon” awards. Her 4 1/2 star “At Home In His Heart” was chosen as a Reviewers Choice finalist by national magazine RT Book Reviews. “Pine Country Cowboy,” her seventh Love Inspired book (and the sixth set in the mountain country of Arizona), is available now—and “High Country Holiday” releases in November!
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No Place Like Home. Abby Diaz longs
to reestablish a relationship with her father, so she heads to Canyon Springs,
her Arizona hometown, with a painful past she can’t share with anyone. But then
she’s needed to care for her young nephew. The little boy takes a shine to a
happy-go-lucky cowboy, a handsome man who’s everything Abby can never have. The
more time she spends with Brett, the more she realizes he’s harboring a
heartache of his own. As she works on repairing family ties with her father,
Abby knows that opening up to Brett is key to forging a new future...together.Wednesday, April 23, 2014
LAYERING AS YOU GO - PART TWO: Revealing Emotion in Body Language & Facial Expression
In Part One (Click here) I shared how I personally like to layer my manuscript “as I go” — periodically pausing throughout the writing rather than facing the immensity of a bare bones manuscript after typing “The End.” I highlighted a number points that layering may involve, including providing body movement and facial expression, authenticating the setting, weaving in internal dialogue and “voice” for deep point of view, etc.
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So this month let’s take a deeper look at one of those points.
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LAYERING: Revealing Emotion in Body Language and Facial Expression
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Very few of us, even when talking on the phone, stand rigidly with our hands at our sides and our facial muscles immobile. This week when you’re at the airport, church, mall or in the grocery store line...pause and take a good look around you. Really observe. You’ll see a variety of expressions and body language that, for the most part, clearly communicate what’s going on in someone’s head.
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Stop and think...what is it about the man who sat down across from you that tells you he just received bad news?
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Or the teen standing in the checkout line at the discount store...what is it about her that clues you in that she wants to be anywhere but with her mom?
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Or the woman holding hands with her grade school twins as they cross the church’s parking lot...what communicates to you that things have not gone well that morning?
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Think about how you would describe their body movement and expressions. Did the man merely sit down in the vinyl chair? Or did he slowly lower himself, shoulders slumped? Did the teen simply stand beside her mother, or did she turn slightly away, eyes downcast, jaw clenched, arms crossed? Did the woman just walk across the parking lot with her children, or were her high heels clicking sharply on the pavement, her eyes focused ahead, the twins scampering to keep up as she marched along?
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On a daily basis we “interpret” so much of what goes on around us based solely on body language and expressions. As writers, we want our readers to be able to “see” emotions, to “read” a character’s mind and not always name, label or explicitly state what is going on internally.
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- She looked angry.
- He felt afraid.
- She didn’t want to go.
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There is nothing inherently wrong with naming an emotion. There are times when it’s necessary and appropriate to do so. Anti-naming “purists” sometimes go crazy with the red pen on things like this when judging contests, but the important lesson here is to not always name the emotion, recognizing that the more you enable the reader to “see” inside a character, the more they will feel and be drawn deeper into the story.
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In Myra Johnson’s “Whisper Goodbye,” she could have said “Mary was afraid to open the slip of paper. But instead she wrote: Fingers trembling, Mary unfolded the slip of paper.
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In Pam Hillman’s “Claiming Mariah,” she could have said “She looked nervously at the angry man.” But instead, she wrote: She moistened her lips, her gaze drawn to the clenched tightness of his jaw.
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In Sandra Leesmith’s “The Price of Victory,” she could said “Ralph was happy to get the money.” But she wrote: Ralph whisked the envelope of cash out of her hands and danced a jig around the van.
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In my “Pine Country Cowboy” I could have said “He looked amused,” but I wrote: He briefly dipped his head in acknowledgment, a smile twitching at his lips.
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So...today please pick one of the situations highlighted below and, in the comments section, see how you can take a bare bones description and briefly layer it with body language and facial expressions--without “naming” the emotion or resorting to dialogue or internal dialogue.
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- A little boy appeared in the doorway. (Let’s make him...afraid.)
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- The little boy appeared in the doorway. (This time he’s...overjoyed.)
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- The woman looked up at the man. (Let’s make her...in love with him!)
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- The woman looked up at the man. (He’s said something that offended her.)
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- The man opened the door. (He’s late for a date.)
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- The man opened the door. (He doesn’t want to go where he’s having to go.)
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So, please pick a few of these “prompts” and have some fun today!
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Next month we’ll take a closer look at another element of layering.
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Glynna
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Glynna Kaye’s debut book “Dreaming of Home” was a finalist in the ACFW Carol and Maggie awards, as well as a first place winner of the “Booksellers Best” and “Beacon” awards. Her 4 1/2 star “At Home In His Heart” was chosen as a Reviewers Choice finalist by national magazine RT Book Reviews. “Pine Country Cowboy,” her seventh Love Inspired book (and the sixth set in the mountain country of Arizona), is available now—and “High Country Holiday” releases in November!
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No
Place Like Home. Abby Diaz longs to reestablish a relationship with her father,
so she heads to Canyon Springs, her Arizona hometown, with a painful past she
can’t share with anyone. But then she’s needed to care for her young nephew.
The little boy takes a shine to a happy-go-lucky cowboy, a handsome man who’s
everything Abby can never have. The more time she spends with Brett, the more
she realizes he’s harboring a heartache of his own. As she works on repairing
family ties with her father, Abby knows that opening up to Brett is key to
forging a new future...together.
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