Waking Up and Getting Traction: A Benefit of In-Person Writer Support

Missy Tippens

I recently had a wake up. I’m talking about the kind of wake up where you didn’t even realize you were asleep.

You see, I hadn’t attended a writing conference in about two years. And I had barely attended chapter meetings for my local ACFW and RWA chapters. I’ve been a primary caregiver for some family members during that time and hadn’t felt I could risk signing up for something and then have to cancel. I also haven’t had time free to attend the chapter meetings.

But earlier this year, I took the risk and signed up to attend the Moonlight & Magnolias Conference, a fantastic conference that Georgia Romance Writers puts on each year (I had gone to M&M without fail in the past). I had friends praying that all would go well so I could attend. And, thanks to God, it did!

Lunch with Cara Lynn James and Fran McNabb

While at M&M, I attended many workshops and took lots of notes. I had time to chat with friends new and old. I spent time in the hotel room, writing. I took a nap! I enjoyed dinner with old friends and talked business. And I celebrated Maggie Award victories with fellow writers after the banquet (and okay, this may have also involved some dancing). :)

Dinner with (L to R) Debby Giusti, Connie Gillam, Pam Varnado, Fran McNabb, Cara Lynn James, and Lindi Peterson

One writer I spoke with that weekend was struggling with whether her writing and publishing schedule was interfering with the care of her family. She seemed burdened by guilt. I shared with her how my youngest used to stand at the door beside the babysitter, refusing to wave, sobbing as I left to go to my monthly critique group. I shared how my precious daughter wrote me a pitiful little note in phonetic spelling saying she didn’t like it when I went to “kirtek grup” (translated: critique group) because she was sad when I was gone. :)

Those were tough times when rejections were rolling in and contest scores were crushing my spirit. And I felt like I was taking money and time away from my family. I almost quit several times out of guilt, but God brought encouragements big and small along the way at just the moment I would give up. (One of those big moments: I had decided that it must be time to give up writing, had been crying my eyes out, and a few minutes later I got the call that I was a Maggie finalist).

I shared with my hurting writer friend that when my kids were young, I promised them that if they would let me write for a while each day, I would buy them a new swing set when I sold my first book. I resorted to bribery! (As an aside: please note that by the time I sold that first book my youngest was 11, and her feet would have dragged the ground on a swing set! Instead, they got dinner at The Melting Pot to celebrate. :))

Once I shared all that with my friend, she said she was surprised. She thought I had it all together and that all had been well in my home at the time. I learned some things through that conversation:

1.   You never know what might be going on in someone else’s life! I learned I need to be more open about my struggles. We all need to be honest and real. I think it helped my friend to know that others have and are struggling with some of the same issues. Spending time in-person allowed the opportunity to connect in that way.

2.   Again, you never know what may be going on in someone else’s life. Chances are, the people we run into (writers and otherwise) could be facing trials. Assume the best about others and SHOW GRACE.

Other things I learned at this conference…

3.   I really needed that time away from caregiving. I needed my husband to cover for me for a couple of days so I could focus on the conference and on the writing. You may need time away from caregiving, or child-rearing, or your day job or.... We can all use time away to focus on our writing careers.

4.   Meeting with other writers in person is more important than I thought. I hadn't realized what I had been missing until I got back to a conference. I know we have a wonderful online support here at Seekerville, and I treasure that. But I was reminded how motivating it can be to hang out in a room with a bunch of people who think like I do (translated: a little wacky).

After I got home from the conference, that excitement continued. A few days later, on the way to dinner with my husband, I realized I felt as if I’d come out of a long, hazy sleep. I felt more alert, like my mind was zipping again. I was finally making a little progress on my manuscript, felt like I had traction after so long spinning my wheels.

I know a conference isn’t possible for everyone due to location or finances or family/day job situations. But I encourage you try to find at least one writer to meet with in person. (Come on introverts, you can do this!) Or go to a workshop at your local library. Or see if your church will start a writing group. Anything to put you in touch with other writers. And start saving up to attend a conference sometime in the future. I think it’s worth the investment, not only for networking, but also for reigniting the desire to write.

Giveaway! For a trip down memory lane, I’ll be giving away a copy of my very first published book, Her Unlikely Family, a story (previously titled Michael’s Surrender on the contest circuit) that I wrote while attending my “kirtek grup.” :) (Please note, this will probably have to be an e-book copy or else a used print copy since I don’t have extras any longer.)

Please let me know in the comments if you’d like to be entered. We’d love to hear from you today! What do you think about attending conferences? If you’re not a writer, what inspires you and keeps you motivated for your job or daily life?

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After more than 10 years of pursuing her dream of publication, Missy Tippens, a pastor’s wife and mom of three from near Atlanta, Georgia, made her first sale to Harlequin Love Inspired in 2007. Her books have since been nominated for the Booksellers Best, Holt Medallion, ACFW Carol Award, Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, Maggie Award, Beacon Contest, RT Reviewer’s Choice Award, and the Romance Writers of America RITA^® Award. Visit Missy at www.missytippens.com, https://twitter.com/MissyTippens and http://www.facebook.com/missy.tippens.readers.

Making the Most of Your Conference Experience

with guest Kathleen Y'Barbo 

 Before:
 
1. Make your plans early. 

Often the cost of the conference rises after a certain date. Note that date and secure your spot ahead of time.

The same goes for hotel rooms. If the conference offers a special rate for conferees, grab it early even if you’re not absolutely certain you will be attending. It is much easier to release a room back into the block than it is to scramble around and end up having to stay in another hotel because you waited too long.

Decide as far ahead of time as possible how you will get there. Often groups will gather and caravan to conferences. This is always great fun although not always feasible. If you decide to fly, utilize fare watches to check for the best price. Keep in mind that booking ahead may land you with a nice discount on the fare. 

2. Be prepared. 

Make a packing list at least one week before you depart. Keep your list handy and, if possible, your suitcase open and available. That way you can add your must-brings to the suitcase as you acquire them. Be sure to include chargers for your essential appliances.

Pack for the event and not for the weather. No matter the month, it always seems like hotel conference rooms are chilly. Dress in layers and bring a jacket or light sweater for those frigid classrooms. Talk to others who have been to the conference in prior years to find out what conferees usually wear. Look over photos of previous events to get an idea of what might work best. 

Back in my days as a publicist, I learned the trick of basing my outfit on black tops, trousers, and skirts and accessorizing to change up outfits. By keeping to a neutral palette, all of my clothes work together and I do not have to pack as many items. A bonus is that with black, no one will notice if you got jittery and spilled coffee on your skirt right before you go in to a meeting with an agent or editor.

3. Don’t forget the essentials when packing your conference suitcase:

• A professional-looking portfolio with a legal pad, a pocket for notes or one-sheets, a slot for business cards, and a loop to hold your pen. Even if conferees are given totes or something of that sort upon registration, I find that carrying a portfolio into a meeting makes me feel much more together and prepared. I can easily check before the meeting to be sure I’ve got what I want to present to the editor, and I also have my notes on what I want to discuss. I don’t have to hunt around in a tote for pen, paper or business cards either.

• Plenty of business cards. The last thing you want to do is run out of cards. You’ll be exchanging them with a lot of people, so plan ahead and be sure you’ve got at least several hundred on hand before you leave.

 • Comfortable shoes. Even if you are staying in the same hotel as the conference, it is likely you will be walking quite a distance to get to appointments and workshops. Invest in good quality walking shoes that, if possible, don’t make you look like you’re about to run a marathon. Because I stick to an all black basic wardrobe, I purchased a pair of Born walking shoes that look like office-ready shoes, and I am very glad I did. Save the cute heels for the gala and stick to something that is professional but comfortable. You’ll thank me!

• A water bottle, healthy snacks, etc. Eat healthy, hydrate, and try not to vary much from your usual routine. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so good fuel is essential.

 During:

1. Breathe. Yes, breathe. I’ve seen first time conferees get so wound up that they end up exhausting themselves to the point where they are unable to enjoy the conference. Conferences can be daunting, so any time you feel your stress level rising, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Add a prayer for peace and perhaps a reminder of just Who is in control. Repeat when necessary. It works. I promise.

2. Allow for divine appointments. If you’re so busy running from place to place
trying to make something wonderful happen, you just might miss the
something wonderful that’s happening right under your nose.

3. Know where you’re going. As soon as you’re able after picking up your
conference materials, determine where your workshops and meetings will be
held. Have a plan to get to them and an idea of how long it will take to walk
there. Pay attention to the clock and allow at least ten minutes longer than
you think it will take. If you’re early, great. That’s much better than having to
hurry and risk being late.

4. Smile and introduce yourself to conferees you don’t know. Maybe you’re not
the outgoing type. Well guess what. During this conference, you will be. Some
of my best friends started out as strangers I met at writers conferences. You
never know when your smile might be the one that stranger desperately
needed. If you need an inspiration, think of something fun, maybe something you did as a child that never failed to make you grin. 

5. Consider buying audio files of the conference. Often an entire conference of
workshops can be had for a relatively low price if purchased during the
conference. Imagine having every workshop at your fingertips and at your convenience! It’s a great purchase to consider, especially if you were unable to attend all the workshops that caught your interest.

After:
 
1. Follow up. Gather all those business cards you exchanged and connect with them, either through emails or on social media. Did you promise an agent or editor a proposal or manuscript? Send. It. Not ready to send? Fine, but set a calendar date no more than two months in the future and stick to that date. 

Maybe you went to a workshop you really enjoyed. Odds are that teacher is accessible online. Let him or know not only that you enjoyed the class but why. Pats on the back are few and far between, and they’re so simple to do.

If the conference offers feedback forms, make sure to fill yours out. Without feedback, coordinators cannot continue to improve the services offered to conferees.

2. Send thank you notes. Your mother was right. Saying thank you is not only polite, it is memorable. A simple note, be it an email or an actual card sent via snail mail, is a wonderful way to thank an editor or agent for his or her time or a workshop presenter for what you’ve learned.


Those are a few of my favorite tips. Now tell me some of yours!

Bestselling author Kathleen Y’Barbo is a multiple Carol Award and RITA nominee of over forty novels with more than one million copies of her books in print in the United States and abroad. A tenth-generation Texan and certified family law paralegal, she was recently nominated for a Career Achievement Award as well as a Reader’s Choice Award by Romantic Times magazine.  has four grown children, seven bonus children, and her very own hero in combat boots. Find out more about Kathleen at www.kathleenybarbo.com.

Opposites Attract.

Widowed contractor Logan Burkett knows exactly what troublemaking teens need: discipline. A former rabble-rouser, Logan had his life turned around by firm guidance and hard work. But try telling that to Pippa Gallagher. The softhearted event planner runs a skate park ministry for troubled teens and thinks a place to be themselves is the answer. As he and Pippa work together renovating the space, they seem to disagree about everything. But when disaster strikes, Logan finds himself feeling very protective of the beautiful planner and surprised to discover they share one very special thing in common…love.  

Second Time Around:
Widowers find that love can bloom again…

Two very lucky commenters will win a print copy of Their Unexpected Love. Leave a comment and check back in the Weekend Edition.