Renee Ryan-Layering Part 2

I’m back!!! Today we’re going to talk about the final four steps in one of my favorite writing topics. The Art of Layering, From First Draft to Finished Manuscript.

Like I said yesterday, many writers believe the first draft is where all the creativity takes place, But I believe some of the most creative aspects of putting a novel together also come in the later stages. The third, fourth or even tenth draft. This process is called layering.

We covered steps one through four yesterday, so let’s start with Step Five today.

Step Five: LAYER EMOTION INTO EACH SCENE

Emotion is an important aspect of commercial fiction, especially romance. Your reader wants to “feel” what the characters are feeling. Your reader wants to experience the story first hand. By adding in emotion you can give the reader a stronger, richer experience. Think of it this way. A photograph of a firefighter running out of a burning building with a child in his arms is a powerful, heart-wrenching image on its own. But what if the caption read: Firefighter rescues his own child. Here’s another example:

OKAY:
Beau pressed a white cloth against Jane’s mouth. After the bout of coughing ceased, he pulled back the cloth now filled with the red stain of blood.
Blood from her damaged lungs.
If only she would accept his charity.

BETTER:
Beau pressed a white cloth against Jane’s mouth, afraid each cough wrenching through her fragile body would tear her flesh from the bone. After the bout ceased, he pulled back the cloth now filled with the red stain of blood.
Blood from her damaged lungs.
Beau’s heart pounded with so much anguish for her, for what she’d become, he thought he might choke from it. Jane Goodwin had chosen to earn her money in the most hideous way imaginable. It hurt to see how far she’d fallen.
A shudder racked through him. If only she would accept his charity.

Step Six: LAYER DIALOGUE INTO EACH SCENE

Make sure your dialogue rings true. Does the heroine’s speech sound unique to her? Is that the way a man would talk? Is that the way a man in the nineteenth century would talk? Are your characters talking in fragments? Are they cutting each other off every once and a while?

OKAY:
“The Charity House orphans are--”
“Orphans?” Her eyes went frosty. “You are mistaken. They are not orphans.”
Shane felt his smile slip. “Perhaps they are not orphans in the literal sense. However, they are children who--”
She snorted. She actually snorted at him.
“These children.” He paused to emphasize his point. “These children deserve doctoring.”
She blinked. “Hmph. Tell me about your other patients. You know, the prostitutes.”
Shane held her stare. “I treat them as well. I do not turn anybody away.”
A sound of outrage slipped from her lips. “I will not work with trash.”

BETTER:
“The Charity House orphans are--”
“Orphans?” Her eyes went narrow and frosty, while her lips curled with pitch-perfect disgust. “You use that term loosely, Dr. Bartlett.”
A muscle shifted in his jaw and Shane felt his smile slip. “Perhaps they are not orphans in the literal sense. However, they are children who--”
She snorted. She actually snorted at him. The sound was harsh enough to stop him in mid-sentence.
“These children.” He paused to emphasize his point, but then a dull drumming pounded in his ears and the pattern on the rug at his feet bled into a kaleidoscope of chaotic colors. Shane shook his head and began again. “These children deserve decent medical care like everyone else.”
She blinked. “I will concede your point. However, I am entitled to know about your other patients. What of the mothers still alive, the ones working in the brothels on Market Street?”
Shane held her stare. “I treat them as well. And anyone else in need. I turn none away.”
A sound of outrage slipped from her lips. “Innocent children are one thing, but their mothers are quite another. You did not say in your advertisement that you care for ... for...sinners.”
Her words were like a solid punch to his gut.

Step Seven: LAYER BACKSTORY INTO EACH SCENE VERY CAREFULLY

The best way to avoid backstory dump is to make sure your addressing all of the other elements we’re discussing here. In other words, if you have paragraph after paragraph of narrative you’re probably heading down the wrong path. Look at this way. Your reader is on a need to know basis. ONLY give the reader what is absolutely essential information. Do we really need to know that Aunt Bessie liked to make apple pies and those pies were your heroines very most favorite? Only if it pertains to the scene.

Step Eight: LAYER SEXUAL TENSION INTO EACH SCENE

In a romance, this step ties closely to step five. No matter what level of sensuality you put into your novel, this is an important step in creating a believability factor for the happily-ever-after ending. If you skip this step you in a sexy novel the reader won’t believe the hero and heroine will stick together once the “lust” wears off. Conversely, if you skip this step in a sweet romance the reader won’t believe the hero and heroine are compatible.

OKAY:
Her body reacted with a wave of hot thrill at the sight of the naval officer in his flawless uniform. He looked like a dangerous cat hunting for prey. Was he here to find a woman to bed?
She hoped so.
Look at me, she silently ordered.
He turned and their gazes locked. Giving her a wicked smile, he took one, slow deliberate step toward her.
She took an equally slow, deliberate step toward him.
He took another forward.
And so the hunt began.
But who would win this game? Both, if she had her way. And Aurora always had her way.

BETTER:
In spite of the flawless uniform, a shocking air of wildness resonated out of him and called to her. With his dark, golden hair tied in a queue and harshly chiseled features, he looked like a very beautiful, very dangerous cat hunting for prey.
He surveyed his surroundings with meticulous care, checking faces only. Was he looking for a lost servant? A friend or family member in trouble?
A woman to bed?
Her body reacted with a wave of hot thrill at that last prospect. Meeting such a man on the London Docks, where the familiar rules of society didn’t exist, could be a dangerous adventure. If only she could see his eyes, she would know more about the man’s character.
Look at me, she silently ordered.
As though hearing her call, his head turned in her direction. Their gazes met, locked and held.
His eyes revealed nothing.
Frozen in place, Aurora couldn’t look away, didn’t want to look away. As he continued to hold her in his stare, her stomach clenched and tied into a tight, painful knot.
She’d never met a man so hard to read. His eyes were a fathomless pool of blank emotion, except for a flicker of ... what? What was it she saw in that instant? Need? Hurt? Loneliness?
He gave one, hard blink and the moment was lost.
If she hadn’t seen that small flash of emotion, she might have considered running for home.
Instead, she held her ground.
He took one, slow deliberate step toward her.
She relented, just a bit, with a step back.
He took another forward.
She, another back.
And so the hunt began.

A final note about layering: If you have a scene that doesn’t seem to be working the reason could have something to do with the above steps. Go back through the scene and see if any of the above steps are missing. The more you layer into each scene the richer the story will be.

Renee Ryan-Layering Part 1

Thanks to The Seekers for inviting me back to their blog. I’m just so amazed at all the success these writers have had over the last few years. What an inspiration to us all!

When Mary Connealy asked me to blog we both agreed the topic would require two days, so I’ll be here today and tomorrow. Of course, I’ll also be giving away a few prizes. Leave a comment today and you will get a chance to win a copy of my current release LOVING BELLA, the third book in my Charity House series for Steeple Hill’s Love Inspired Historical line. Leave a comment tomorrow and you will put in a separate drawing for a copy of the book as well. Leave a comment either day and you will be eligible to win the grand prize: a copy of all three books in the Charity House series.
What I’m going to discuss is one of my favorite writing topics. The Art of Layering, From First Draft to Finished Manuscript.

The first draft is what many authors consider the hardest part of writing a novel. The common saying goes something like this: Nothing’s worse than a blank page. Consequently, getting that first draft onto that blank page is nothing more than getting words on paper. After all, words can be fixed. Sentences can be rearranged and/or deleted. That’s what the second draft is for and where layering comes in as well.

Although many believe the first draft is where all the creativity takes place, some of the most creative aspects of putting a novel together can also come in the later stages. The third, fourth or even tenth draft. This process is called layering.

Layering is both an art form and a skill. It is a process that can be learned and honed. What we layer, when we layer, and why we layer all matter.

So let’s begin.

Step One: WRITE THE FIRST DRAFT

This step is obvious. You can’t begin the layering process unless you have a first draft. But please note, I am not telling you one way is better than the other. This first draft can either be a draft of a scene, chapter, section, or the complete novel. Do what works for you.

Step Two: LAYER MOVEMENT INTO EACH SCENE

This step is what I call: NO TALKING HEADS. Your characters must be moving around at all times. They must be doing something. Stationary people do not exist in the real world, nor should they exist in a scene. Try watching a scene of a favorite movie without the sound. Notice how the actors convey emotion with their body language. Here are some written examples.

OKAY:
“Miss Jane, all is not lost.”
She gave him a ragged, quivering sigh.
“You may still survive if you turn from this life forever,” he offered. “We could leave for Colorado Springs this afternoon.”
“No.” A slow, harsh breath wheezed out of her. “It’s too late.”

BETTER:
He lifted a skinny, limp hand into his, closed his fingers over the pale, graying skin. “Miss Jane, all is not lost.”
She gave him a ragged, quivering sigh.
With his own answering sigh, he released her hand and brought a glass of water to her cracked lips. He lifted her shoulders with one hand and helped her navigate the glass with the other. “You may still survive if you turn from this life forever. We could leave for Colorado Springs this afternoon.”
Jane took a slow, choking sip, and then leaned back. “No.” A harsh breath wheezed out of her. “It’s too late.”

Step Three: LAYER THE FIVE SENSES INTO EACH SCENE

Although most of us tend to be visual by nature, we live life in a three-dimensional world. We experience the world around us with all five senses. Smells have a powerful pull over our memory. As do songs. How many times have you heard a song from your childhood and was instantly transported to another time and place. Here are some examples of how to layer in the senses (other than sight)
OKAY:
A burst of wind whipped the doorknob from Rebecca Gundersen’s fingers. The storm was coming in too fast. The town wasn’t prepared. She wasn’t prepared.
Forcing back her panic, Rebecca sprinted down the boarding house steps. She shoved her hair out of her face and cast a quick glance to her left. Dark clouds were moving in, foretelling of a bad storm.
She was not alone on the street, though the thought gave her no comfort. Caught in their own terror, people of all ages and sizes rushed past her, scrambling for cover. Three horses galloped by.
Navigating the labyrinth of activity, Rebecca dashed around the mercantile. She cast another glance to the sky. Time was running out.

BETTER:
A burst of wind whipped the doorknob from Rebecca Gundersen’s fingers. Hail pelted her face, leaving behind a nasty sting. The storm was coming in too fast.
Forcing back her panic, Rebecca sprinted down the boarding house steps and ran straight into the growling wind. There was an oppressive stench of rotting earth and grass, an unmistakable warning that a deadly tornado loomed in the distance.
Rebecca shoved her hair out of her face and cast a quick glance to her left. A shelf of ominous looking clouds cut a sharp line of black against the pale blue sky.
She was not alone on the street, though the thought gave her no comfort. Caught in their own terror, people of all ages and sizes rushed past her, scrambling for cover. Three horses galloped by, their high-pitched whinnies echoing the panic they held in their eyes.
Navigating the labyrinth of activity, Rebecca dashed around the mercantile. She cast another glance to the sky. The rapidly approaching clouds had taken on a sickly, greenish tint.
Step Four: LAYER THE SETTING INTO EACH SCENE

Setting is very important in commercial fiction. After all, our books aren’t just competing with one another they’re competing with the television and movies. Think of this step as an opportunity to transport your character into your story world. An example:

OKAY:
The pink structure was a typical Victorian house, or what some called a Painted Lady.

BETTER:
If houses had gender, this one was surely female. Elegant, whimsical, the two-story building was made of rose-colored stone. The bold lines of the roof were softened by rounded windows and sweeping vines. On closer inspection the house looked a bit neglected, the twisting wisteria covered a few sags and wrinkles that made the building look like a woman refusing to accept her age.


And that’s all we’re going to talk about today. Tune in tomorrow. I’ll present the final four steps in the process.

Welcome Renee Ryan!

I'm so pleased to welcome my longtime Internet friend, Renee Ryan, who I've also now had the pleasure of meeting in person. Renee and I go way back to the AOL contest boards (were any of you ever on there?), so I've gotten to cheer her along the way, starting with contest finals and wins. And now I'm thrilled to be a fellow Love Inspired author with her! Renee has an amazing story, so here she is...

A WRITING DRY SPELL
Renee Ryan

It is a great honor to be a guest here today. Thank you to all the writers at Seekerville for inviting me, and especially Missy Tippens, my fellow Steeple Hill author. I’ll be giving out three autographed copies of my February release, THE MARSHAL TAKES A BRIDE, throughout the day today so stick around and see if we draw your name.

When Missy and I discussed what I would talk about today I immediately thought of my writer’s journey. In some ways, I have one of the best first sale stories I’ve ever heard, but I also have one of the longest dry spells between a first and second sale that I’ve ever heard as well. So, let’s start with the fun part. My first sale, which was back in November 2001.

On a fluke, I entered a manuscript in the inaugural Romantic Times/Dorchester Publishing New Historical Voice Contest. There were over 300 entries so I didn’t think I had a prayer of making the finals. Besides, I was in the midst of a cross country move and didn’t have time to fret over it. Less than a week in my new home, and still living out of boxes, I received a letter that had been forwarded to my new address. The date was from two weeks prior and said that the editors liked my entry but couldn’t make any promises of a sale. If I was still interested in being considered for the contest, could I send the full manuscript for further consideration?

Needless to say, I panicked. The letter was two weeks old. Surely, I was out of time. Nevertheless, I dug out my computer (it was under countless other boxes) and quickly printed out the entire manuscript on a rickety old printer I also had to dig out of yet another box. I over-nighted the full to the New York offices that same day. PHEW!

Less than a week later, the manuscript was named as one of three finalists in the contest. The first fifty pages were posted on the Romantic Times Web site for readers to vote on their favorite. Booksellers made up the other half of the voting pool. I found out I had won the contest at the Romantic Times Convention when the editors from Dorchester Publishing revealed my book cover in full poster size on stage in front of all the conference attendees.

Needless to say, when the poster was uncovered much screaming ensued. I mean, WOW! I thought I’d really made it. I had just sold a book to a New York publishing house in a very public manner. I was going to get national exposure in the RT magazine. I was on my way. Er, right? Nope.

EXTREME MEASURES was my first and last book with Dorchester. I never sold another secular romance. In fact, for five years I couldn’t buy attention for any of my manuscripts, and there were many! No editor was interested. No agent. Nobody. I had hit the big time only to fizzle out as a one-book-wonder. The horrors!

I knew it was time to rethink my career path. I had to stop chasing the all-elusive second sale and decide what I wanted to do with my life. Did I want to keep writing or do something else entirely? I had a son starting his senior year in high school and a daughter starting her first year in middle school. I decided to focus on my family. My children would not be young for long. I knew I would never get that time back.

On a personal level, I began attending intense Bible studies, mostly Beth Moore studies. If you’ve never done a Beth Moore Bible study you don’t know what you’re missing. Her words convicted this shaky Christian to re-evaluate her daily faith walk. I realized that it was time to reconsider what types of books I was writing and why I was writing them. From that point forward, I decided to honor God with all of my efforts. I immediately stopped calling my writing a career and started referring to it as a ministry.

THE MARSHAL TAKES A BRIDE, my February Steeple Hill Love Inspired Historical release, is the first successful result of that change in direction. God has blessed my ministry ever since. I am finishing up my fifth contracted manuscript as I type this. That’s five sales before the first release hit the shelves. Luck? No way. It’s all God! Like Paul says, I boast only in the Lord.

What about you? Have any of you suffered through a long dry spell like mine? Any words of wisdom for the rest of us?

Renee Ryan writes for the Steeple Hill line Love Inspired Historical. Her fabulous editor is Melissa Endlich of Steeple Hill. Her first book in the Charity House series, The Marshall Takes a Bride is a current February 2009 release. Her next book in the series, Hannah’s Beau, hits the shelves July 2009. For further information check out www.reneeryan.com