It's all in the details

A few days after Christmas, my husband and I drove over to Asheville, NC, to tour the Biltmore Estate. Wow! Think Downton Abbey, Carolina-style! The Biltmore became the country home of George Vanderbilt, grandson of the famed industrialist and philanthropist Cornelius Vanderbilt. Construction began in 1889, and the house was opened to family and friends in 1895. In 1898, George married Edith Stuyvesant Dresser, and they raised their only child, Cornelia, there.

Can you imagine a family of three living in a 250-room house? According to the website, “The finished home contains over four acres of floor space, including 35 bedrooms, 43 bathrooms, and 65 fireplaces.” The estate grounds cover more than 8,000 acres!

We weren’t permitted to take photographs inside the house during our tour, but you can click this link if you’re interested in taking a look.

In my photos of the exterior, though, you can’t help but appreciate the intricate details that make the house unique. Every angle and curve, all the adornments and statuary, the turrets, the pitch of the roof—each feature engages the eye and enhances the dramatic style of the house.

By now, you’re wondering what any of this Biltmore trivia has to do with writing. The answer?

It’s all in the details!

Details—specific, focused, and distinctive to our story—are crucial to drawing readers in and making them believe the story world is even more “real” than the room in which they’re sitting.

It’s the difference between “Olivia put supper on the stove” and “Olivia added a pinch of fresh basil to the simmering marinara, her grandmother’s recipe, handed down through six generations of Bellinis.”

Now, obviously, if we went into this depth of description throughout our manuscripts, several things would happen. Number one, we’d soon be way, way over our target word count! Number two, we would bog the reader down in unnecessary information. Number three, if the story ever did make it into print, critics would likely call us to task for writing purple prose.

So the key is to decide which details are most relevant in each scene.

Scenario #1. Your heroine is called to her boss’s office, where he tells her she’s fired. What will she be most aware of in that moment? A chip in her nail polish? The distinguished cut of the boss’s designer suit? The pungent smell of the lemon-scented furniture wax the cleaning staff used on his desk?

The answer? It depends. If she’s in denial, she might focus on the nail polish chip and the manicurist appointment she hasn’t had time to make. If she’s resentful because her snobby, rich boss holds all the power, she might zero in on his expensive suit. If she’s so sick of that lemony smell every time she gets called on the carpet for some minor infraction, she might be more than ready to blow this pop stand and look for work elsewhere.

Scenario #2. Your hero’s dog just got hit by a car and is near death. The hero rushes to the vet, where an attractive tech (your heroine) hurries to help. Is he likely to pay much attention to how great she looks in scrubs, or the beguiling way one errant curl dips across her alabaster forehead? I doubt it. In that moment, he’ll be focused on comforting his beloved pet while pleading for the vet to save him. Yet I’ve read more than a few romance novels in which characters in dire circumstances often seem unrealistically distracted by each other’s appealing qualities.

Historical novelists face another challenge: incorporating the ideal balance of historical detail to set the stage without flaunting every morsel of research they unearthed. It may not matter exactly how your heroine stokes a wood-burning stove as much as the fact that she’s cooking on one—unless she’s never done it before and the hero has to demonstrate.

In my historical novella Settled Hearts, coming in April as part of Barbour’s The Oregon Trail Romance Collection, I knew I couldn’t describe in full detail what it was like for my characters to travel for months over rough country, all their provisions packed into a 4-by-10-foot covered wagon. But I did have to do the research so I knew what they were facing.

Then I salted in the specifics when it mattered most. I listed a few of the supplies they purchased before setting out. I described the biting flies as they traveled along the Platte River. In one scene, the hero has to hitch the oxen to the wagon, so I found a YouTube video showing exactly how it’s done, then sprinkled in the details as the hero interacts with the heroine, standing nearby.

The key to writing effective, evocative description—prose your readers won’t skim to get to the real action—is to make it relevant. Include the details but choose them carefully. Make each detail matter to the viewpoint character in that moment. When you understand what your character would most likely notice and why, it’s just a matter of describing the scene from that character’s perspective.

Remember, it’s all in the details!

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Late-breaking addition!

(can't believe I forgot this!!)

One lucky commenter will win a copy of  
The Heart and Craft of Writing Compelling Description 
by Sharon Lippincott

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Myra and hubby at the Biltmore

Although currently residing in North Carolina, Myra Johnson proudly claims her heritage as a native Texan, and she sorely misses real Texas barbecue! Myra is a two-time ACFW Carol Award finalist, winner of the 2005 RWA Golden Heart, and winner of the 2014 Christian Retailing’s Best Award for historical fiction. Married since 1972, Myra and her husband have two bright, beautiful daughters, two mission-minded sons-in-law, and seven amazing grandchildren. The Johnsons share their home with a couple of very pampered rescue dogs.

Coming in April and now available for pre-order: 

The Oregon Trail Romance Collection

Nine romantic adventures take readers along for a ride on the Oregon Trail where daily challenges force travelers to evaluate the things that are most precious to them—including love. Enjoy the trip through a fascinating part of history through the eyes of remarkably strong characters who stop at famous landmarks along the way. Watch as their faith is strengthened and as love is born despite unique circumstances. Discover where the journey ends for each of nine couples.

Writing like a Photographer: The Key to Descriptive Writing

Janet here. This past September I had the privilege of meeting Emilie Hendryx at ACFW. Emilie wore two hats at the conference: writer and photographer. Not just a photographer but the conference's official photographer. If you were there, perhaps you had your picture taken by Emilie as you received an award or while hanging out at the hotel. I invited Emilie to share tips on writing like a photographer as the key to descriptive writing.

I started my photography business shortly after I photographed my first wedding near the end of 2012. As my business has grown, I've started to see the correlation between photography and writing. You are telling a story either way, it’s just the medium that is different.

I’d like to explore three specific areas to write details like a photographer sees them. For each area, I’ll explain my thought process as a photographer and then how that corresponds to writing.

1. Frame the Shot

As a photographer, my very first step to any session is to assess my location for these things:

I look for the right background.

For a writer this is the setting. Where are your characters? Is the setting conducive to the movement of your scene? What can your setting add to the scene you’re writing (think DPOV here)?

I take the lighting into account.

For a photographer, lighting is crucial. It can make or break the shot. In writing, feelings and emotions are the light. The right placement of internal dialogue about feelings can strengthen an emotional situation.

I take into account my subject(s).

To frame my shot, I will move with my subjects. I give them direction, but I wait for them to naturally “sink” into the pose. As a writer, I need to know my characters. Readers will know if my hero responds in a way that isn't true to his character.

2. Capture movement

A photo is a moment stopped in time. Some of the most powerful images I capture are moments that show movement. Sometimes an almost-kiss is more powerful than an image of the real thing. The same can be said for writing. Show the movement of your characters—not in a way that detracts from the focus of the scene, but in a way that adds to the tension and draws your reader in.

3. Show real emotion

My favorite part of photography is capturing emotions. It’s also one of the most challenging parts. To capture the look of true love on two peoples faces is hard enough without all of the details that go into composing the shot.

A writer deals with a similar challenge. How do we convey genuine emotion by only using words? Often there is a void of genuine feeling in our writing because we are cliché in how we describe a feeling or we don’t accurately capture the emotion, only the idea.

Your reader want’s to be drawn in! Your main character may say that she loves the hero, but your readers will be asking why if you haven’t shown them that she does. When I’m trying to describe a scene I consider these things:

Who is thinking/saying this?

Make sure your descriptions are appropriate to your character and their gender. Taking this into account can strengthen your descriptions and your reader’s connection with your character.

As an example: The hero in one of my books is a carpenter and was describing my heroine’s hair. Instead of him saying it was a dark brown, he said it reminded him of the color of rosewood, his favorite wood.

What’s a common way to say this? How can I say it differently?

What’s another way to describe the setting sun? Maybe the focus isn't on the sun at all, but instead on the descending night sky like chocolate over a scoop of ice cream. Ok, not my best work, but you get the idea. Don’t be afraid to be different, but watch for flow. If you’re describing everything in analogies in every paragraph your reader will hit sensory overload. Time your descriptions appropriately in the context of the larger chapter.

What is the movement? Is it natural?

The movement of your characters in a scene can enhance and draw out emotion between them. Don’t direct every little movement, but guide your readers to show them the scene. Also, make this movement natural. I’ll admit right now that I often act out movements, facial expressions, and scenarios (one of the reasons I hesitate to write in public often, but I digress). If you can’t see what your characters are doing, you won’t be able to write it.

Finally, editing is also something writers and photographers have in common. In processing my images, I see them come to life just as my story gains shape and character when I revise it. Keep these three things in mind as you work on your next draft. Remember to frame your scene, describe movement, and show the emotion.

Janet again. Emilie is giving away a set of 25 flat cards (with envelopes) customized with the winner's favorite verse and the option of photographs that she's taken and will provide. These would be perfect note cards for friends or better yet, thank yous for judges or editors. For a chance to win, share a descriptive line from a book you're read or written that created strong emotion in you. Or if no time for that, pick your favorite of her photos in the post. 

In honor of Emilie's visit today, I'm providing a buffet of delicious donuts, coffeecakes, and muffins, along with coffee, tea and juice. 

Emilie Hendryx is a writer and photographer living in Washington, D.C. She’s a member of ACFW, shamelessly addicted to coffee and books, and can often be found wishing for rain. Find out more about her writing at www.eahendryx.blogspot.com and her photography at www.eacreativephotography.com.

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