Are You an Isolationist?

by Pam Hillman

So, the end of Speedbo is in sight. Some of us met our goals and some of us didn’t. Some of us wonder a bit wildly if we can cram 31 days of writing goals in to 3 days.

We’ve had pep talks, how-tos, craft posts, encouragement, and everything in between this month. As I looked back over the topics at hand, it was hard to come up with something that hasn’t been posted to encourage everyone to try just a bit harder, write a bit longer, and strive to reach their goals every day without fail.

With my own crazy schedule this month, I started writing this post at 3:30 in the morning because I couldn’t sleep. What can I say to encourage someone? What can I tell you that you haven’t heard before?

First, grab a plate off the sideboard. We’re about to fill it up with all our tasks for the month. I’ll start. Here’s what was on my writing plate this month. Turn in a proposal, finish and turn in a novella, and work on a contracted novel. I’m not as far along as I wanted to be, but I haven’t missed any deadlines, so that’s saying something.

What else was on my plate at the beginning of March or was added during the month? Bookkeeping duties for three family businesses, and working as the treasurer for ACFW. Oh, and babysitting my how-can-any-child-be-this-perfect seven-week-old granddaughter as her mom goes back to work. A plum job opportunity fell into my daughter-in-law’s lap the middle of March, and since our sweet baby is too young to go to daycare, full-time babysitting fell to me for now. This bottleneck of stacked tasks will ease up in a few weeks, but I’ll still get to babysit my little darling part time while still keeping up with the bread-and-butter of work related tasks.

In addition, my meal planning has been very intentional for the last few months as my husband and I try to eat healthier. Like most anything else, healthy eating doesn’t just happen, it takes some planning.

And I forgot to mention that ACFW Conference registration opened on March 1st and contests closed for entries on March 15th, and as the treasurer, there’s always work to be done to keep the wheels turning smoothly there.

So far, we have writing, bookkeeping, meal planning, housework, babysitting, and the occasional two-am bovine labor-and-delivery emergency (yes, we were really up at 2 am delivering a baby calf this month) or errands for My Cowboy. My plate’s beginning to look like a platter!

If I look at the whole platter at once, I often wonder how I’ll get it all done...during Speedbo or EVER. Delegation, Dedication, and a Do-or-Die attitude is the answer. Not to mention a lot of prayer. I had to push a small portion of my March goals to the side of the plate. Other things had to be done immediately…the proposal had a hard deadline; the novella a hard deadline; the baby must be fed and changed. And rocked. A lot. That goes without saying! Tax returns on three businesses are due April 15th.

Oh, and if that isn’t enough, DST started this month. I wasn’t worth a plug nickel for THREE WHOLE DAYS after that. :(

And my Seekerville post (the one you're reading right now) was due March 29th. So, I typed the rough draft of this post at 4:30 in the morning because I was awake. Why lay in bed thinking about my post that when I could be up writing it? So up I got.

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes we have to burn the candle at both ends if we want something bad enough. Life isn’t going to stop while we write our novel.

It just isn’t.

Looking at my plate/platter again, I keep thinking (not for the first time) how cool it would be if I was uber organized and could eat a bite of each thing every day, rotating so that I have a nice balanced “meal” of writing 1000 words in the morning, then working an hour on social media, then an hour or two on business, and so on and so on, starting over the next day, keeping all the balls in the air at all times.

But, my days never seem to go that way. Invariably, I get broadsided by fires that have to be put out immediately, or looming deadlines and have to work until the wee hours of the morning to meet them.

Am I just not organized enough? Perhaps. Or perhaps I'm TOO organized, but I fight my own nature because it doesn't fit what's considered normal. Perhaps I work better under pressure, and gobbling one thing at a time on my plate is my work model rather than taking a bite of this, then that, then the other.

What do I mean? As a child, I was notorious for eating one thing at a time. I’d eat all my chicken first, then my bread, then my peas, then I might take a few sips of my tea at the end of the meal. I distinctly remember as a teen forcing myself to eat a bit of everything my plate and to sip on my drink so that my eating habits wouldn’t look so odd to others. Apparently, my parents didn’t think it was odd to eat just one thing at a time. I never remember them trying to correct or change me.

What does that say about me? Am I destined to gobble my favorite task all up before I move on to the next one? Will I never be able to have a balanced, healthy day of doing a little bit of each task so that I feel like I’ve accomplished something in each area that day?

Seriously, folks, I am NOT making this stuff up. As a matter of fact, after I wrote my post, I began to wonder if anyone had done any research on this. Turns out they had. I found an article on the Huffington Post regarding this very phenomenon. I just discovered that I'm an Isolationist, even though I trained myself to eat a bit of everything on my plate, it’s not my nature. Wow, there's a name for that? lol

But get this...

Even more amazing is the description of an Isolationist regarding other areas of their life. It’s like these people used ME as their guinea pig for their research. Fascinating!

The Isolationist

Read the entire article here:

What Your Eating Habits Reveal About Your Personality

Huffington Post, 10/08/15

Also, for a more in-depth look at the different eating habits, read this article.

So, if you’re still with me on this wild and crazy zigzag of a post, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. It’s okay to eat one thing at a time. And when possible, it's okay to finish one task before you go on to the next. There’s nothing wrong with spending days working on taxes/ social media/ cooking/ cleaning/ gardening/ day job, etc., and not even looking at your manuscript. But you still have to carve out big chunks of time to write if you want to get it done. I'm not giving you a license to procrastinate! If you're an isolationist, you might very well go dark for four or five days at a time to do nothing except write, especially if the deadline is looming. :)

Having said that, we know that a novel can’t be written in one sitting (aka meal) before we move on to something else. Apparently my nature is to write in marathon chunks that unfortunately include burning the midnight oil instead of short spurts of 1K every morning, as much as I would love to do that every day. That’s not to say that I can't be more intentional meeting that 1K a day goal. I changed my own eating habits, didn't I? Knowing why and how my brain operates is half the battle.

Are you an isolationist? If so, do you also have a “disciplined and border-line stubborn tendency to complete one task before moving on to another?”

And... we have prizes. When you comment, let me know if you'd like to be included in the drawing for a copy of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. Specify paperback or ebook.

GUEST BLOGGER CARRIE FANCETT PAGELS, Ph.D.: How to Interview Like a Psychologist and Why Back Story is Important (and Giveaway!!)

Okay, everybody, couch time, but not the potato kind. Julie, here, and does anybody else get a wee bit nervous around a psychologist? I mean as a CDQ, I'm so squirrely most of the time that when I find out someone is a psychologist, I kinda squirm, like maybe somebody's gonna cuff me and cart me off to the funny farm, you know? So when I met today's esteemed guest, Dr. Carrie Fancett Pagels, Ph.D., I was totally blown away at how sweet and down to earth she was, completely disarming me with her kind manner and keen intuition. And, without question, Carrie is one of the kindest and most giving humans I have ever met. So I invite you (or your characters) to lay down on the couch and get comfortable to enjoy this "session" with one of my dearest friends and fellow writers, Carrie, Fancett Pagels.

How to Interview Like a Pysychologist: Why Back Story is Important!

 

by Carrie Fancett Pagels, Ph.D.

I write “romantic” historical fiction (while I realize historical romance and historical fiction are two different entities, I manage to blur the two lines—more than “with strong romantic elements.”). But before I wrote, I was a licensed psychologist for 25 years. And a huge part of therapy is figuring out what is behind the present condition. How did this person get to where they are now? I propose that in most genres/subgenres of Christian fiction, it is helpful to interview your characters like a psychologist would. I would make a few exceptions—while thrillers might not need background history to move the story line and enhance the plot, most other genres do. I am also going to use a Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy model in this post.

So some questions you might ask your characters are:

Why are you here?  Add another similar question—how did you get to this point in your life? Tell me about your parents. Your grandparents.

Maybe your characters will blink at you, like a client in therapy might. What does that have to do with what is going on now?  Might not have a whole lot but it could and furthermore, the characters’ reactions to the present situation will be affected by previous experiences.

A Rational Emotive Cognitive Therapy approach.

Our reactions to situations affect our feelings.  If you look at the diagram below, I will give you an example. You will see Event or Trigger written first—so in your writing that would be what is happening in the scene. Previous Experience your characters have had with something similar will affect their emotions.  They might have had a positive, negative or neutral previous result from a similar event in the past.  And what they've experienced previously will impact their emotional response to the current event.

Let’s do an example of three separate characters developed by Julie Lessman:  Charity, Faith, and Emma.  Let’s say they are currently older teens being introduced to a long-lost family member (the Event or Trigger.)    

SPOILER ALERT—don’t read if you haven’t already consumed Julie’s wonderful stories. Given Charity’s history of sexual abuse her filter will be—this is a relative, I was abused by my uncle. Emma, despite having a bad marital history did not report a bad experience with an extended family member—so she may have the filter of—this is a long-lost relative, I’ve had no issues with my relations. Perhaps Faith has had very positive experiences with long-lost family members. She might think—how fun, I get to meet more of the family!

The section of this model is giving voice to how the previous experience may impact the upcoming encounter, i.e., self-talk or belief.  Charity may say, “No way am I about to hang out with some old pervert who I might have to run from.”  Emma might think, “Could be fine to spend some time with this person and ask them about some of the other family members because I don’t see what it could hurt.”  Faith might tell her mother, “I am so excited to meet more of the family—more to love!”   SAME EVENT, remember—DIFFERENT previous experiences and DIFFERING beliefs about what is likely to happen.

 
Some therapists, including myself, believe that the next result is LABELING our emotions based on our experience and by what we tell ourselves (not shown in the diagram below.) In the case I outline above, the characters will all have a different emotional reaction to the SAME experience—with a different label to the emotion that they give the situation. Charity says “Awful, grim—I feel angry and irritated at being asked to join in.” While her sister Faith doesn’t understand and says, “This will be so fun. I’m so happy and excited.” And Emma opines, “I don’t truly care one way or another. I’m fine with an evening together.” For each of these emotions there is a different consequence—Charity may isolate and miss out on meeting a truly kind great-uncle, Faith may experience a disappointment if the present relative is a prickly pear, and Emma may have the consequence of not experiencing the pleasure of anticipation for what turns out to be a lovely family member who is great fun.  Just an example, but I hope you see how our experiences and thoughts affect our feelings and our outcomes. 

If you were looking at a character arc, you’d look at challenging the character’s perception that because of her previous experience that this current encounter will result in similar feelings.  So a therapist might be asking if there is validity in the current belief or are they reacting irrationally, based on previous experience that may not apply to the current situation.  You see this over and over in fiction—a previous bad result, in particular, causing a character to believe something untrue and irrational that has negative consequences for them. Perhaps Charity has believed all men are pond scum and want only one thing—so they are to be manipulated and controlled.

All of this model contributes to POV.  So to get to the POV voice of your character you must know what their previous experiences have been. And the reader needs hints of that to explain why the character feels the way they do. But you as the author have to assist your characters in getting past their irrational beliefs, if they hold any.

If you ever get frustrated with your character because you don’t know why they do something they do try this exercise—sit them in the chair across from you. Visualize them.  Make them comfortable. Offer them a Seekervillian tea and some cake. Then ask them and don’t be afraid. I think we get fearful of requiring our characters to explain themselves. Too much back story we think. Waste of time because it can’t all go on the page. You don’t need it to all go on the page, but I argue that you need to know what drives your characters if you want the storyline and characterization to ring true.

Behavioral Observations by Psychologists:

Why do you do that?  Does your character have an action beat they frequently do?  Find out why.  Usually it is related to some emotional event in their past.  Not always, but frequently.  For instance, the girl who was slapped by her stepmother whenever she displeased her may now, as an adult, press her splayed hand across her cheek when she is embarrassed or has made an error.  And she might, if she realizes why she does the behavior, try to curb the tendency.  So she might shove that hand into a pocket once she realizes she’d been pressing it to her face and recalls the many slaps she received as a youngster.  Make sense?  As a therapist we’re trained to observe every behavior and investigate whether there is a link to something in the past.  The client who tugs at their collar or one whose voice chokes off when they are highly emotional may be someone who has been strangled at some point. Sad but true.

Patrick O’Conner, as we know from reading Julie Lessman’s recent release, A Light in the Window, was quite the lady’s man himself.  So when young men come calling on his daughters, he’s no slouch when it comes to recognizing another rogue like he had been.  And with his background as a rejected and emotionally abused son, he has that hair-trigger temper that simmers beneath the surface and is only controlled by God’s love, especially as manifested through his marital relationship. So anything that threatens that marital love affects his mood in a big way.  So we have the why of Patrick’s periodic curmudgeonly behavior. That doesn’t all get dumped into the story. But the writer needs to know.

Question: Did you learn something in this post that you can apply to your writing?

Giveaway:  Leave a comment and answer the question for a chance to win a lovely gift basket with a  Swarovski crystal heart necklace and earrings set with “Faith” on a silver charm that drops from the necklace, a colonial finger vase from Berkeley Plantation in Charles City, Virginia, a beautiful ornament of the Great House from Shirley Plantation, where Carrie’s last completed manuscript was set and chocolate, of course!

Bio – Carrie Fancett Pagels, Ph.D.:
Carrie Fancett Pagels (www.carriefancettpagels.com) writes “romantic” historical fiction.  She is represented by Joyce Hart of Hartline Literary Agency. She is owner/admin of two group blogs: “Colonial Quills” (http://colonialquills.blogspot.com) and “Overcoming With God” (www.overcomingwithGod.com). She is a contributor to a nonfiction anthology God’s Provision in Tough Times by Cynthia Howerter and La-Tan Murphy, releasing in May 2012

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