Tips for Creating the Push-Pull of Romance

Janet here. Readers expect romance novels to deliver an emotionally satisfying read. They want to see the characters overcome their pasts and the conflicts between them before reaching that emotionally satisfying "Happily ever after" ending. Conflict is story and keeps readers turning pages. Conflict also prevents the hero and heroine from falling in love until the end of the book when they’ve finally resolved the problems between them. Conflict is vital.

Still, we need to make sure these two are attracted in the midst of all the trouble. If we create heroes and heroines who are exactly right for one another, they'll be attracted, but when their goals and wounds are standing in the way, the trouble will push them apart. Readers enjoy the push-pull of our characters struggling to hold each other at arm’s length while their attraction and awareness of each other's good qualities grows.

                                        So how do we make that push-pull strong? 

• We put the hero and heroine in close proximity.

The more the hero and heroine are together, the more opportunities they encounter for conflict and attraction. Marriage of convenience and mail-order bride stories have built-in togetherness. We inspirational authors must find a way to keep them together without violating propriety. I’ve had a hero live in a shed out back; another worked in the same office; two worked across the street from the heroine’s shop. I’ve had a heroine take care of the hero’s sick father. 

• We create unwelcome sexual tension.

Sexual tension comes from the characters awareness of the pull to one another, whether it's physical, spiritual or emotional, but that attraction is unwelcome. If it's not, they'll fall in love immediately and the book is over. The reason the attraction is unwelcome varies with the story and the characters. Perhaps the hero and heroine are after the same thing and fear the attraction might make them ambivalent about fighting for the goal. Or perhaps s/he may want to focus on the goal, not get sidetracked by a pretty face or kind heart. Or the characters' wounds may be too painful to risk their hearts. Whatever the reason, the attraction should make things worse. 

• We use the plot.

The plot and the romance are interconnected. The plot impacts the romance and the romance impacts the plot. When the plot requires the hero and heroine to join forces that forced togetherness will raise the stakes. In suspense novels characters are united in a common cause, often survival. When characters work together, attraction tugs them closer, but then mistrust kicks in, old wounds kick in, and they push back. Use the plot, the action/reaction to vary the characters emotional connection, to keep them off balance and to keep readers wondering how these two will ever be able to fall in love. The push-pull is a "dance" of sorts and fun for readers.  

• We show the stimulus.

Award winning ABA author Virginia Kantra offered this tip in a workshop: Don't describe the emotion, describe the stimulus (what caused the emotion) in a way that recreates that emotion in the reader. To me, this is a huge tip but hard to do. Instead of focusing just on showing the characters reactions to the attraction, consider showing the stimulus in such a detailed, emotional way that the reader will get a knot in her throat or tears in her eyes, not just the character. Details are key. 

•  We show the characters reactions to the attraction. 

If we're not careful the reactions we use can become redundant like overusing smiles, sighs and lumps in the throat. Too much of the same descriptions and readers will want to pull out their hair. Or ours. We all strive to show what our characters are feeling in fresh ways and to avoid "felt" which can mean we're telling as in: He felt angry. 

1. The reaction may be merely in the characters thoughts. Introspection is fun to do, especially when what the characters think is contrary to their actions or dialogue.
2. The reaction may be involuntary physical actions like knotted stomach, dry mouth.
3. The reaction may be voluntary physical actions like a simple touch.
4. The reaction may be through dialogue. It's fun to use light banter to connect characters. Or no dialogue. Silence is powerful. We can use subtext where what the two are talking about isn't what's going on underneath.
5. The reaction may be observed by a secondary character as in "A Wonderful Life" when George's mom says: Mary lights up like a firefly when you enter the room.

• We show the decisions the attraction produces.

The characters are so unnerved by unwanted feelings of attraction that they make plans for what to do to avoid it. If he feels he's bad news for the heroine, let's say, he'll decide to step away for her own good. But she'll see this as proof that she's gotten involved with exactly the wrong man, that he doesn't care when the opposite is true. Then we use something in the plot to tug them back together. We need to motivate all of this push-pull. Not just have them argue over trivial things, then apologize and get closer, then have another argument, apologize again, etc..Conflict isn't arguments, though it can lead to arguments and confrontation. Speaking of confrontation, when the heroine feels the hero is walking away emotionally, she may be relieved. Or near the book's end, she may decide to confront him and force the issue into the open. Timing is important.

Our hero and heroine should take the entire book to fall in love, starting with physical attraction, then quickly moving to respect and on to emotional and spiritual connection. When we've created characters that are exactly right for one another, readers will enjoy the push and pull of the romance, rooting for them as they overcome everything that stood between them to finally reach their happily ever after ending. 

Can you share an example of the push-pull of romance, either from a book you've read or written, or better yet, from your real life romance? If you have another suggestion for how to create the push-pull of romance, please share those.

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I brought a myriad of breakfast entrees that will either tug you to the buffet or if you're afraid of overindulging, may make you run for the exit. But then this is cyber food so no calories are involved. Enjoy the biscuits and sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, Eggs Benedict, Belgium waffles, pancakes with blueberries, grits and bacon served up with juice, coffee and a variety of tea. Grab a plate and let's talk romance.

Janet Dean grew up in a family who cherished the past and had a strong creative streak. Her father recounted fascinating stories, like his father before him. The tales they told instilled in Janet a love of history and the desire to write. Today Janet spins stories for Love Inspired Historical. She is a two-time Golden Heart finalist, a Genesis and a Carol finalist and a member of Romance Writers of America and American Christian Fiction Writers. Her novels are also Golden Quill, Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, Booksellers Best and Inspirational Readers Choice Award finalists. Visit Janet at her Website: www.janetdean.net