Tips for Writing with Emotion

Janet here. Writers all know how important emotion is in our stories. Emotion draws readers in and makes them care about the characters. Once they do, they'll keep reading to find out what happens on their journey. 

The hard part is getting that emotion on the page. Some writers study craft books and posts and attend workshops on writing emotion. Others have torn a well-loved book apart, examining how the writer brought them to tears or laughter. With all these resources available to us, why is writing strong emotion difficult? At least it is for me.  

Perhaps it's because there's no quick and easy way to get it done. To write an emotional story that will elicit emotion in ourselves, in our characters and in our readers takes time and effort. 

To prime the pump and keep the emotion flowing, I need to dig deep into myself, into my story and into my characters.     

• Dig deep into our characters. We have to figure out who the characters are and what makes them tick. To do that, we need to know what has wounded them and what they desperately want and why. Fleshed-out characters, just like real people, come with emotional baggage. That baggage skews their view of themselves, of others and of their world. When we know our characters inside and out, we can take them on an emotional journey that will heal their hurts and allow them to move on with their lives. Sometimes I have to write the first chapter, even the first three chapters, before I figure out who my characters are. Once I know them really well, I may have to go back and rework the opening to make it fit how they would react and why.  

• Dig deep into ourselves. We may not have experienced what our characters have, but most of us have experienced grief, disappointments and hardships and can use the feelings those things brought us when writing our stories. To do this requires being vulnerable and that's scary, even painful. But when we tap into our wounds, our concerns, our relationship with others and with God, all those things that have impacted or hurt us, we can use that emotion when writing our stories. The closer story events come to our real lives, the more uncomfortable the writing may be. I wrote a scene in The Bride Wore Spurs where the heroine's father died. My father had died seven years earlier. Perhaps I hadn't dealt with my grief, but I found myself weeping as I wrote the scene and every time I read or revised it. My editor's comment proved that I'd allowed myself to bleed on the page and the emotion was real.

• Dig deep into our story. We want to write stories that matters. The story should have a takeaway or truth that lingers long after our readers closed the book. When we have a strong passion for our the theme or takeaway, we'll find writing with emotion is easier. Gripping stories with high stakes and characters experiencing universal fears make readers identify with the characters, even become them. If we aren't emotionally involved in our stories, our readers probably won't be either.   

Once the pump is primed, we can utilize craft techniques to help produce emotion. Unless stated otherwise, all excerpts are from The Bounty Hunter's Redemption.  

I believe some writers are intuitive about how to elicit emotion. If you're one of those, you may want to skip to the end of the post. The rest of us may need to study craft for ways to produce emotion in the reader. Telling the emotion is often the first attempt at getting emotion on the page. She felt afraid doesn't create that emotion of fear in the reader. The snake of fear slithered along her spine is a bit more eerie, but still telling the emotion. The character whose head we're in needs to show the fear she's feeling through her thoughts, descriptions, actions and reactions. Other characters may see that emotion in another character and describe it. Vivid, pertinent details are the building blocks of storytelling. Vivid details of the setting and of the characters bring scenes alive and connect readers emotionally to the story.

• Physical Reactions: One of these techniques is describing the characters' physical reactions (things like clenched fists and racing hearts) either through their own eyes or the eyes of another. Overdo these descriptions and we risk annoying the reader. On the flip side, we can have our characters suppress physical reactions, such as refusing to cry. When we know our characters, we know how they'll react in a given situation. We can make physical reactions like laughing and crying feel fresh by adding a few select words as in this excerpt from my novella "A Daddy for Christmas": Miss Mae tried to trap a snicker behind a gloved hand and failed. We can add emotion by embellishing as in this excerpt with Carly describing Anna's physical reactions on the witness stand: Tears brimmed then spilled down Anna’s cheeks, the anguish of reliving that nightmare plain on her face. The room was so quiet Carly could hear each ragged breath Anna took. 

• Descriptions: When a character describes another character, instead of just giving hair and eye color, for instance, use the opportunity to show the character's emotional state, as in this excerpt: A woman stood between Nate Sergeant and a young boy like a petite, beautiful fortress. Pink lips, flushed cheeks, her fair complexion in sharp contrast to her coal-black hair, the delicate female couldn't outweigh a hundred-pound bag of grain. Under slashing brows, dazzling blue eyes met his, sizing him up, her expression wary, alert.

• Introspection/Thoughts: Characters can remember painful or joyful events, have emotionally-charged flashbacks, react emotionally in their thoughts to what's going on around them and make decisions for what action they'll take next. We need to be careful when writing introspection not to tell, saying things like, he felt angry. It's easier to show emotion when we Intersperse action, reaction and introspection. If we overdo the length and frequency of introspection, we'll slow the pace. In this scene from "A Daddy for Christmas" Rafe decides his course of action: 
  As he tramped to the livery in the moonlight, Rafe thought about his daughter, an innocent in all this. Too young to understand what had transpired. But one day she’d grow up, and when she did, she’d wonder why her father hadn’t cared enough to stick around, hadn’t cared enough to risk loving her. 
  For the grownup Josie’s sake, he would take this chance and try to be a good dad to his daughter. Anyone planning to stop him had better move aside. 
     

• Action: Select actions for your characters to take that will elicit emotion in the characters and in readers, as in this excerpt from "A Daddy for Christmas", Rafe has just left an encounter with his father: 
  Rafe forced his fisted hand to turn the knob and stepped outside, softly closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, gulping the cold December air like a drowning man. 
   
  Tense action scenes with high stakes keep emotion running high. This is not the time for lengthy introspection. Instead use short sentences with strong verbs, as in this excerpt: Stogsdill whirled, slamming into the muzzle of the gun. The motion jerked her backward. Her finger slipped in a reflexive squeeze on the trigger. With a deafening boom, the Smith and Wesson fired.  

• Dialogue: When characters say harsh things, surprising things, shocking things, their words carry an emotional wallop. In "A Daddy for Christmas" these are Tess's words to a guilt-ridden Rafe: He ambled toward them, scanning the store, and then stopped before her father. “I’m sorry about your loss, sir. So sorry about Vi.” His Adam’s apple convulsed. “I’m to blame for her death.”                                                                            “Easy enough to apologize,” Tess said. “You didn’t sit at her bedside and watch her draw her last breath.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Better yet, we can reveal truth and fuel emotion by having the character's words clash with their thoughts or actions.  

• Setting:  We want the setting to feel real, to ground the story in place and time, but it's how the characters see the setting and the emotion it triggers that makes setting a powerful tool for emotional writing. The setting is not just location and time period, it's anything tangible in the story. In this excerpt, I used elements of the setting to show Carly's feelings about her dead husband.: Though the air carried the scent of mowed grass, spring flowers and fresh-turned dirt, the vile odors that had clung to Max filled her nostrils still, as if he stood at her side, not laid out at her feet. Setting can also be used as an analogy or metaphor, as in this excerpt: Gnaw Bone Christian Church cast a morning shadow, the steeple’s silhouette pointing right at Nate like the finger of God.       

• Symbols: A cowboy hat Nate gave Henry is used to show Henry's feelings toward Nate, as in this excerpt: Nate stared at Henry’s Stetson lying there in the mud. Discarded, soiled, unwanted.    

These tips are tools, not a magical formula. Writers usually combine these techniques, as in this excerpt inside Carly's head that gives Henry's description, dialogue, action, reaction, and ends with her introspection:

Henry, his dark brown hair lifting in the gentle breeze, pointed to the hole in the ground. “Is Pa staying in there?”

Carly met his troubled eyes; eyes far too old for one so young. “Yes. Your pa’s passed on.”

“Like our old hound dog? Pa ain’t coming back?”

“That’s right.”

Her son gave a nod then stepped to the dirt piled at the edge of the grave and stomped the soil with his scuff-toed shoe.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Henry pivoted back to her, lips quivering, eyes welling with tears. “He can’t hurt you now, Mama.”

The heartbreaking truth sank to Carly’s belly like a stone. Henry had not forgotten the last time his father had returned home. The first time Max had slapped her with more than words. The force of the blow had knocked her to the floor, terrifying her son.

If you're feeling brave, share a one-two sentence excerpt from a manuscript or book you've written or have read that triggered an emotional response in you. One person leaving a comment will win a $10 Amazon gift card and an eCopy of "A Daddy for Christmas.". 

For breakfast, I brought coffee and tea, apple fritters, hard-boiled eggs and oatmeal. 

Janet Dean grew up in a family who cherished the past and had a strong creative streak. Her father recounted fascinating stories, like his father before him. The tales they told instilled in Janet a love of history and the desire to write. Janet is a two-time Golden Heart finalist, Genesis and Carol finalist and a member of Romance Writers of America and American Christian Fiction Writers. Her Love Inspired Historical novels are also Golden Quill, Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, Booksellers Best, Inspirational Readers Choice Award and Holt Medallion finalists. 

A Daddy for Christmas

When Rafe Rafferty discovers he’s a father, he returns to Bountiful, Indiana, to marry the mother, only to learn she died after childbirth and her sister Tess is raising his child. Rafe falls head over heels for his daughter and for Tess Russo, a woman who doesn’t trust easily. Especially the man she thinks abandoned her sister. Can Rafe prove he’s worthy and conquer the protective walls she’s built around her heart?