TAKE A BOOK FROM GOOD TO SOLD IN 10 STEPS

Shirley Jump

Thanks so much to Seekerville for having me here again! I’m thrilled to tell you some of my tips for how I became a published author. Nearly 60 books sold later, it’s worked out pretty well for me ;-)

When I was first trying to sell a book, I struggled to find some magic formula that would take a book good enough to win contests to perfect enough to sell. What I found became a checklist of sorts, which I’ve posted below. What makes a book SOLD instead of simply good enough to win contests? Several factors, I discovered when I took two previous manuscripts that had done well in contests and later revamped them to make them sell.

The first of those books was THE VIRGIN’S PROPOSAL, my first Harlequin Romance, which went on to win the Booksellers’ Best Award. The second (and the one I have examples from) is THE BRIDE WORE CHOCOLATE (adult content), recently re-released to Nook in their Nook First program (it’ll be on Kindle in a few weeks and the rest of the books in the series are on both Nook and Kindle).

Going from Good to SOLD to me is all about taking the book one step further:

1. Make sure every Scene has a Goal and a Sequel. Does your main character in each scene have something he/she wants to accomplish during the course of the scene? If you have a scene that just seems to be sitting there, with no real purpose, then nine times out of ten, the lack of a goal is the problem. Each of the scene goals should feed into the main book goal, and should raise the stakes and the tension. The minute you lose your tension, you’re at the end of your book, because the characters have achieved their goals.

2. Make sure your plot hangs together. This usually requires one read through to look for any potential holes in your plot, any questions left unanswered, etc. Be sure to make notes as you go along, rather than trusting your memory. Often, it’s a dangling plot that keeps a book from being unique enough.

3. Did you make the most of your voice? Voice is that indefinable thing that really sets you apart from another writer. Structurally, you might have a fabulous book but if you haven’t given it your own unique flavor -- the stamp that makes that book YOURS and yours alone -- it won’t stand out among the others on the editor’s desk.

4. Conflict, Conflict, Conflict: Don’t be afraid to throw more and more roadblocks into your characters’ paths. As authors, we’re often too nice to our characters and don’t give them enough hardships. Hardship fosters change which in turn creates character growth. Also, characters who solve their internal and external obstacles too early end the book too soon. Be sure there is some “but” still getting in the character’s way, forcing them to continue on their emotional (and physical, if you have one) journey before you get to the final concluding scene.

5. Motivation, Motivation, Motivation: Do your characters have reasons for everything they do? And do those motivations come from the character’s character -- i.e., what makes him/her uniquely themselves -- rather than some contrivance on your part? Character actions should grow out of character experience, self concept and wants or needs.

6. Look at your balance of narrative and dialogue. Do you have too much of one or the other? Too little in one area? Do you have long passages between spurts of conversation, which make for unnatural pauses? It really helps to read aloud at this point to make sure the dialogue olds together naturally. If necessary, act it out to really see the places where your narrative is too long.

7. Speaking of dialogue — make sure every bit is necessary. Dialogue is a plot tool. It’s used to further the plot and show character, rather than just sitting there, filling up space.

8. Check the obvious. Did you look at all the spelling and grammar errors? Fix the dangling participles and split infinitives? Remove all the extra “thats” and “justs”? Take out as much passive writing as possible? Try to show instead of tell?

9. Tighten. And tighten again. Once you’ve gone through the manuscript for all of the above reasons, go through it again for tightening. Can you use one word instead of five and get the same impact? Can you reword passages with stronger verbs and adjectives, delivering more punch in every sentence?

10. Can you use more unique phrases to express the same thing? Too often, writers relay on clichés for their descriptions instead of striving for something more unique. This is that indefinable aspect that editors are looking for — a strong book written by an author with his/her own distinctive style. To achieve that, you have to write better than those who have gone before you. Be stronger, be more precise. Try harder. That means coming up with several versions of a turn of phrase or striving to go beyond the stereotype. Don’t settle for what’s easy and predictable. Take it to the next level and you’ll soon be hearing your career go to the next level of...

SOLD!

(a side note on the excerpt—it’s a little sassy)

eBook (adult content)

Original “Good” Version of THE BRIDE WORE CHOCOLATE (notes in caps)

The sign on the corner and the Mercedes parked beside it told her she was on Beacon Street in a very exclusive part of Boston. She barely had to raise her arm before a yellow taxicab pulled up beside her. (THIS IS THE OPENING OF CHAPTER TWO. NOT BAD, BUT NO HOOK, AND LOTS OF TELLING)

As she rode home, she realized she wouldn’t trade her cozy two-room apartment near the North End for any of the brownstones on Beacon Street. She loved the smell of the bakeries, enjoyed talking with her neighbors and especially liked the quaint cobblestone streets. (WORKS IN BACKSTORY BUT DOES IT IN TELLING, WHICH ISN’T GOOD. AND NO SCENE GOAL HERE EITHER.)

She had lived in Boston ever since she went to college. Her parents never understood how she could prefer the crowded, noisy city over the tranquility of the suburb where she’d spent her childhood. (AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH TELLING FOR YOU, HERE’S MORE ;-)

How could she ever explain that some tiny part of her needed the bustling atmosphere of the city? The hum of the traffic, the people hurrying by in the mornings, were fuel for the drive that burned inside her. (AND MORE)

What no one knew, not even John, was that her dreams were here, the ones she’d had in college when she majored in business, hoping someday to open her own flower shop, to have the independence and financial security she craved. (AND MORE)

At her graduation, she had every intention of announcing her plans. But when her parents hurried over to congratulate her on her degree, she didn’t get a chance to say anything. John knelt down in front of her, held out a sparkling diamond and asked her to be his wife. (AND NOW HERE’S A BACKSTORY DUMP…AND MORE TELLING. SO FAR, NO COMEDY, NO GOAL, NO CONFLICT, NO MOTIVATION).

“Oh, Candace, I’m so proud. Now you can settle down and have those grandchildren I’ve been dreaming of,” her mother exclaimed, tears glistening in her eyes. “You’ve got everything now, dear, everything you could ever dream of.”

I suppose I do, Candace mused. It was her father’s heart attack the following autumn that had sealed her fate and kept her from pursuing the shop. In the years since, both her parents had become dependent, financially and emotionally, on their remaining child. It was a pressure that was hard to ignore. (AND EVEN MORE TELLING, JUST TO KEEP IT THAT WAY ;-)

Compare all that above to the SOLD version, which I think uses my voice more, adds more conflict and showing, and has a clearer goal. It’s also funnier and has more tension.

SOLD version of THE BRIDE WORE CHOCOLATE:

Every block of the trip home compounded Candace's guilt, rolling in her stomach along with the stench of the cabbie and his faux Cuban cigar. How could she have done something so stupid? And if Barry ever found out... (ACTIONS ARE HERE, AND THERE IS LESS TELLING, LESS OF THE TO BE VERB)

He wouldn't. She’d sweep this momentary lapse of common sense under the rug and leave it there with the Cheetos from last year's Christmas party. The only people who knew were Rebecca, Maria and herself. The three of them could keep a secret for the next, oh, fifty years. (NOW I WORK IN SOME COMEDY AND LOTS OF CONFLICT. AND HERE’S HER GOAL—TO FORGET ALL ABOUT IT AND PRETEND THE NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED)

As the cab rounded the corner of her street, a swell of anger rose in her throat as she thought about how she must have ended up in the pickle in the first place. How could her “friends” leave her with that Rudolph Valentino wanna-be? What had they been thinking? Had this been some twisted bachelorette scheme? (NOW HERE’S A BIT OF TELLING BUT IT WORKS BETTER BECAUSE SHE’S IN THE CAB. ALREADY ESTABLISHED ACTION, SO I HAVE THE MOMENTS TO DO THIS. I ALSO DID IT WITH LESS TELLING)

He'd claimed she'd asked him to take her for a ride on the wild side. Impossible. He was lying, taking advantage of her hungover state. She wouldn't have. She couldn't have.

Well...yeah, but she kind of had with that kiss.

No, that was a pod twin of herself. A temporary fugue state. Candace tossed the possibility that she'd had anything to do with her own predicament right through the smeared dirty window. (BRINGS IT BACK TO THE PRESENT WITH THE LAST WORDS, AND ADDS CONFLICT)

The cab stopped. Candace paid and hopped out. She crept into the house, hoping to pass by Grandma's door undetected. It was, after all, only a little after seven in the morning. Maybe Grandma had slept in. But since Candace had all the sneakability of an African elephant and Grandma had the hearing of a Navy man, that wasn't to be. (NOW I ADD ACTIONS AND DIALOGUE TO SHOW INSTEAD OF TELL THE BACKSTORY)

“Candace? Is that you?” Grandma Woodrow opened her door and stepped out into the hall the duplexes shared. Dressed head to toe in purple-and-teal Spandex, punctuated with knee pads, elbow pads and a dark purple bicycle helmet, Grandma looked equipped for extreme knitting. (ADDS COMEDY AND RATHER THAN DOING A BACKSTORY DUMP, KEEPS IT PRESENT AND ACTIVE)

Candace let out a laugh. “Don't tell me. I don't think I want to know.”

“Pshaw.” Grandma waved a hand at her. “George is teaching me to Rollerblade. We're thinking of going to Venice Beach in January, and everyone who's anyone there Rollerblades.” (SETS UP GRANDMA’S CHARACTER IN A FEW WORDS AND A VISUAL)

Hopefully seeing the “rules” in action help you apply this to your own book. And before you know it, you’re going from Good to SOLD!

Shirley

Leave a comment for a chance to have the first page of your manuscript critiqued by Shirley.

Tension! Conflict! Action! Creating a Compelling Book with guest Shirley Jump

Janet here. I’m always happy to host my good friend and critique partner, Shirley Jump, in Seekerville. For more of Shirley's tips on conflict, go here to the Seekerville archives. Today she’s defining conflict and tension, the stuff that keeps readers turning pages. So without further ado, here’s Shirley!

            Remember science class, where you learned about the Symbiotic relationships between different species? How there are parasitic relationships (where one creatures takes from another, and doesn’t give anything back (those images of the lamprey still give me nightmares), commensalism (where neither species is hurt or helped) and mutualism (where both species are helped). I’m not going to go all Science Professor on you here, because believe me, I am no scientist. Instead, I just bring this up as a way to help you see the relationship between Tension and Conflict.

            First, let’s talk about the differences between Tension and Conflict.

Conflict is the ROADBLOCKS, whether physical or emotional, which get in your character’s way as he is trying to achieve his goal. It’s the villain chasing him with a gun, the car that won’t start, the bank that won’t give him the loan, his mistrust of people, his inability to get close to another person, etc.

            Tension is the pit-of-your-gut feeling as you’re reading a book that makes you keep turning the pages. It’s the worry for the characters. You worry whether they will be okay. Whether the hero and heroine will find love. Whether the hero will rescue his child. Whether the heroine will find out the truth about her father, and if she does, what will happen then.

       

Conflict is the roadblocks. Tension is the QUESTIONS.

Tension has two levels, something that Maass talks about in Fire in Fiction. There is macro-tension—the big question, in other words, will the hero achieve his goal? It’s the question that runs from the beginning of the book to the end. Once that question is answered, the book is essentially done.

            Micro-tension is the second level. This is the scene by scene, paragraph by paragraph, sentence by sentence, word by word tension. You use ALL the senses as often as possible to work this in. You use the dialogue, you use the descriptions, you use the pacing of the sentences. Study books that keep you feeling that tension, that force you to turn the pages simply by the sheer NEED TO KNOW.

That’s micro-tension. It’s created using a lot of different techniques. Think about a horror movie—think about the scene where the hapless heroine is ascending a dark staircase, approaching a slightly open door that creaks in the slight breeze coming in from the open window. Or is it creaking from something (or someone) else? That tense, tight, nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach as you watch the heroine climb those stairs, KNOWING SOMETHING BAD IS WAITING FOR HER, is micro-tension.

The director creates that by making the space dark, confined, putting the heroine at a physical disadvantage (no weapon, perhaps), and showing the emotions of trepidation on her face. He adds in the sounds coming from behind the door, the slight creak of someone walking across the floor, the feel of the cold door handle surprising the girl…in other words, he uses all the senses to create that tension in the pit of the viewer’s stomach.

            Here’s an excerpt from Dennis Lehane’s GONE, BABY, GONE. Look at how he uses the descriptions to create that micro-tension from the very first pages:

Amanda McCready had been on this earth four years and seven months when she vanished. Her mother had put her to bed on Sunday night, checked in on her once around eight-thirty, and the next morning, shortly after nine, had looked in at Amanda's bed and seen nothing but sheets dented with the wrinkled impression of her daughter's body.

The clothes Helene McCready had laid out for her daughter—a pink T-shirt, denim shorts, pink socks, and white sneakers—were gone, as was Amanda's favorite doll, a blond-haired replica of a three-year-old that bore an eerie resemblance to its owner, and whom Amanda had named Pea. The room showed no sign of struggle

            The bedding, the pajamas, the missing doll…all that pulls at our heartstrings and increases the tension about the missing girl. You feel the vulnerability of her, you worry for her, you wonder if she’ll be found—and if she’ll be alive when she is found. It creates tension for the characters, and also for the reader.

In an interview with Donald Maass on ScribblersGazette.com, he explained tension thus:

When you suggest that writers consider over-lapping tension, does that refer to the scene as a little story, or tension on every page, or both?

Donald Maass: Well, both. A scene enacts a change – that’s a mini-story. But to get through even an eight page scene, to make every word essential reading, you need line-by-line tension. So, I guess in a way you’re thinking/writing on three levels at once: macro plot, scene mini-story, and micro-tension.

Is micro-tension the same as ‘tension on every page’?

Donald Maass: Yes. Last night I went to a tribute service for John Updike, great event, his widow and family were there. They played an interview… Updike said that what he writes about is the tension between what one wants, and what is. It’s the modern dilemma. It preoccupied him.

What a character wants and what is—that’s a great way to look at tension.

Here’s an excerpt from my latest Riverbend book, Family Christmas in Riverbend, that shows tension at play. See how what the heroine wants contrasts with what is:

            He was holding their daughter. Actually holding her.

Livia’s heart flipped over in her chest, and she blinked, sure she was seeing things. But no, it was real. It was Edward.

And their daughter.

He turned when Livia entered. “Sshhh. She’s almost asleep,” he whispered.

            “You’re…you’re holding her. More or less.” She stepped closer, forcing herself not to step in there and hold Piper herself because even she knew him just touching the baby was a huge step forward, “But you might want to hold her tighter, though.”

            “Sorry.” He shifted his position but didn’t bring the baby any closer. It was like she was a time bomb and he was hoping like hell she wouldn’t go off. “I got kind of desperate when she wouldn’t stop crying.” He gave Livia a grin, the lopsided smile that he used to have, the one that had made her fall in love with him. And a part of her, she knew, had started falling for him again.

            Dared to hope that this one moment could turn into two, then three, then four, then forever. It was only one sliver of time, she reminded herself. It didn’t mean anything.

            But her heart refused to accept that. Refused to accept the lessons she had already learned. Edward Graham had no intentions of building a relationship of any depth.

            Yet she saw how he had looked at Piper in that unguarded moment before he knew Livia was in the room. She had seen the tenderness on his face, and dared to dream of more. Of having it all—Edward a part of the circle of her and Piper. Hope was a stubborn thing.

            You want to look at your plot like a roller coaster. There is tension in the chug up the hill, when you know that terrifying drop is about to come. Your stomach is tight, you’re nervous, you’re holding on tight. Click, click, click, the wheels go up, your stomach gets into more knots. Then you hit the top, whiz down the terrifying hill, and then, for a few brief seconds, it’s all flat coasting, before you start up the next hill. That’s how tension should work—rise and fall, rise and fall. If it’s all tense, then that gets boring. You want to keep that roller coaster pace throughout.

            You do that by using your conflict tools. Throw roadblocks at your characters. Let them conquer some of them, fail at others. Those moments of success create the flat parts of the roller coaster, and just when they think they’re on a nice, even, quiet path, WHAM, you hit them with another roadblock/obstacle, i.e., conflict. That creates even more questions—will the heroine be able to overcome this new problem and reach her goal? Will she reach the top of the stairs before the killer catches her?

            Conflict helps create tension, and tension helps add to conflict. The more roadblocks and obstacles your character has to overcome, the more the reader wonders if he can succeed at his goal. And tension adds to the conflict, because if the character is fearful or doubting or anxious, it can make overcoming an obstacle that much harder. These two story essentials have a strong symbiotic relationship that benefits both of them, because strong conflict and strong tension work well together. Create that roller coaster by using conflict and tension, and you’ll be creating a book that the reader is dying to finish!

 New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Shirley Jump spends her days writing romance and women’s fiction to feed her shoe addiction and avoid cleaning the toilets. She cleverly finds writing time by feeding her kids junk food, allowing them to dress in the clothes they find on the floor and encouraging the dogs to double as vacuum cleaners. Visit her website at www.shirleyjump.com or read recipes and life adventures at www.shirleyjump.blogspot.com.

Janet again. Shirley is giving away a five-pack of her Harlequin romances. If you’d like to win, leave a comment. Ask a question. Her eBook The Bride Wore Chocolate goes live on Nook on B&N on May 23 and in Amazon in June. 

To celebrate Shirley’s visit, I’ve set up a buffet, a duplicate of the fabulous food on the Mother’s Day brunch our family enjoyed. Omelets, Belgium waffles, beef, salmon, chicken, salads, vegetable dishes, desserts galore, whatever you have a yen for you’ll find on this spread.

Oh, no, we have no plates. Talk about a roadblock! A quick trip to the store for paper plates will fix that. But oh, what if I gobble all that food and disgust the man of my dreams, watching from across the crowded room? Dare I indulge?  

Sorry. That was a silly attempt at conflict and tension. LOL My dreamboat never finds me disgusting.  I asked. The plates aren’t plastic, they're Haviland. ;-) Grab one and let’s talk conflict and tension.  

Conflict: What it is and What it Isn’t

I'm excited to have Shirley Jump in Seekerville today! Shirley and I have been friends and critiqued for almost fifteen years. Each time Shirley visits Seekerville she shares her wisdom on some aspect of craft or the business of writing. Today her topic is conflict. Conflict is story. So obviously we writers need to understand what it is and what it isn't.

Without further ado, here's Shirley!


All books have conflict. And ironically, it’s one of the things that writers struggle with over and over again. If you remember this: conflict is the events, things, people and emotional issues that stand in your character’s way, then it becomes easier to pinpoint the conflict in your story. Conflict is, at its essence, what prevents a character from achieving his or her goal, whether it’s because of their own fears or outside events.

WHAT CONFLICT IS NOT:

An Argument: Your characters can argue, of course, but good conflict is not a disagreement that can be solved with a few quick words. The last thing people want to read about is other people fighting for an entire book. If one character yells at another, they must have a STRONG and BELIEVABLE motivation for doing so. It’s not just fighting for fighting’s sake.

A Delay: Conflict is not a wait in traffic or an alarm clock going off. That doesn’t raise the stakes or increase the tension, unless the wait in traffic is caused by the killer who is after your hero and wants to corner him so he can shoot him in the head. The ordinary frustrations that fill our days are not conflict. They are simply frustrations, and they don’t increase the tension.

A Conversation that Needs to Be Had: That’s called a conversational conflict—meaning if the characters just talk for two minutes, they’ll clear things up. That can work for a scene or two but if you carry it on too long, your reader begins to wonder what is wrong with a character who can’t ask that question he’s dying to ask or that heroine who doesn’t just tell the hero the truth. If the characters are keeping information to themselves, they need to have a darn good reason—again, a believable motivation—and there must be a cost to keeping that information secret. Meaning, things must get worse with every minute they keep their mouths shut. There are consequences to the decisions your characters make.

WHAT CONFLICT IS:

Important to the Character: When something gets in your character’s way and stops them from reaching their goals, it must be important. A man who is cut off from civilization by a snowstorm would be annoyed if he was going to miss a meeting, but if the stakes were higher and the snowstorm keeps him from reaching his stranded child, then the conflict of being stuck becomes important. Then the reader cares and wants to see your hero figure a way out of that mess.

Issues That Stem From Character Pasts: The best conflict is created by the character’s themselves and their perceptions about the world. The woman who was abandoned as a child is going to have attachment issues, and thus, she won’t be able to get close to or trust the one person she needs to. Dig deep into your character’s lives and figure out what makes them tick, what they are afraid of, and what has shaped their personalities. Use that to create conflict tailored just to them.

Something that Forces Them to Change: We get out of the sun when it gets too hot. We put up an umbrella when the rain turns from mist to torrential downpour. People don’t change unless they are forced to, and conflict is that catalyst to change. They must face their deepest fears, and overcome their greatest challenges, in order to attain what they truly want.

It’s About Character: If you remember that conflict comes FROM your character, is what DRIVES and/or PARALYZES your character, then you create a book that stems from character, not from plot. Plot-driven books are mostly about external forces on a character, whereas character-driven books are mostly based on the internal workings of your character. In turn, that creates a more emotional read, which draws the reader in and makes your book not only more compelling but more memorable.

It’s Both Internal and External: That said, you want to be sure you have both internal (emotional) and external (physical) conflicts. A character’s fear of abandonment (internal) will affect how she reacts when she is left alone at the wheel of a runaway train (the external).

It is Opposition to the Character Goal: That opposition can, and should, come in many forms. Let’s do an example to show you what I mean:
In Gone With the Wind, Scarlett wants to save Tara. She will do whatever it takes to save the family farm. Emotionally, she is connected to Tara because it connects her to her father. However, the sudden death of her father has left her wounded and afraid to get close to anyone else. When the one man she thinks she loves marries another, her fear of abandonment is multiplied, which eventually makes her avoid getting too close to Rhett.
Internal conflict: fear of abandonment, fear of losing the world and home she loves, her “love” for Ashley
External conflict: Civil war, Rhett, society
In the best books, the internal and external conflicts are intertwined and impact each other. The Civil War takes away Scarlett’s world, and her home, and creates constant worries and stresses for her. Her fear of abandonment prevents her from getting close to the one man who truly loves and understands her—Rhett. And society’s judgment and choices for a woman in those days makes it extremely difficult for Scarlett to save Tara without a husband (which is why she marries Frank). Her love for Ashley prevents her from seeing Rhett as her true love, and Rhett’s abandonment of her at the end is her worst nightmare. However, by the end of the book, she has learned she is stronger than she thought, and this growth allows her to overcome the moment and rise again.

Here’s an excerpt from my latest release, THE PRINCESS TEST, that shows you how you can use the characters, the environment and the words the characters don’t say to show the conflict. A little setup—Daniel, the hero, is a reporter who doubts Carrie is truly a princess. He’s at the library with his little girl when he runs into Carrie:

>> The little girl with Daniel stared up at Carrie, her blue eyes wide and curious. “You’re a princess? A real one?”

Carrie bent down slightly. “I am.”

The little girl’s mouth opened into a tiny O. “Wow.” She tilted her head and gave Carrie a curious look. “Where’s your crown?”

“Back home in Uccelli, where I come from.”

“But don’t princess always hafta wear a crown, so everybody knows they’re special?” (THIS IS A KEY COMPONENT OF THE STORY…WHAT MAKES A PRINCESS?)

“Princesses are special every day, Annabelle.” Carrie gave the girl a smile…(skipped section)

“Well, well,” Daniel said after the couple left the room. “Seems the princess angle is good for sales.” (HERE’S HIS CONFLICT IN BELIEVING HER…IS SHE DOING IT FOR SALES?)

She bristled. “That isn’t why I told people who I am.” (SHE’S TIRED OF A SKEPTICAL MEDIA, CONFLICT FOR HER BETWEEN THEM)

He arched a brow. “It isn’t?”

“Of course not.” She glared at him. “You always see the worst in people, don’t you?”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because you people are jaded and bitter and think everyone is lying.”

His face hardened and she knew she’d struck a nerve. “Well perhaps if people didn’t tell us lies all the time, reporters wouldn’t be so jaded.” (AND PART OF HIS CONFLICT STEMS FROM A TIME HE WAS LIED TO)

“I’m not—“

“Here, read this one.” The little girl thrust a book between them. Then she leaned in closer to her father and lowered her voice. “And Daddy, you’re not supposed to fight with a princess.” (NOW ANNABELLE BECOMES PART OF THE CONFLICT BY REMINDING THE ADULTS TO HAVE GOOD BEHAVIOR AND FORCING THEM TOGETHER)

The lines in Daniel’s face softened, and the hard edge disappeared. He bent down to his daughter’s level and took the book from her hands. “You’re right, Belle.”

She beamed, then spun on those plastic pink shoes and thrust out a hand toward Carrie. “I’m Annabelle. I’m not a princess, but I wanna be one really bad.” (ANNABELLE’S BELIEF IN PRINCESSES IS A CHALLENGE TO CARRIE’S CONCEPTION OF HERSELF AS A PRINCESS, ANOTHER CONFLICT)

Carrie laughed, and shook the little girl’s hand. Five fingers, so delicate, so soft, and so reminiscent of herself and her sisters. “I’m Carlita Santaro, but you can call me Carrie.”

“Princess Carrie.” Annabelle glanced up at Carrie, all smiles and apple cheeks. “I like that name.”

“Me too.” Carrie glanced at Daniel. He’d tamed his go-for-the-jugular reporter side for now. But how long would that last? In the end, she knew where his type gravitated—to the story. Regardless of the consequences or fallout. But a part of her wanted to know if a guy who could look at his daughter with such love in his eyes could be different. Still, her instincts told her to keep her distance. (A WHOLE PARAGRAPH OF CONFLICT!) “I should go.”

“Stay,” Annabelle said. “’Cuz, Daddy’s going to read a story and he’s really good at reading stories.” (CONFLICT…UPSET THE LITTLE GIRL OR GO?)

“Oh, I don’t think I should—“

But the little girl had already grabbed Carrie’s hand and was tugging her in Daniel’s direction. “You can sit ova there. I can sit ova here. And Daddy,” the girl stopped in front of her father, propped one fist on her hip, and gave him a stern look, “you can read.”

Daniel let out a laugh, then sent Carrie an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Annabelle can be…demanding.”

“Daddy! I’m not ‘manding. I’m nice.”

He chuckled again. “Yes, Belle, you are nice. The nicest little girl in the world.”

Annabelle beamed and the love between father and daughter seemed to fill the small colorful space. This other side of Daniel Reynolds surprised Carrie, but she refused to soften her stance about an interview about herself. She’d seen a hundred times how trusting someone from the media could turn around and bite her. Hadn’t they been painting her as the “extra” princess for years? As if the royal family could discard her because she’d never be queen.

How did she know this guy wouldn’t do the same? Or worse, just make something up?
No, if she allowed him into her world, it would be to talk about Uccelli’s wines. And nothing more. And all the while she’d be wary, and not trust him.

But as she watched him interact with his daughter, a part of her wanted to believe he was different. That she could trust him. (CONFLICT IN THOSE THREE PARAGRAPHS…TRUST HIM OR NOT??)

“Come on,” Annabelle said, tugging on Carrie’s hand again. “You gotta sit down or Daddy won’t read. It’s a…” she glanced at her father for the word.

“Rule,” Daniel supplied. Then he shrugged and smiled again. “Sorry, but it is.”

Carrie thought of leaving. Then she caught Daniel’s smile again, and something about it hit her square in the gut. He had a lopsided smile, the kind that gave his face character and depth, and had her following Annabelle to the square of carpet on Daniel’s right. As soon as Carrie lowered herself onto the small space, Annabelle scrambled over to his opposite side, plunked down on her bottom and plopped her chin into her hands. “Read my story, Daddy.”

He arched a brow.

“P’ease.”

“Okay.” He turned the cover of the book and then shot Carrie a glance. “Seems Belle has picked The Princess and the Pea. You know, the fairy tale about the woman they suspect is masquerading as a princess.” (MORE CONFLICT! THIS IS THE CORE OF THE MATTER)

“I love that story,” Annabelle said, completely oblivious to the hidden conversation between the adults. “’Cuz it’s got a princess in it. I love princesses.”

“Then by all means, I think you should read it,” Carrie said to Daniel.

“I think I should, too. Refresh my memory.” He leaned back against a beanbag chair, and Annabelle curled up next to him, laying her blonde head on his chest so she could see the pictures as he read.

The father-daughter picture before her filled Carrie with a rush of sentiment. On the rare occasions when her mother had been home at night and around at bedtime, she’d made it a rule to read the girls at least one story, sometimes two. Always a fairy tale, because she said those were the kind of stories that taught you to dream. Carrie leaned against the bookcase, as enthralled as the little girl in Daniel’s arms.

She’d stay just a minute, no more, and only because Annabelle had asked her. She didn’t want to intrude. Or get any closer to this man. (CONFLICT!)

“Then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on top of the pea,” Daniel read, his quiet voice seeming to spin a magical web, “and then twenty elder-down beds on top of the mattresses.”

“Twenty?” Annabelle asked and fluttered her fingers as if she was counting that high. “That’s lots.”

“It is indeed,” Daniel said, then turned another page. “On this the princess had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.” He paused. “What do you think, pumpkin? Was she a princess after all, or another imposter?”

“What’s a ‘poster?”

“Well, Belle, that’s a person who pretends to be something they’re not.” He closed the book, glanced at Carrie and arched a brow. “Would you agree, Miss Santaro?”

“I think lots of people pretend to be something they aren’t.” (AND THIS, FOLKS, IS A MAJOR PART OF THE STORY…PEOPLE HIDING THE TRUTH FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS)

“You have a point,” he said. Their gazes met and for a moment, it felt like détente. Like they were starting something. What, Carrie wasn’t sure.

“Daddy, you gotta read. I wanna know if the princess lives happy ever after. And so does Princess Carrie.” (AND ISN”T THAT THE REASON FOR READING A ROMANCE?)

Daniel glanced at Carrie, and arched a brow. A teasing grin darted across his face. Was he…flirting with her? Or merely playing into Annabelle’s game. “Well, Princess Carrie? Do you want me to keep reading?”

She waved toward the book. “Please do, Mr. Reynolds. I’m dying to hear how this one ends.”

His gaze met hers and something hot pooled inside her. “I am too,” he said. Then he opened the book again and began to read.<<

Make the conflict important to the character and it will be to the reader, too. Dig deep to get to know your characters better, and use that information to create fully formed people who have to face their deepest fears in order to achieve their goals. Conflict is one of the best tools in the writer’s arsenal, so use it to create the best book possible!

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Shirley Jump spends her days writing romance and women’s fiction to feed her shoe addiction and avoid cleaning the toilets. She cleverly finds writing time by feeding her kids junk food, allowing them to dress in the clothes they find on the floor and encouraging the dogs to double as vacuum cleaners. Visit her website at www.shirleyjump.com or read recipes and life adventures at www.shirleyjump.blogspot.com.

Shirley is giving away The Princess Test and A Princess for Christmas, in a two-pack of the first two princesses of Ucelli stories, to one reader selected from those leaving a comment.

Janet again. In honor of Shirley's Princess books, I brought a breakfast fit for royalty. Cheese blintzes, Eggs Benedict with hollandaise sauce, an assortment of rolls and scones, fresh fruit, coffee and a selection of the finest teas. While we eat, let's talk conflict.

Pitfalls with Scene and Sequel

• If you’re a writer, you most likely use Scene and Sequel. We’ve talked about these important elements of story structure in Seekerville before. Since I need to review the basics of craft often, and I'm hoping I’m not the only one who does, today I’ll be talking about this important element of story using Jack Bickham’s Scene and Structure.
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  First let's look at story. Story begins when the protagonist is jarred out of his comfort zone with a change that threatens the status quo. When a hero and heroine are slapped with trouble, they will not whine and fret as I’m prone to do. Instead they make a story-length goal they believe will make things “right” again. Our job as writers is to impose obstacles to these goals that add conflict and raise the stakes.
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  Okay, that's enough about the big picture. Let's go back to Scene and Sequel.
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  Scene is a segment of physical story action in the now, not in the character’s head.
  
  Bickham suggests the following pattern for scenes that will move the story forward:
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• Begin scenes with the statement of the point of view character’s immediate goal that’s relevant to his long-term goal. This is a small part of scene.
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• Introduce and develop conflict and compromise. Keep the action in the moment. The character’s goal is opposed for the majority of the scene, usually by a villain or antagonist with strong motivation to thwart the protagonist’s goal.
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• End the scene with disaster. Disaster should fit the goal, not just be some random act of violence. Disaster is not what we think of as a disaster such as an earthquake or injury, but disastrous for the goal. A “yes, but” or a “no, and furthermore” dilemma that’s unanticipated yet a logical development that sets the character back. Disaster is a small part of the scene. Failure to reach his goal raises the stakes for the character, giving the reader reason to worry and sympathize.
  
  Sounds easy, but it isn’t, at least not for me.
  
  Pitfalls with writing scenes:
• Pitfall #1--Writing a scene with the purpose of showing something about the character. That means the goal for the scene is the writers, not the characters. Instead show the character’s attributes while the character is working to obtain a goal. If the character doesn’t have a goal, the scene is pointless and should be scrapped.
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• Pitfall #2--Giving the POV character a goal that doesn’t relate to the book-length goal. When writers do this scenes will feel episodic. Ever had that problem? If the immediate goal relates to the book-length goal our story will flow.
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• Pitfall #3--Forgetting to have the character state his goal, either to himself or to another character. Bickham says put it in black and white so the reader will worry whether or not the character will get his goal.
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• Pitfall #4--Focusing on giving a great hook, which is good, but at the expense of showing whether the character got his goal or not and how this is a disaster for him.

Moving on to Sequel.

Bickham says sequel begins for the POV character the moment the scene ends. After the disaster the POV character is flooded with emotion. Emotion leads to thought, then to a decision or goal that results in a step toward a new immediate goal and a new action. That pattern keeps the story flowing and ensures scenes won’t feel episodic. To write strong sequels, writers must dig deep into character’s thoughts and feelings. The length of sequel depends on the writer, the story and/or the POV character. Sequel can come at the end of the scene, as Bickham says, or at the beginning of the next scene or even as introspection during dialogue.

• Emotion: Show how the character is feeling by using his actions, dialogue or/and physical reaction. Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Have you experienced this emotion? What did you do?
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• Thought/Review: The character gets rational enough to remember his story-length goal and think about his new problem.
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• Analysis: Show the character as he plans, decides on his options.
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• Decision: The character makes a new immediate goal that will help him obtain his story-length goal. He decides what he will do next, what action he will take that leads to the new active scene.
  
  Pitfalls with writing sequels:
  
• Telling emotion instead of showing how the character is feeling.
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• Finding the right amount of thought and analysis. Too much and it slows the pace. Too little and the reader doesn’t feel the impact of the disaster.
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• Having things happen to my characters, making them victims, instead of my characters making new plans that drive the action.
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  Perhaps you know other pitfalls with writing Scene and Sequel. If so please share.

With thirty-one books under her belt, my critique partner Shirley Jump is a master of Scene and Sequel. She’s a seat of the pants writer who uses this technique to find her story.

The following passage is from Vegas Pregnancy Surprise, a secret baby story.

The dry Vegas air slammed into Molly as soon as she got out of the taxicab. The August heat seemed to weigh on her, like a thick, suffocating blanket. Dry or not—it was hot.

"Are you sure this is the right place?” she asked the cab driver.

The older man at the wheel of the car gestured toward the towering glass buildings, two twin mirrors of each other, connected by an all-glass skybridge. The building was impressive, with neat linear lines and a clean silver and glass exterior, a stark contrast to the colorful noise of the Vegas strip a little ways behind them. “Curtis Systems, yes, ma’am. Can’t miss it.”

Molly thanked and paid the driver. She stepped into the shadow of the Curtis Systems building, dwarfed by the twenty-plus stories above her. Now that she was finally here, trepidation held her rooted to the spot.

She should go home. Forget the whole idea. Come up with another plan.

Except, there wasn’t really another plan, at least not one that could solve both the job and getting to know the father of her baby dilemmas all at once.

She just hadn’t expected the Linc she met in a bar two months ago was this Linc.

When she’d Googled Linc, with what little information she had, she’d come back with two different possibilities for software companies in Las Vegas. There’d been many software companies, of course, but only two that returned results with an employee named Linc. The first was no longer in business—all she’d found had been a weedy lot with a For Sale sign. That left Curtis Systems.

The company name had returned hundreds of Google hits, link after link showing the meteoric rise of the company’s success. Google hadn’t lied. She peered up at the monolith of a building. A success story on a mega level. And according to the information she’d read on the Internet, Linc didn’t just work here—he was the owner and CEO.

The man she’d met, the one who seemed so…normal, so guy-next-door, was the same one at the helm of this massive, multi-national, multi-million dollar corporation?

Again, she considered turning around, heading back to San Diego. Then her hand drifted to her stomach, to the new life growing inside her, and she knew she had to go inside that building.

Not just for the job she needed, but for her baby.

The heroine, Molly, has just lost her teaching job and discovered she's pregnant. Her book-length goal is stated at the opening of this scene. She wants to hook up again with Linc, the father of her baby and to get a job while she’s there. Her motivation: She wants to get to know Linc so she can tell her child about his father one day. Without a job, she needs to make money for the baby.

Here's the end of that scene:

She pushed those thoughts aside. She wasn’t here to relive that night in the Bellagio. Even if her mind kept straying in that direction every time she looked into Linc’s blue eyes, or heard his voice, or felt his touch. Nope, not going back there. No way.

Stick to the plan, Molly. Be smart. Not foolish again.

Molly returned to the booth, perching on the edge of the seat. “When you told me about that software, I saw a man who was alive, excited. That passion extended into your idea. I wanted to be on board with something like that. Not to mention be a part of developing a program that encourages kids to get outdoors and interact with nature, rather than stay inside, being couch potatoes and playing yet another video game.”

His gaze connected with hers across the table. “You saw passion in me, for this? A different person than you see today?”

She nodded.

He looked away for a moment, not at anything in particular, but out into the restaurant. She couldn’t read whatever parade of thoughts was running through his mind. But when he turned back to her, the twinkle that had been in his blue eyes the night she’d met him had returned, and a funny quiver stirred in Molly’s gut. “If we did this, and this is a big if…it would require a team of people to implement. Particularly people who know a lot about children.”

She bit her lip. Dared to hope. “Like former kindergarten teachers?”

He smiled. “Exactly like former kindergarten teachers.”

Molly took a deep breath and voiced the idea she’d had when she’d boarded the plane to Vegas and taken the biggest risk of her life—no, the second biggest risk of her life. “That’s exactly why I came here, Linc. To offer you my services.”

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During the scene, Molly realizes the only way she’ll get to know her baby’s father is to work for him, which gives her the goal of having a job, but at the expense of possibly falling for him again. So things are worse, especially since she found out during this scene that he has no interest in settling down with anyone.

Leave a comment and your e-mail address for a chance to win a copy of Vegas Pregnancy Surprise. Better yet, if you’re a writer, share pitfalls you've experienced with writing scene and sequel.

I brought eggs benedict for breakfast with fresh fruit, tea and coffee. Dive in and let’s play.

SHARING MY FAVORITES

Often my blog posts are about craft or the writing life, but today I thought it would be fun to chat about my favorite things. Oprah does not have dibs on favorites. I can’t afford to give the products like she does, but most of my favorite things are free.
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Prayer—It boggles my mind that I can talk to God whenever I want. If you’re a talker like I am, then you know good listeners are hard to find. God is an attentive listener. I listen to Him too. Once in a while, He speaks to my heart in no uncertain terms. What a privilege prayer is.
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Sunrises and sunsets—Our house faces east and west so except on overcast days, we’re gifted with gorgeous displays twice daily. My favorite sunrises and sunsets take place over water. Even the pond out back reflects the beauty. I’ve taken a slew of pictures of the rising and setting sun, but none seems to capture God’s awesome sky painting.

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Oceans, lakes, rivers—viewing large bodies of water fills me with this amazing peace. And awe. We spend some time near the gulf in the winter and take walks along the beach. I drink in the sight of the ever-moving surf like a parched camel. Minus the slurping, of course.

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Walks—I love nature and being outdoors. I usually walk with my husband. He’s on a mission and doesn’t like to stop or even slow down. This is exercise to him, but for me it’s exploration. A time to connect with him, nature, the dog down the street. LOL
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Combine these favorites—A stroll along the beach at sunset captures a little piece of heaven on earth. Unpubbed Island goes mainland.
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Love songs: I can’t imagine this world without music. My favorites are love songs. Rod Stewart’s classic love songs top the list. We enjoy dancing too. But we're no Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

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Creating: Scarves and afghans with knitting needles and yarn, art with colored pencils and paper, greeting cards with rubber-stamps and card stock, fictional people with my imagination and the computer. I’ve noticed writers often create more than books. God wired us to create.

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Books: Books are near the top of my list of favorite things you can buy. And I hope you buy lots. LOL I love reading books. I love writing them. I love holding them. I love seeing them—coffee table books and a stack of paperbacks make a house feel cozy, lived in. Trust me our house looks very cozy. Having a book on bookstore shelves is a thrill! Seeing friends books on the shelf is great fun!
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Last month I announced in Seekerville the release of my mail-order bride story The Substitute Bride. Where has the month gone? Tomorrow The Substitute Bride will be removed from Wal-Mart and grocery store shelves. Hey, maybe they all sold. Yep, I live in LaLa Land, a nice place. Visit me any time. If you want a copy of The Substitute Bride and don’t win today, its still available online at eHarlequin and Amazon and can be found and ordered at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Books-A-Million bookstores.

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My Critique Partner, Shirley Jump—No way could I list my favorites without mentioning Shirley. We’ve been critiquing for 15 years. More than critique partners, we’re friends. I asked Shirley to name her favorite thing. I already knew her answer. Shoes! She wears all these fabulous five-inch heels. I marvel at how easily she moves around on those stilts. I look up to her. Literally. She’s already taller. Add another four inches and I’m getting a crick in my neck. Shirley’s women's fiction release from Harlequin Next, Around the Bend is in stores now. I love the cover of this fun mother/daughter road trip story. Look at the daughter’s shoes. So Shirley! Here’s a blurb:
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Thelma and Louise they're not. First of all, Hilary and Rosemary Delaney are not friends—worse, they're mother and daughter.

Hilary's a wayward thirty-something running from a marriage proposal, and Rosemary's her disapproving mother, a retired lawyer who can't drive and won't fly. So they're driving together across country.

In a cherry-red Mustang.

With a potbellied pig named Reginald, and a life-size cutout of Rosemary's late husband.

Should be a fun trip. As the miles tick by, Hilary ponders why the word "marriage" has her so terrified and finds she's got a lot to learn—about her mother, love and life in general.

Together, Hilary and Rosemary will discover what's around the bend…if they don't drive each other crazy, or drive off a cliff first.

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Shirley will give away a copy of The Other Wife from those leaving comments today.
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Seekers and Seeker friends—in case you don’t know how important you are to me, let me make it clear. I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. Early on, I wrote in a vacuum. Not the Hoover variety, but alone with no one to share the ups and downs of the writing life. So thanks to Shirley, my fourteen Seeker Sisters and our special followers who bless me daily.
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These favorites require an open wallet.

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DeBrand chocolates—a hometown favorite that’s delicious. I indulge in Hershey Kisses more frequently, but DeBrand’s is a treat, especially their truffles. Yummy.

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Vera Bradley bags—Vera Bradley originated in my hometown too. The owners started the business in a garage. Lots of imitators but Vera Bradley was first. They’re so well made they last for years. I’ve got garment bags, duffels, and cosmetic bags. Vera Bradley has an annual sale that draws thousands and golf and tennis events to raise funds for breast cancer research.

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Beauty products—I love make-up. Wear it. Spend money on it. Can’t do without it. With all the different skin types, I won’t go into brands. Besides we don’t have all day. LOL I’ll tout two products I love: Eyelash curler—opens up the eye and makes the lashes look longer. Get a no-stick variety that doesn’t pull out your lashes. Highlighter pen—reflects the light and makes lines around the mouth and between the brows seem to disappear. Tip—apply under eyebrow arch to lift your eyes, your entire face. I could be in denial and it’s not a river in Egypt. LOL
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Cleaning Products—I like anything that makes cleaning easier. I’m allergic and sensitive to fragrance so I want effective and odorless products. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser—this guy is my hero. Easy on the hands and like every great hero does what he promises. Swiffer dust mop: I dust the furniture with the Swiffer cloth then turn it over and attach it to the mop head and run it over our solid surface floors. It’s great at removing dust and hair but won’t pick up crumbs. Remove and toss in the trash. Couldn't be easier.

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I asked my husband to name his favorite thing. He said, "You." That man is hilarious. He was afraid this was a trick question. LOL Then he said, "Titleist Pro V1x golf balls." He claims they’re the only golf balls he's used that will stop on the green. These are expensive to smack around the course and lose so he asks for them for Christmas and birthdays. Vince and Mel, if you’re out there, please don’t hesitate to pop in and tell us your favorite guy things.

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I brought my breakfast favorites this morning—strong coffee, cheese blintzes with blueberry topping, apple fritters—crunchy on the outside, soft and sweet on the inside—and fresh fruit.

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Share your favorite thing/s for a chance to win an autographed copy of The Other Wife and The Substitute Bride. Two winners today! Notice the shoes!

Please remember to give your e-mail address in @ and dot form. Thanks!
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Blessings, Janet

www.janetdean.net

I'm on Facebook...Now What?

Janet here. Perhaps I’m one of the few who isn’t comfortable or savvy when it comes to social networking. I’m on Facebook and in a group of Love Inspired Historical authors at MySpace, but that doesn’t mean I have a clue what I’m doing. Figuring I couldn’t be the only one who might need a little help getting started, I cajoled Shirley Jump, my critique partner and Harlequin romance writer extraordinaire, to give us a barebones look at social networking.

Shirley not only agreed, she’s giving away a copy of A Princess for Christmas, her October 2 release. Leave a comment or share your experiences with social networking, good and bad. Don't forget to give your e-mail address.

With no further ado, here’s Shirley!

First, thank you to Janet for having me back at Seekerville! This is such a great group of writers and it’s always a pleasure to be here!


Today, I’m going to talk about social networking sites. I don’t purport to be an expert, by any stretch of the imagination, on any of this, but can tell you what I’ve done and/or has worked for me.






1. The number one most important thing you can do to promote your books and your brand is WRITE A GREAT BOOK. That’s the first and biggest piece of advice I have, and the one that a lot of people, I’ve found, tend to skip over. While promoting on different websites can help sales, honestly, the thing that really makes readers buy you over and over again isn’t how many Tweets you send, but what a wonderful reading experience they find when they open the pages of your book. Concentrate on the book, because that’s really the best expenditure of your efforts—if you have to choose where to spend a few precious hours each day.

2. Don’t try to be everywhere at once. There are SO many places “demanding” a presence, and new places springing up all the time. You can quickly find yourself spending hours and hours every week trying to balance your time between Facebook, Twitter, MySpace…and the list goes on and on. Never mind your own website and blog, if you have them.

3. Don’t make it all about promotion. These are called SOCIAL networking sites for a reason. People who sign on as your fan or “friend” are there because they want to learn more about you, and not just when your next booksigning is.

4. Be careful, though, not to tell TOO much. Use the privacy settings, and use some common sense, before posting something. These people are essentially strangers and you don’t want to be giving them so much information that they can track you down at home and ring your doorbell during dinner.

Facebook:

Facebook is a massive, growing community that is user-friendly, interactive and one of the easier of the social networking communities to use, IMO. You have two options here—a personal page, or a fan page. The personal page is great for connecting with friends and family you haven’t seen in a long time, and communicating your life’s events with them. A fan page is less interactive, and if you want the least amount of interaction, and less “work” to maintain your page, a fan page is probably the best way to go. The fan pages don’t get all those feeds from everyone who posts, and just basically are there to announce your news and interact with your fans.
Do you need both? IMO, it all depends, again, on how much time you want to spend on Facebook and what your ultimate goal is. You WILL get readers requesting to “friend” you on your personal page; it’s inevitable if your writing name is associated with your real name. You can choose to add them or send them straight to the fan page. In the beginning, I sent all fans to the fan page, then finally gave up because I was getting several requests a week, and just added fans to my personal page as friends. However if you do that, a few things to keep in mind:

1. Tailor your privacy settings. Go to Settings->Privacy->Profile and choose who can see what. I have my friends set into two groups—Friends and Family (which is close friends and my family) and Fans. F&F are allowed to see my address, for example, but Fans can’t. So when you are in your privacy settings and you click on “Personal Info”, you can choose Customize to say who sees what. I simply created the two groups and as I approve friend requests, I choose which group the new “friend” goes into, so they are automatically covered under the privacy rules I set up. To set up the groups, you can go to “All Connections,” and choose “Create New List,” and sort your friends list like that.

2. Be sure to check the privacy settings on photos, too. I keep photos of my kids to friends and family only. You can simply choose those options when you set up the photo album. Just make sure that as you post pictures, you load them to the correct albums, so that they maintain the privacy settings you’ve chosen.

3. Virtually anything you post or add onto Facebook can be customized like this. Just watch some of the things that automatically go on your wall. The wall is the main page of Facebook, the home page. It’s where everything is posted from your friends and from you. Sort of like if you were in middle school and everyone had a real wall to hang notes and photos on. A semi-public bulletin board. You can choose, also, under your privacy settings, who can read postings on your walls from your friends. I have mine set so that the ones from my close friends and family aren’t seen by fans. You just never know what family is going to say, LOL. If you don’t want your readers to know “The Ten Craziest Things You’ve Done” then just don’t take the quiz or answer the questionnaire.

Twitter:

Twitter, thanks to folks like Ashton Kutcher and Oprah, who have made Twitter into a household name, is becoming huge. It’s perfect for people who have little time and want to get quick messages out. Joining is free, and it requires little more input than sending the equivalent of a text message. “Tweets” are limited to 140 characters (which is where the similarity to a text message comes from) and are designed to be quick updates. A few tips on Twitter:

1. Don’t make all your Tweets about promo: When people “follow” you, which is sort of the friend concept of Twitter, they don’t want to read a ton of “yeah-me” posts. They want to hear the same kind of fun, quirky things you might post on Facebook. The “I found a great recipe for burgers” and the “just bought a new puppy” kinds of things are as interesting to fans as “my book is in stores today!”. So mix it up when posting your Tweets.

2. Be nice and reTweet. A reTweet (RT) is when you essentially forward someone else’s Tweet. Say your friend Joe posts a link to a great story on a website. You want to share it with your Twitter friends, so you RT his Tweet.

3. Be smart and conserve your energy. If you are already on Facebook, you can add in the Twitter application and do dual duty. Once it’s added in, you can choose it from the bottom left menu and then post a Tweet that is also your Facebook status—two birds, one stone.

4. Don’t feel compelled to respond to everything. These sites move fast, and you can waste hours and hours following other people, responding to their tweets…etc. Don’t feel the need to write back to everything.

5. Also, in that vein, don’t post a Tweet every five seconds or a Facebook status update every hour, for that matter. People really don’t want to hear EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY mundane detail of your life. Be judicious in how much you post.

MySpace, etc.:

There’s also MySpace, which lots of people are already on. I’ve found that fans in the MySpace world tend to stay in the MySpace world. They really want everything they want/seek to be on your MySpace page. They just don’t go surfing the web outside of that little microcosm of MySpace. Why, I don’t know. If you don’t have time to set up your own MySpace page (and don’t feel compelled to; always come back to Rule Number 1: the writing comes first), then join a group one. Like a group blog, this allows you to spend less time for the same return.
Making appearances at other places like the forums of Romantic Times, the boards at eHarlequin, the forums at CoffeeTime Romance, et. al., can also seem like a great use of your promotional time. And it can be…or it can be a huge time suck. You really have to look at how many hours you are spending on all these spaces and weigh that against the time you need to be investing in the book.

In the end, the book and the writing should always come first. This post is designed to give you a basics overview of social networking, and hopefully get you pointed in the right direction, should you want to add any of the above to your promotional efforts.

Shirley

Thanks, Shirley, for the detailed explanation on how to customize Facebook settings and all the social networking tips! I'm going to take a look at mine once I'm back from the ACFW conference.

I made blueberry pancakes. I’m serving them with crisp bacon, warm syrup and whipped-cream smiley faces. That’s how happy I am to have Shirley in Seekerville this Monday morning!

SHOW NOT TELL, Part Two by Shirley Jump

Janet here. Shirley Jump, my dear friend and critique partner, is here today to give us SHOW NOT TELL Part Two. Here's a chance to get some great tips and to pick Shirley's brain.

Part Two: TIPS FOR SHOWING NOT TELLING

In my last blog post, I talked about Showing, Not Telling, in general terms. I gave some tips, but mainly explained the concepts and talked about the struggles SO many writers have with that concept. I have, my friends have, maybe you have. It seems to be one of those universal problems that stymie even the best of us. Over the past 30-odd books I’ve written, I’ve developed a few hints and tricks that work for me, and I hope they’ll work for you, too!

Here’s a list of quick tips to keep in mind that should help you show, not tell:

1. Use specific details. The best are ones that are really specific. Is the car a Toyota or a Volkswagen? Is it cherry-red or apple-red? Does the man sit in a La-Z-Boy or a Barcalounger? Brand names help the reader identify with things better, too. Also, the more concrete your details are, the more your reader can get a visual picture. One way to do this is to take a simple sentence and increase it with details by adding to it (example from http://www.uoflife.com/wc/creative/concrete.htm):

• My lawn was covered with leaves.
• Leaves blew through my yard and piled up against the shrubs and fence.
• A cold autumn breeze blew leaves through my yard. I stared out the window and watched them pile up against the sparse shrubs and worn out fence.
• A cold autumn breeze blew leaves through my yard. Summer had ended and I would be the last one to leave the cabin. I sat alone, holding a mug of hot chocolate without drinking, and stared out the back window, watching the red, gold, and brown leaves pile up violently against the sparse shrubs and worn out fence. I had long since given up caring about anything.
  

2. Use sensory images: Add in all five senses. If you’re describing a beach, don’t just talk about the heat or the color of the sand; add in the smell of Coppertone, the feel of the sand beneath your toes, the sound of the seagulls, etc. The more you can create a world for your reader by adding sensory details, the more she’ll be drawn into your writing.

3. Use good comparisons for your metaphors - not clichés. Metaphors can be a great way to show (Ex: No wonder the dog barked all the time. She had all the courage of a ninety-pound knight about to undertake his first jousting match. From KISSED BY CAT by Shirley Jump, February 2005). But you want to be unique. You don’t want to compare your things to the same tired old things that everyone else has used. When in doubt, use Shirley’s Rule of Six (which is a whole other workshop in and of itself. If you want more on that, I have an online YahooGroup, called Just Write It, and we do workshops there).

4. Vary Your Sentence Structure. Go back to the example with the bedroom and see how a varied sentence structure can keep the reader on her toes, paying attention to the writing. It’s also a great tool to use when you want to show suspense or fear (use shorter sentences) or draw out suspense (use longer sentences). Or emphasize a point with a sentence set out by itself (check the example below for how varied sentence lengths can show the character hurrying, show her reaction, show the action in the scene).

Example: From The Dress, by Shirley Jump, in Christmas Weddings, October 2008
“Damn!” Marietta broke into a run, the dress banging against her back as she wove in and out among the crowds, negotiating her way through the milling passengers and down the long, long concourse toward gate C-31.
She narrowly missed a collision with an elderly man in a Santa hat and green plaid shirt pushing a wheelchair carrying a woman wearing a matching hat. A mother in a snowman decorated skirt pushing a stroller, followed by three little girls, all in coordinated snowflake jumpers. A man taking a picture of the decorations at a fast food restaurant--why, Marietta didn’t pause to think. A janitor cleaning up a spilled coffee, humming a Christmas song as he mopped.
And then, finally, she spied the signs for Gate C-29, Gate C-30--
Reed Hartstone.
It took a second for her brain to process his image, her mind cartwheeling through the flurry of activity around her, trying to fit this anomaly in, as if playing “What doesn’t belong?”--
A father lecturing a son about running too far ahead. A weary pregnant woman collapsing into the nearest seat. An overstuffed carry-on bag exploding, revealing an embarrassment of red and white lingerie in the middle of the aisle--
And still, Reed Hartstone.
Reed? Here? Now?
Why?
Her attention on him, not on where she was going, Marietta stumbled, her foot caught on the corner of a suitcase left in the aisle. She felt her weight twist on one ankle, while the rest of her was still trying to move in the opposite direction.
Her leg crumpled, a quick, sharp pain shooting up from one high-heeled boot all the way to her thigh and she winced, gasped, then straightened, still half-sure she was seeing things. “Reed?”
“Marietta?”
In the space of a breath, her mind processed every inch of him. Six feet two, short dark brown hair, deep blue eyes so dark they were almost black, a lean figure with broad shoulders, the kind a woman could lean on when she needed to, but also the kind that stayed in her line of sight long after the rest of him walked away. Her gut tightened--damn, still she reacted to him, all these years later--and she reminded herself there was a very good reason they were no longer together. “What are you doing here?”
A grin as familiar as the beat of her own heart curved across his face. “I could say the same as you. But let me guess. Still globe-trotting. Making your fortune or--“
And then his gaze caught the garment bag over her shoulder, the bride pictured on the front, the bit of white embroidered satin still sticking out of the open zipper, the part that she hadn’t managed to fit back in, in her rush to get away from the nosy guard and on her way again. She glanced at it, about to explain, when Reed beat her to the punch and added two and two. “--or getting married.”

5. Use specific actions to make your point. Don’t say things like “he had a reputation for driving like a maniac” -- show him driving like a maniac. Let us see him doing those things. Or, you can have other characters talk about him, too. Dialogue can be a great showing tool.

6. Use dialogue as a showing tool (duh! You knew that one was coming). Dialogue is wonderful for bringing out information. Don’t do the recap kind of dialogue “oh, don’t you remember, she’s your real mother because your sister had an affair with your father and then we all passed you off like a sibling” kind of thing. That’s information the other character would already know. However, you can do something like:

“I hate Julia.”
“She did the best she could,” Kenny said. “What choice did you expect her to make at fifteen?”
“A different one than pretending I was her sister, for God’s sake. All this time, I’ve grown up thinking I’m somebody else’s daughter.” Anne slammed the refrigerator door shut. Inside, the mayonnaise shuddered against the salad dressing. “If she was old enough to have a kid, she was old enough to admit the truth.”
Kenny shoved his sandwich away, as if the bologna no longer interested him. “This family is really good at secrets. If there was a Guinness record for the most lies ever told, we’d have it.” He sighed, then met her gaze. “Your father really is your father.”

(Now, look at this example and analyze what the dialogue SHOWS about the characters. How does it SHOW the sexual tension? SHOW the hidden secrets? SHOW the conflict? SHOW the bit of backstory that Allie is hiding?)

From Really Something by Shirley Jump, December 2007:

“Did you give a bad forecast and now everyone hates you? Nicolas Cage already made that movie, you know.”
Duncan glanced toward the house, then back at her. “Something like that.” He paused a moment, then released the spade. Set deep in the dirt, it stayed upright. “I’ve had a hell of a day and I’d like to end it on a nice note. Would you like to go to dinner? You and me. No strings.”
She considered him. Considered playing with fire a second time. “Will you let me plead my case about your property?”
“Only if you let me plead my case about kissing you again.”
One corner of her mouth turned up. Traitorous hormones, staging a mutiny. He was the enemy. To her family, her goals. But every time she tried to remember that—
Well, she forgot.
Was that Coppertone she smelled, too?
Work. Concentrate on work. She’d get the job done, then leave Duncan in the Tempest dust.
“Dinner?” Duncan asked again. He grinned at her, and she lost the battle with sound reasoning.

7. Don’t pad it too much. Don’t overwhelm the reader with description either. You’re not writing a travelogue, you’re writing a story. Add enough details to give them a picture, then move on to the meat of your story. If you have several paragraphs in a row of description, chances are you’ve gone overboard. Try to work the description in with the dialogue and action instead so you can maintain your pacing and reader interest.

8. Don’t be afraid of telling sometimes, too. A mix of both showing and telling is a good idea. You don’t have to show every single thing in your book. Sometimes, a quick telling helps get through a slow part or provides a quick recap. The goal is to make the MAJORITY of your writing vivid and strong (i.e., showing) and keep the telling to a minimum.

Show…don’t tell…and you’ll power-up your story! And for extra credit, you can go back to those above examples and look for touches of all eight tips in those passages ;-).

Shirley