Janet here. April is a crazy month for me so I updated
my 2009 post on writing emotion. If you’re writing and want inspiration or
insight into craft, don’t overlook the wealth of information in the Seekerville archives.
In order to sell or keep selling books, writers must make readers care about their characters and become emotionally invested in their lives. To create tension our characters need strong internal and external goals, strong believable motivations and strong internal, external conflict.
No matter how well we do all this, our books
will disappoint if the story doesn't produce strong emotion in our readers. As Vince said in his Seekerville post "What Mega-Selling Authors Know That You Could Use to Boost Sales"—“Fans read romances to satisfy emotional
needs that when neglected become cravings.”
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| If you don't feel emotion, your readers won't. |
Thankfully we can use craft tools to help produce
emotion in readers and take our novels to the next level—engaging readers,
satisfying that craving Vince spoke about, while taking the book to SOLD.
1. GIVE YOUR CHARACTERS PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO BUILD EMOTION IN THE READER: Margie Lawson in her “Empowering Characters’ Emotions” class recommends giving characters strong physical reactions that show how characters feel, instead of using the easy way out and telling readers. To avoid overused or clichéd
From my debut novel, Courting Miss Adelaide, Love
Inspired Historical:
“He tried to lift his foot, to climb the steps leading into the house of worship, but he couldn't move. Sweat beaded his forehead and the lump swelled in his throat until he felt he’d suffocate. He bent over and dragged oxygen into his lungs.
1. GIVE YOUR CHARACTERS PHYSICAL REACTIONS TO BUILD EMOTION IN THE READER: Margie Lawson in her “Empowering Characters’ Emotions” class recommends giving characters strong physical reactions that show how characters feel, instead of using the easy way out and telling readers. To avoid overused or clichéd
“He tried to lift his foot, to climb the steps leading into the house of worship, but he couldn't move. Sweat beaded his forehead and the lump swelled in his throat until he felt he’d suffocate. He bent over and dragged oxygen into his lungs.
A cloud passed between him and the sun, covering
him in shadow. A sudden chill streaked down his spine. He couldn't move. Couldn't pray, couldn't worship.
Too much stood between him and God.”
In the excerpt above, I used physical reactions to show the character’s struggle with attending church. Hopefully this is an emotional scene for readers who know Charles’s churchgoing father was abusive and his childhood prayers for God’s help seemed to go unanswered, destroying his faith.
In the excerpt above, I used physical reactions to show the character’s struggle with attending church. Hopefully this is an emotional scene for readers who know Charles’s churchgoing father was abusive and his childhood prayers for God’s help seemed to go unanswered, destroying his faith.
Note: I also varied sentence structure, repeated
words, and put the last sentence by itself for emphasis. Margie Lawson teaches that the words we use and how we put those words on the
page helps build emotion.
2. ADD SPECIFIC DETAILS TO BUILD EMOTION IN THE READER: Specific details—descriptions, senses, memories—bring characters alive. Don’t give readers some vague, colorless version of a person. Characters are shaped by their pasts, by their environment, by how they are or were treated. You can build any emotion by using details that reveal how the character sees his world.
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
“She’d been eight, when her mother, sick with influenza, sent Adelaide to stay with Winifred Cook’s family. Disorder reigned in the Cook household, but Winnie’s parents tucked the children into bed with a prayer and a kiss. What a revelation to discover not all children lived in a neat but silent house.
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| Make readers laugh |
2. ADD SPECIFIC DETAILS TO BUILD EMOTION IN THE READER: Specific details—descriptions, senses, memories—bring characters alive. Don’t give readers some vague, colorless version of a person. Characters are shaped by their pasts, by their environment, by how they are or were treated. You can build any emotion by using details that reveal how the character sees his world.
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
“She’d been eight, when her mother, sick with influenza, sent Adelaide to stay with Winifred Cook’s family. Disorder reigned in the Cook household, but Winnie’s parents tucked the children into bed with a prayer and a kiss. What a revelation to discover not all children lived in a neat but silent house.
For weeks after returning home, Adelaide’s skin ached to be touched.
She’d tried to keep the warm feeling by stroking her arms and hugging herself, but it hadn't been the same.”
I could have had Adelaide just think or say that her mother never touched or rarely talked to her. Instead I used details from her past to let readers see the emotional deprivation of her childhood.
3. USE INTROSPECTION TO TUG AT READERS’ EMOTIONS:
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
“Adelaide stepped inside, but didn't dust the counter, didn't wash the windowpane. Instead, she stood transfixed, watching Charles’s muscles as he pushed that broom like a madman.
For weeks after returning home, Adelaide’s skin ached to be touched.
She’d tried to keep the warm feeling by stroking her arms and hugging herself, but it hadn't been the same.”
I could have had Adelaide just think or say that her mother never touched or rarely talked to her. Instead I used details from her past to let readers see the emotional deprivation of her childhood.
3. USE INTROSPECTION TO TUG AT READERS’ EMOTIONS:
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
“Adelaide stepped inside, but didn't dust the counter, didn't wash the windowpane. Instead, she stood transfixed, watching Charles’s muscles as he pushed that broom like a madman.
A desirable, intelligent man cared enough about
her to worry, to take a burden from her shoulders.
Like a husband would.
The thought took her breath away, zinging hope
through her, hope for a husband, and hope for children. She shoved it down. She
had no claim to Charles, no need of a man. She took care of herself. And if God
willed, she could take care of a child, too.
But oh, for a moment, she wanted to believe in
the fantasy.”
I list what Adelaide didn't do to show her emotional state. I italicized
one thought, the stunning thought, for emphasis. Through her
introspection, readers see the core issues for Adelaide. When writers show how
the character feels with tight, strong lines, the reader understands and cares.
4. USE ACTIONS TO CONVEY EMOTION THAT TUGS AT READERS: Study movies or people watch to learn what actions convey which emotion. Check out Marilyn Kelly’s book, Eleven Senses, Who Knew? if you need help.
In this passage from Courting Miss Adelaide, Adelaide is talking to frightened seven-year-old Emma at the breakfast table:
““Tell me, honey, why?” Adelaide continued massaging Emma’s back, and waited, every muscle in her body as tense as the small ones under her fingers.
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| Make them cry |
4. USE ACTIONS TO CONVEY EMOTION THAT TUGS AT READERS: Study movies or people watch to learn what actions convey which emotion. Check out Marilyn Kelly’s book, Eleven Senses, Who Knew? if you need help.
In this passage from Courting Miss Adelaide, Adelaide is talking to frightened seven-year-old Emma at the breakfast table:
““Tell me, honey, why?” Adelaide continued massaging Emma’s back, and waited, every muscle in her body as tense as the small ones under her fingers.
Emma’s mouth tightened. She picked up her spoon
and began shoveling the oatmeal into her mouth, avoiding the question.”
I do a little telling here…avoiding the question…to show that Adelaide understands Emma is hiding something, adding to Adelaide’s alarm and motivating her next action in the story.
5. HEIGHTEN EMOTION THROUGH DIALOGUE: Use not only what the character says and how they say it, but also what the character doesn't say. Dialogue furthers the plot and develops characterization, but also is a great tool for an emotional read.
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
““I remember how the hair on my neck would rise, how my gut would knot.” Charles swallowed against the old familiar lump in his throat. “How I wanted to run, but knew running would only make it worse. It was the same for you, wasn’t it?”
I do a little telling here…avoiding the question…to show that Adelaide understands Emma is hiding something, adding to Adelaide’s alarm and motivating her next action in the story.
5. HEIGHTEN EMOTION THROUGH DIALOGUE: Use not only what the character says and how they say it, but also what the character doesn't say. Dialogue furthers the plot and develops characterization, but also is a great tool for an emotional read.
From Courting Miss Adelaide:
““I remember how the hair on my neck would rise, how my gut would knot.” Charles swallowed against the old familiar lump in his throat. “How I wanted to run, but knew running would only make it worse. It was the same for you, wasn’t it?”
Slowly, William nodded.
Charles lifted William’s chin with a palm. “I
want you to know something else.”
The boy’s tear-filled eyes, the color of the sea
on a cloudy day, met his.
“It wasn’t your doing. None of it was
your fault, William. You were never the reason for what was said or done. Never.””
This scene is pivotal for Charles and William’s healing from the childhood abuse they experienced and was emotional to write. If you’re unaffected by your scenes, dig deeper and use dialogue or one of the other tools, or all of them, to stir you and your readers.
6. USE SETTING TO INCREASE EMOTION: Setting can mirror or contrast the character’s mood. Setting can awaken or trigger memories characters doesn't want to face. Setting can build emotion in the reader.
From Courting the Doctor’s Daughter, Love Inspired Historical, May 2009:
This scene is pivotal for Charles and William’s healing from the childhood abuse they experienced and was emotional to write. If you’re unaffected by your scenes, dig deeper and use dialogue or one of the other tools, or all of them, to stir you and your readers.
6. USE SETTING TO INCREASE EMOTION: Setting can mirror or contrast the character’s mood. Setting can awaken or trigger memories characters doesn't want to face. Setting can build emotion in the reader.
From Courting the Doctor’s Daughter, Love Inspired Historical, May 2009:
“Luke trudged off, striding along the bank, putting distance
between him and Mary. A gentle breeze stirred in the scanty collection of
leaves still clinging to the trees, fighting their fate. A fate no one could
evade.
Along the water’s edge, a fat bullfrog croaked at his
approach, then leapt below the surface with a splash, as if unable to abide
Luke’s presence. Well, he could hardly abide it either.
Ahead, Doc and the boys gathered their gear. Luke hollered
an excuse about getting home, not stopping to look at their catch, all too
aware of the crestfallen faces watching him go.
Dusk had fallen, shrouding him in twilight. He walked on,
alone, the burden of his mistakes pressing against his lungs until he could
barely breathe.”
The way Luke sees his world reveals his sense of failure and
self hatred. Decide how your character feels, then use setting, introspection
and word choice to up emotion.
7. USE SYMBOLS TO HEIGHTEN EMOTION: Tangibles can stand for abstracts/intangibles
like a mood or an idea, and take on special significance. Symbols are probably already
in our stories. Emphasize them to add emotional depth.
From Courting the Doctor’s Daughter.
From Courting the Doctor’s Daughter.
“Turning to go, his gaze swept the enormous breakfront filled with medicine. Something stopped him, made him open the glass door. Finding what he sought, Luke clutched his remedy, then walked to the table, dropped into a chair and set the bottle in front of him. Doc had said the contents of this bottle mattered. Had been part of God’s plan.
Joseph’s suffering had led him to find this
medicine, to dedicate his life to healing. God had used this remedy to bring
Mary, Doc, and the boys into his life. The liquid caught the light from above,
glistened with a shimmer of gold. An unbroken bottle, unblemished, and shining
like a new start. Or so he saw it now.”
The remedy/medicine is a symbol I used throughout the book. I used it to create conflict and represent failure early on, but as Luke grows and changes, his remedy stands for hope, a new beginning.
USE ALL THESE TOOLS (ACTIONS, DETAILS, DIALOGUE, SETTING, INTROSPECTION, SYMBOLS AND PHYSICAL REACTIONS) TO HEIGHTEN EMOTION:
Look for these tools in this excerpt with Charles and Emma, a frightened young orphan, from Courting Miss Adelaide:
“Tears spilled over her pale lower lashes, becoming visible now that they were wet and spiky. If he didn't do something, she’d start bawling. The prospect sent him behind his desk. He jerked open the top drawer and rummaged through it until he found what he sought—a bag of peppermints.
The remedy/medicine is a symbol I used throughout the book. I used it to create conflict and represent failure early on, but as Luke grows and changes, his remedy stands for hope, a new beginning.
USE ALL THESE TOOLS (ACTIONS, DETAILS, DIALOGUE, SETTING, INTROSPECTION, SYMBOLS AND PHYSICAL REACTIONS) TO HEIGHTEN EMOTION:
Look for these tools in this excerpt with Charles and Emma, a frightened young orphan, from Courting Miss Adelaide:
“Tears spilled over her pale lower lashes, becoming visible now that they were wet and spiky. If he didn't do something, she’d start bawling. The prospect sent him behind his desk. He jerked open the top drawer and rummaged through it until he found what he sought—a bag of peppermints.
“When I was a youngster,” he began, “on my way
home from school, I’d pass Mrs. Wagner’s house. She’d be rocking on her porch,
wearing a gray tattered sweater, no matter how hot the day...”
Emma stopped crying, but looked far from
cheerful.
“She’d call me up on the porch, ask if I was
studying and behaving. Then, she’d reach into the pocket of her sweater and
pull out a peppermint.”
Charles took a candy from the bag. Emma’s eyes
widened. “She’d say, ‘You’re a smart boy, Charles. Work hard and one day you’ll
make something of yourself.’ And, she’d drop the candy into my palm—like this.”
He opened Emma’s small hand and let a peppermint
fall into her palm. When the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile, a
peculiar feeling shot through him. As it had for him all those years ago, the
candy once again worked wonders.
His entire adult life, he’d kept a stash of
peppermints around, to remind him of Mrs. Wagner, the one person who had
believed in him, who’d given him a desire to improve his lot. The candy still
tasted as sweet as her words.”
Charles's dialogue and introspection reveal the significance of peppermints, for him the symbol of hope, and the reminder of the one person who believed in him. The details of this memory and Charles’s compassion for this frightened little girl touched me, the writer, and hopefully touches the reader.
When readers—and editors—are given an emotional read, they can’t toss the book aside. Look for passages in your WIP that reveal how the character feels. If you want to increase the emotion, try using one or all seven of these tools.
I brought apple fritters and fruit to jump start our day. Lunch is a trio of chicken, tuna and ham salad. Perhaps Patti Jo will bring peach pie for dessert.
Charles's dialogue and introspection reveal the significance of peppermints, for him the symbol of hope, and the reminder of the one person who believed in him. The details of this memory and Charles’s compassion for this frightened little girl touched me, the writer, and hopefully touches the reader.
When readers—and editors—are given an emotional read, they can’t toss the book aside. Look for passages in your WIP that reveal how the character feels. If you want to increase the emotion, try using one or all seven of these tools.
I brought apple fritters and fruit to jump start our day. Lunch is a trio of chicken, tuna and ham salad. Perhaps Patti Jo will bring peach pie for dessert.
Share a symbol from a story you’re read or
written and what it represented for a chance to win With This Kiss contemporary and historical novella collections.
