Making Every Scene Count

with guest Karen Barnett.


“I couldn’t put it down.”
“I read all night.”  
“I felt like I was right there!” 
“I didn’t want it to end.”  

Aren’t these the type of praises we most want to hear from readers? Most authors know the key to getting a reader hooked is a killer first line. But no matter how gripping the opener is, if the rest of your story sags, no one will continue reading for long. So, how do you keep them engaged and turning pages from the opening hook until the sigh-worthy final line?  

By making every chapter—even every individual scene—count.  

Sounds simple, right? Novelist Elmore Leonard is attributed with saying, “Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.” There’s so much more, though. It’s about creating scenes that draw readers in so thoroughly they wouldn’t dare skip a line.  

Here are some of my favorite techniques to make sure every scene counts. When you are revising a chapter, comb through your pages and check for each of these five points: grounding, sensory detail, character voice, dynamic verbs, and deep point of view (DPOV). I’ll show you some examples of each point by using quotes from some of my favorite authors, plus selections from my new novel, The Road to Paradise.  

Grounding — Have you ever started reading a scene and felt completely lost? Where am I? Who’s speaking? The first line or two should pull the reader into the moment and leave no lingering doubts in their mind. If it takes more than a few lines to establish these facts, they’ll feel disoriented and will probably put the book down.  

• Whose head are we in? (Point of view).
• Where are we?
• What’s happening? Or, what is the character feeling?

Here are a few scene openings that waste no time answering those questions. 

• “Pulse racing, Rebekah pressed farther into the shadows in the corner behind the wardrobe, still able to see Mr. Whitcomb’s silhouette in the hallway.” A Note Yet Unsung, Tamera Alexander. (Who: Rebekah. Where: behind the wardrobe. Action/Mood: Hiding and/or spying.)

• “The creek beckoned Jonas. Quiet and stillness would calm his anxious soul.” Road to Harmony, Sherry Kyle. (Who: Jonas. Where: Outside by the creek. Action/Mood: Anxious)

• “Ford entered the cavernous lobby of the Paradise Inn, the room’s warmth gripping him like a bear hug.” The Road to Paradise, Karen Barnett. (Who: Ford. Where: Paradise Inn. Action/Mood: Comforting.) 

Sensory Detail — To make the reader feel as if they’re inside the character’s skin, add rich sensory detail. Focus on the five senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.   

• "The claws scrabbled through the cabin, pausing every few seconds. The more she tried to ignore the disturbance, the harder her ears labored to locate its position." The Road to Paradise, Karen Barnett. Sense: hearing.

• "That evening, Tess opened the door to Robillard’s Bakery and inhaled the aroma of fresh-baked bread and purpose.” When Tides Turn, Sarah Sundin. Sense: smell.

• "Their sly glances and the subtle brush of their elbows kept them both distracted by something infinitely sweeter than the bitterness rising at the back of her throat." (On Love's Gentle Shore, Liz Johnson. Sense: sight, touch, AND taste!

Character Voice — When your character speaks or thinks, it should be distinctive. The metaphors they use, the language choices, the grammar, the way they view the world—it's all a reflection of who they are. When you read through your writing, look for changes you can make to cause your character to stand out. 

In The Road to Paradise—as in many romances—the two leads begin as opposites. Ford is a gruff park ranger, raised in a masculine world of trees and hard work. Margie's a highly-educated Senator's daughter who is nature-obsessed and resorts to poetry and quotations to express herself. These traits become obvious in their word choices and dialogue...sometimes even when they're using the same word.  

• Ford’s POV: "'You assumed wrong. A person—a man—has to earn the right to that title. We don't just hand out . . .' Ford caught himself, Harry's warnings still ringing in his ears. 'You're not a ranger. Just a naturalist. And here on trial, at that." 

• [A moment later, after a scene change, we're in Margie's POV]. "'A naturalist.' The word coursed out from her heart to her fingertips, like a flower unfurling in the morning light. She clutched the small leather bag containing her journal to her chest. She couldn't wait to record the days' events on its crisp pages. The first thing she'd do would be to inscribe her name on the inside cover. Margaret Lane, Naturalist.” 

Can you hear the distinctiveness in each character's voice? It should practically leap off the page. Kind of like the difference between Pooh Bear and Eeyore in the A.A. Milne classic, Winnie-the-Pooh: 

    "Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh. 
    "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he. 
    "Why, what's the matter?" 
    "Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it.” 


Choose Dynamic Verbs —You might have heard that passive verbs slow the action, but to make your scene shine, choose verbs with an extra punch. 

• “A sharp knock at the door jarred an already fractured moment.” A Note Yet Unsung, Tamera Alexander. “Interrupted” would have worked, but how much better is “jarred?” 

• “Crossing an ankle over his knee to untie his boot, he yanked on the lace until the bow morphed into an angry knot. His blunt, calloused fingertips fumbled against it, only managing to bumble it more. Hopping on one foot, he thudded a shoulder against the whitewashed board wall and bounced against the cement basin.” On Love’s Gentle Shore, Liz Johnson. These well-chosen verbs made me feel like I was hopping around on one foot right alongside the character. 

    

Deepen Your POV— Not only should each scene be taking place from a specific character's point of view, you should be so deep inside a character's skin that you experience their emotions as if they're your own. Here are a few techniques you can use to accomplish that.  

• Avoid words/phrases that distance us from the character by telling the reader what is happening rather than letting us experience it, such as the following:

- he thought- she wondered- he saw -she guessed- he considered 

• Try not to use emotion words that tell the reader how the character feels instead of showing them: joy, shame, happiness, anger, rage, despair, sadness, etc. 

Replace those words and phrases with ones that pull your reader into your character’s head.  

• Internal thoughts or monologue (Warning: don’t overdo this.)

- “Candy, wait —” I tried to take a deep breath, but my lungs felt heavy. I can do this. I need to. For Elinore." The Girl Who Could See, Kara Swanson. 

- “I believe one former customer referred to me as a ‘termagant,’ which if memory served me was actually code for ‘someone who will insist on people keeping their hands out of the loose-leaf tea jars, thank you very much.’” Jane of Austin, Hillary Manton Lodge. [Also a great example of character voice, isn’t it?] 

•   Physical (gut) reactions to action or dialogue

-"A smile spread across her face, and I felt a tightness in my chest." Jane of Austin, Hillary Manton Lodge.  

-“When Lars helped Elena into the carriage, heat flooded Jonas’s face and his hands clenched tight.” Road to Harmony, Sherry Kyle. 

- “Margie pressed fingers against her temples, the tension gathering like storm clouds.” The Road to Paradise, Karen Barnett

Back in my college days, I took a class on story telling from the great author, Walter Wangerin Jr. I still remember him talking about creating special tales to relieve his daughter’s bedtime fears. In class, he said something I’ll never forget.  

"While you are telling the tale, the child actually dwells within the story."  

That’s a big responsibility, isn’t it? If you have done your job well—through grounding, sensory detail, character voice, dynamic verbs and deep POV—then the person holding your novel isn’t just reading, they are living within the pages. Everything else fades.  

That’s when you’ll receive the treasured words every writer dreams of hearing: "I didn’t want this story to end." 

 Are there any books on your keeper shelf that fill this criteria?

Leave a comment today for an opportunity to win a print copy of The Road to Paradise: A Vintage National Parks Novel. Winner announced in the Weekend Edition.

 The Road to Paradise: A Vintage National Parks Novel

An ideal sanctuary and a dream come true–that’s what Margaret Lane feels as she takes in God’s gorgeous handiwork in Mount Rainier National Park. It’s 1927 and the National Park Service is in its youth when Margie, an avid naturalist, lands a coveted position alongside the park rangers living and working in the unrivaled splendor of Mount Rainier’s long shadow. 

But Chief Ranger Ford Brayden is still haunted by his father’s death on the mountain, and the ranger takes his work managing the park and its crowd of visitors seriously. The job of watching over an idealistic senator’s daughter with few practical survival skills seems a waste of resources.

When Margie’s former fiancé sets his mind on developing the Paradise Inn and its surroundings into a tourist playground, the plans might put more than the park’s pristine beauty in danger. What will Margie and Ford sacrifice to preserve the splendor and simplicity of the wilderness they both love?

KAREN BARNETT is an award winning author of five novels who draws on her firsthand experience as a naturalist, former park ranger, and outdoor educator to transport readers to America’s national parks. She lives in Oregon with her husband, two kids, and three mischievous dachshunds. Beyond writing, she enjoys photography, hiking, decorating bizarre birthday cakes, and dragging her teenagers through boring history museums. 

Sign up for Karen's newsletter here. 





Karen Barnett’s vintage national parks novels bring to vivid life President Theodore Roosevelt’s vision for protected lands, when he wrote in Outdoor Pastimes of an American Hunter: "There can be nothing in the world more beautiful than the Yosemite, the groves of the giant sequoias and redwoods, the Canyon of the Colorado, the Canyon of the Yellowstone, the Three Tetons; and our people should see to it that they are preserved for their children and their children's children forever, with their majestic beauty all unmarred.

It’s All in the Details: Make Your Scenes Come Alive

Hi, everyone! I’m Candice Sue Patterson, and I write contemporary romance for Pelican Book Group. One thing that can be said about me is that I’m a detail-oriented writer. When I read, I want to be sucked into the scene—feel the sea spray on my face, taste the warm, tangy butter of the grilled lobster the hero is indulging. I want to connect with the characters. I want to laugh, cry, and fume along with them. Since I may never get the opportunity to travel the world, I also want to become a temporary resident of the setting—if only in my mind.

These things are vital to me when reading a novel. They capture my attention by creating a mini-movie in my brain. Am I weird? Probably. ;)

As a writer, I’m always careful to utilize these tools to create cinematic magic in my reader’s heads too. Today, let’s explore how to enhance your scenes during the revision/editing process by adding rich details using all five senses, choosing calculated words to convey a mood, getting deep into the hearts and minds of your characters, and creating a setting that sticks with your readers. 


We’ll start with the five senses. We all know them: taste, touch, smell, sight, and sound. Why are they important to a manuscript? Pavlov and his salivating dogs. Our senses are attached to our psyche. As we go throughout our day, we use these senses—usually without conscious thought—and they play a large part in how we respond to the world around us. Same for your characters. 

For example, your heroine walks into a coffee shop. One of the first things she would notice—even before fully stepping indoors—is the aroma. Smell. Rich, bold, made to order. Perhaps the peppermint flavoring draws her attention and coaxes her to stray from her normal dark roast. After all, today is the day she emerges from the comfortable box she’s built around herself and proposes her revolutionary idea to her boss, who, of course, will promote her to partner. Or maybe the smell of peppermint reminds her of Christmas, the season her twin sister was tragically killed in a car accident, and it causes her to lose her appetite for caffeine altogether, decides her boss is going to hate her idea, and leave. 

The next thing she would notice immediately is the number of customers, especially the ones in line ahead of her. Sight. If she’s in a hurry that number could affect her stress level, especially if she’s running late for said meeting, which may or may not cause her to be terse with the handsome stranger (aka future husband) in front of her who’s taking forever deciding what to order. If time is on her side today, however, she might take stepping out of that box a bit further and flirt with the handsome stranger. 

What about sound? The low hum of chatter, the whoosh of an expresso machine, 90s soft rock playing at a low decibel, the hustle of baristas filling orders. If your heroine is at the shop for caffeine and creativity, and perhaps a little match-making, she’s in the right place. But maybe her sister’s favorite Bryan Adams love song, along with the peppermint, becomes too much to bear on such an important day and, in the middle of her eyelash batting at the stranger, she grabs her filled order and flees the shop in tears. 

As she steps back onto the busy sidewalk, hand wrapped around her paper cup, her thoughts reel, and she steps aside for a few deep breaths. The warmth of the liquid seeps into her hand, calming her enough to refocus on the importance of this day. If her boss accepts the proposal, a new foundation will be created in her sister’s honor to help families of drunk driving victims. Perhaps the handsome stranger follows her out and introduces himself. She takes his offered hand, and the enticing combination of callouses and soft skin sends a bolt of attraction up her arm. Touch. It just so happens they’re heading in the same direction and agree to walk together. 

A block away, they pause at the flashing hand telling them not to cross the street, and she sips her peppermint coffee. It glides down her throat and invigorates her senses. Once again, she’s confident and in control. Until they reach her building and they decide to swap numbers. Her thumbs pause over her cell phone when the stranger reveals his last name. As recognition dawns, the peppermint turns rancid on her tongue. Taste. The handsome stranger is the drunk driver who killed her sister—convicted, served, and in desperate need of forgiveness. 

See how the senses are connected with our actions? Including such details will bring a richness to your scenes your readers can identify with. 

Now, let’s talk setting. Every book has to have one. Your setting should make sense to the storyline, fit your characters, and portray the right cultures and customs. Transylvania wouldn’t be scary in the heart of Amish country, and the battle between Captain Ahab and Moby Dick wouldn’t be the same set in the Sahara Desert, so don’t drop your characters in settings that don’t make sense. 

Done right, your setting can become a character in itself. My novel How to Charm a Beekeeper’s Heart is set in a fictional town on Mt. Desert Island, Maine. I didn’t want to just tell my readers this by having the hero drive past a “Welcome to” sign on his way through town. By the time readers complete the novel, I want them to feel like they’ve visited there. 

Here’s a short description from a scene where the hero and heroine meet at a popular seafood shack built atop a peninsula to discuss the rental property debacle they’ve been thrown into. The heroine is most affected by the outcome, as it could leave her and her young daughter homeless. 

Foamy waves crashed against jagged boulders, churning the greenish water. The color reminded Arianne of the jade Depression glass her grandma used to display on shelves in the summer kitchen. She missed the security of those days, the sun’s warmth washing over her through the windows at sunrise, bouncing prisms of light off Grandma’s collections.

She paused for a moment to enjoy the scenery, and inhaled a deep breath to steady the orchestra of nerves playing a grand concerto in her stomach. The woodwinds carried the melody of anxiety, mingled with brass notes of nausea. Then the string section played the slow, mournful tune of what loomed in her future. It would be beautiful music, really if it wasn’t her life’s song. 

Earlier, I mentioned how words can convey a certain mood. That’s what I’ve done here along with describing the amazing view of the restaurant (continued throughout the scene). Allow me to dissect these sentences to show my technique. 

Foamy waves crashed against jagged boulders, churning the greenish water. 

Foamy gives the waves texture. Crashed gives the waves sound. Jagged gives the boulders dimension. Churning and greenish gives the water movement and color. That may not seem like much, but look at the sentence without some of those words. 

Waves crashed against boulders, churning the water. 

The picture isn’t as three-dimensional. The sentence, and thus the setting for this scene, wouldn’t come alive. And those details cause the heroine to reflect on a childhood memory, back to a simpler time in her life when decisions weren’t so complicated and she felt safe and loved. 

Now, let’s dissect the second paragraph. 

She paused for a moment to enjoy the scenery, and inhaled a deep breath to steady the orchestra of nerves playing a grand concerto in her stomach. The woodwinds carried the melody of anxiety, mingled with brass notes of nausea. Then the string section played the slow, mournful tune of what loomed in her future. It would be beautiful music, really if it wasn’t her life’s song.

We’ve all heard an orchestra. The musicians are skilled, on alert, and passionate during a performance. A grand concerto is a complex set of music with various tempos and tones. I used this analogy to describe her body’s physical reaction to fear.  You can see the depth of her emotions because you can relate to it. We’ve all heard the aforementioned instruments, and many of us have an appreciation for classically played music. Even the more somber sounding pieces. None of us, however, want those depressing notes to become our life’s soundtrack. 

With these two paragraphs, I’ve not only set the scene and mood, but I’ve also included three of the five senses. A writer should set up every scene right away so the reader can envision where the action is taking place. To help me achieve good setting descriptions, I continually immerse myself with pictures I’ve scoured from the internet or books and magazines. I use Scrivener to write my manuscripts, which gives the option of placing pictures on the sidebar when writing. Pinterest is another great source.  

Last but not least, let’s get into our characters’ psyche. Why is this important? There’s nothing more boring than reading underdeveloped characters. In real-life, we’re around people every day. It’s okay if we don’t know all their business. But in a novel, we need to be in their heads, feel what they feel, know what makes them tick. That takes psychology. 

It’s not enough to know the heroine abhors alcohol. We need to know why she abhors alcohol. When sketching your characters, ask why, and keep asking why until you can’t go any further. So, as I mentioned above, the heroine abhors alcohol. Why? She doesn’t like seeing the negative effects it has on those who drink it. Why? Growing up, her father drank every night when he’d come home from work. Why? Her father was a cop, and he relied on alcohol to cope with the things he did and saw in his job. When he drank, he ignored his daughters, whose mother had died, forcing the heroine to step into an adult role and raise her younger sister, thus stealing her childhood. 

Push your characters to their limits and use words, body language, and actions that stir the emotions you want to convey. In my novella, Silver White Winters, the heroine, a country music singer struggling to revamp her career after rehab, returns to her childhood home in West Virginia when she discovers her dad and brother are trapped in a coal mine collapse. Pay attention to the highlighted words as some of the miners are rescued. 


A woman screamed.

Bodies shifted into action.

Reporters and cameramen pushed their way to the main gate.

Raelynn grabbed Mama’s hand and followed.

The Hudson Mine rep walked toward the gate. Men trailed behind him, but they were too far away to recognize.

Sirens split the night. Red and blue lights flashed in the darkness. Three ambulances parted the crowd as they drove to the gate opened by uniformed guards.

Mama crushed Raelynn’s fingers in her own.

Paramedics left the vehicles and ran to the approaching group.

The crowd hushed.

Raelynn slapped a hand over her mouth as she spied the miner’s uniforms, sooty skin. 
She almost didn’t believe the scene, afraid it was a mirage.

“Daddy!”

Raelynn looked up at the little girl next to her, propped on a man’s shoulders. Tears 
streamed down the child’s face as she yelled the word over and over.

Raelynn’s body convulsed with sobs.

Claps and laughter erupted. People hugged one another.

Mama bounced up and down with girlish energy, nearly pulling Raelynn’s arm out of 
socket.

The first miner limped beside a gurney, wheeled by a female EMT. His face, flooded by halogen light from the flagpole made Raelynn’s heart soar. “Billy!” [her brother]

See how my verb and adjective choices show movement and emotion? This heroine is pushed to her limits later in this scene upon discovering who was responsible for the rescue. 

When attempting to get into your characters’ psyche, put yourself in their shoes. Pretend you’re the one in their situation. How would you react? What would you say in response? What body language would you have? Then ask, does that match this character’s backstory and personality? 

Nothing I’ve mentioned here today is revolutionary to the world of writing and not every author uses the same techniques. These are the ones that work for me. Thanks for letting me stop by and chat today! 



Now, let’s hear from you. What helps you ground your readers into the setting? How do you sneak into your characters’ psyche? How do you incorporate the five senses? 

Today Candice is generously giving away a print copy of How to Charm a Beekeeper's Heart to one commenter. And Seekerville is giving away an ecopy! Winners announced in the Weekend Edition.

Weddings are the last thing beekeeper Huck Anderson wants to be associated with, considering his past. So when he inherits a building occupied by a bridal boutique, he aims to evict the failing business and open a sporting goods store. That is until his tenant ends up being Arianne Winters, a woman he's indebted to from a mistake made years ago. When a life-threatening injury derails Huck entirely, Arianne offers a compromise to keep her boutique and her life out of bankruptcy-she'll aid in his lengthy recovery if he'll allow her to remain in his building. But nursing her adversary proves challenging when her adolescent crush resurfaces. Amidst a battle-of-wills, their lives intertwine in unexpected ways, providing opportunity to overcome their pasts and start anew. Will this confirmed bachelor consider holy-matrimony, or will Huck's choices sting them a second time?

~ Candice Sue Patterson studied at the Institute of Children’s Literature and is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers. She lives in Indiana with her husband and three sons in a restored farmhouse overtaken by books. Candice writes Modern Vintage Romance—where the past and present collide with faith. Her novel How to Charm a Beekeeper’s Heart was a 2012 ACFW First Impressions finalist and made INSPYs Longlist for 2016. For more on Candice, visit her website at www.candicesuepatterson.com.

Natural Ebb and Flow: What's Your Word Count?

with Seeker Pam Hillman.

Have you discovered the natural ebb and flow to your writing? Your rhythm? Your pacing? I’m not talking about the story you tell and how you tell it, but how long your scenes are. The mechanics, if you will.

Do you tend to write all your scenes the exact same length or do your scene lengths vary, coming in and out, long and short, like the tide?

I realized several years ago that I write 800 words between scene breaks. Don’t confuse a scene with a scene break. A scene break (SB) usually occurs when I change POV, not necessarily when I get to the end of a scene. It’s just how I plot. But that doesn’t mean that all my scenes are anywhere near 800 words. Some of them are far, far from that, ranging from 260 words to a whopping 1888 on my latest manuscript. I wondered if that was normal for all authors or not.

After reviewing several of my own manuscripts and getting feedback from some of my Seeker friends, I’ve come to the conclusion that varying scene length is the norm, and actually, a good thing. (Whew, glad to know I’m normal in at least one way!) But, honestly, I imagine most of you already knew that scenes varied greatly in the stories you write and those you read, yes?

But what I hope to share with you today might help you in the planning stages of your current novel…or the next one.

So, let’s get started!

If you’ve written two or three manuscripts, you probably have discovered your rhythm already. Being a spreadsheet junky, I already had my manuscripts logged in as words per scene and chapter. I knew going into my latest full-length manuscript, The Promise of Breeze Hill, that I write 800 word scene breaks (SBs). I knew the total word count needed to be about 90K. That comes out to about 112 scenes. This kind of information helps me plan where my major turning points will be.

The Promise of Breeze Hill

After I charted the scenes for The Promise, I wondered if my last full-length manuscript had a similar rhythm. So I charted Claiming Mariah, and sure enough, the average words per SBs in Claiming Mariah was 798.22 words. The Promise of Breeze Hill was 799.75 before the rewrite. Hard to believe that the word count between SBs was so close.

Claiming Mariah

So I wondered if other authors have similar rhythms? Even if they don’t chart their word count, if they’ve written very many books, they probably have figured out their rhythm. So, I went to the group I always go to when I have a question like this. My Seeker Sisters, of course.

Tina said that she tends to write two scenes per chapter for her category romance, with those chapters averaging 3500 words. Mary and Missy also said their chapters average about 3500 words. Depending on how many scenes they write per chapter, their SBs could occur every 900-1750 words or so. In spite of my spreadsheet tendencies, even my chapter lengths run the gamut of 1500 to 3500 words. Julie also mentioned that she’s writing shorter chapters these days, trying to keep her chapters to 2000 words.

Having the above information from these ladies was gold, but it didn’t tell me what I wanted to know. This only gave me averages. I wanted to see the ebb and flow of someone else’s work. Was I the only one whose charts looked like the tide rolling in and out? What really made me sit up and take notice was when fellow spreadsheet queen Myra Johnson send me some REAL LIVE DATA from two of her manuscripts. Remember up above that I mentioned that my average words between Scene Breaks (SBs) was 800 words and how knowing that helps me determine from the get-go how many scenes I need to plan on? It also helps during writing if I’m halfway through the manuscript and only have 30% of my words. I’m either not digging deep enough — or — let’s face it…. I’m not digging deep enough.

Well, turns out Myra’s average word count between SBs is right at 1050. (Myra, did you know that?) Myra sent me the word counts per scene for Castles in the Clouds and Rancher for the Holidays. Castles is a much longer book that Rancher, but regardless, Myra’s natural “rhythm” held true.

And, her charts look like a tide rolling in and out. Just like mine!

I.Am.Vindicated!

Castles in the Clouds by Myra Johnson

Rancher for the Holidays by Myra Johnson

Now, if you’ve read this far, and you’re frantically counting and comparing words in your manuscripts, DON’T.

Knowing your natural rhythm might be good for some, and others might not care at all. I like knowing that I need to shoot for 800 word scenes. And since I write in Scrivener, I can see at a glance which scenes are low on the word count. Even though I ended up with several scenes under my goal, I strive to up the word count on those to at least 600, but at some point, some of those scenes just felt done, you know? There wasn’t a single thing I felt I could add to them to make them better. They were short, to the point, and didn’t need “padding” just to make them longer. Sometimes, you just gotta say what you need to say, and get out of there.

And that might be MY cue to wrap this up. So, a few final thoughts and tips.

Don’t force yourself to write like someone else. Don’t take one of my charts or Myra’s charts and try to write scenes to that length. That’s a recipe for disaster.

Don’t force yourself to write long/short/long or short/short/long just because you read a piece about it here. Do what comes naturally to YOU. However, if somewhere along the way in your writing, you find that something isn’t quite right or the pacing seems off, then checking your scenes for ebb and flow might be the ticket to unlocking a tsunami of great writing.

If you’re new to writing, don’t take this as gospel. Don’t even try to grasp this technique or emulate it. Tuck it away and after you’ve organically written three or four manuscripts, then compare your own work against itself to see if you see a pattern starting to emerge. I didn’t have time to chart some of my earlier manuscripts that weren’t written in Scrivener, but I glanced over a few scenes and noticed that my scenes tended to be more uniform in my earlier completed manuscripts. I think that was my way of writing to the market and what I’d analyzed in my own reading more than to my own rhythm.

It’s also important to point out that in the charts above, there is usually one scene that stands out above all the rest. While I can’t speak for Myra’s work, I will tell you that in my own, those scenes are major turning points in the story — watershed moments, if you will. Those tend to write themselves.

And, finally, one other thought. I checked a couple of my novellas and my scenes average about 575 words between SBs. Mary also mentioned that her chapters and scenes tend to be shorter in novellas. So instinctively, our rhythm for novellas is different to our rhythm for book-length fiction. More than likely yours will be too.

Did I leave anything out? Did I confuse anyone? The floor is open for discussion! :)

If you know your natural rhythm for scene length, we’d love to hear it. And, if you know the range of your scenes, even better!

Leave a comment today to get your name entered for an Amazon gift card. Winner announced in the Weekend Edition!

CBA Bestselling author PAM HILLMAN was born and raised on a dairy farm in Mississippi and spent her teenage years perched on the seat of a tractor raking hay. In those days, her daddy couldn't afford two cab tractors with air conditioning and a radio, so Pam drove an Allis Chalmers 110. Even when her daddy asked her if she wanted to bale hay, she told him she didn't mind raking. Raking hay doesn't take much thought so Pam spent her time working on her tan and making up stories in her head. Now, that's the kind of life every girl should dream of. www.pamhillman.com

Common Errors in Scenes, Part 2

If you’re a writer, you might know all the component parts of a scene, but your scene can still go terribly wrong. Sometimes we don’t know why it isn’t working--yet we have to figure out how to fix it.

According to Jack M. Bickham in his Writer’s Digest Book, Scene & Structure, there are at least fourteen common errors writers can fall into when crafting scenes. And I’ve probably made them all. The good part is if you know the errors, you can easily correct them.

In my January blog I talked about the first seven errors. To review:
1. Too many people in the scene.
2. Circularity of argument.
3. Unwanted interruptions.
4. Getting off the track.
5. Inadvertent summary.
6. Loss of viewpoint.
7. Forgotten scene goal.
(This makes me sound very academic—which I’m not.)

Here are the rest of those pesky common errors:
8. Unmotivated opposition.
9. Illogical disagreement
These two are interrelated.
Why is your antagonist antagonistic? If he’s that way just because you need some conflict for the story to be interesting, you’re going to fall short. He can’t be mean just for the sake of being mean. In real life this might sometimes be true, but it won’t work in novels. It seems too convenience and not believable. Remember, coincidences happen in real life, but they’re frowned upon or worse in stories.

Your antagonist needs strong, believable motivation just like your hero. If your hero is chasing after someone to save him, a group of thugs who appear out of nowhere shouldn’t delay him or try to stop him. They should be sent by someone to thwart the hero and be part of the plot. You might think this unnecessary, but I’ll bet your editor wants everyone fortified with reasons for what they do, not acting randomly.

Make sure the arguments between the hero and the antagonist make sense and are based on the characters themselves and their backgrounds and relationship. Make sure the conflict has a real purpose.

10. Unfair odds.
As writers we try to make our antagonists strong and a real match for the hero. But if you make the antagonist too powerful, he’ll seem too formidable for our point of view character to overcome. The odds against the hero winning should be strong but not too impossible. The hero will look dumb if he charges full speed ahead right into a brick wall without any chance of winning.

If you want to pull off a David and Goliath make sure you have some trick up your sleeve so the outcome will seem reasonable. And don’t do it too often!

11. Overblown internalizations.
According to Jack Bickham this is where many unpublished romance novels fail. Not so much in published books because editors slash excessive internalizations—without remorse. So be careful of writing long paragraphs where you try too hard to define the exact emotional state of the viewpoint character. I think many of us find writing this is easier than developing conflict and putting our story people through the wringer.

12. Not enough at stake.
The scene goal should be important for both the viewpoint character and the antagonist. Insignificant goals lead to insignificant conflicts and a big yawn from the reader. It should also be important to the story as well as to the character. For example, a broken fingernail might be upsetting to the heroine, but probably not important to the story or to the reader. Of course you might devise a situation where a broken fingernail is important to the character and for an excellent reason--and therefore a worthy scene goal, but probably not.

13. Inadvertent red herrings.
They might confuse or mislead the reader because she’ll assume these clues will be developed further along in the plot. I’m guilty of this one. In my Love on a Dime manuscript I wrote with a plot mind and a short outline, but I allowed for ‘brainstorms’ to occur all along the way. I included them with the intent of developing them later. Some of these brilliant ideas died and I forgot about them or didn’t realize they were significant enough to delete. But my editor noticed. So I had to take them out or make them into something meaningful. In Love on Assignment I tried to be more careful.

Now when I come across wonderful story threads I include them, but in red so they’ll be easy to spot when I edit.

14. Phony, contrived disasters.
These often occur at the end of the scene and are meant to interest the reader in going on to the next chapter. An example—a doorbell rings at the end of the chapter. So you turn the page and discover it’s a vacuum cleaner salesman. It’s a cheap trick.
During revision examine every scene ending to make sure it grows out of the conflict and it’s not a one-in-a-million bit of bad luck.

The scene disaster should be logical and unanticipated. The unanticipated part is easy, but the logical part isn’t. Jack Bickham says that the more you work on this, the better you’ll get. We’ll see. I’m not there yet.

Do you find any of these common scene disasters harder to overcome than others? Which are your worst problems?

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Common Error in Scenes, Part 1

Just because you know the component parts of a scene, doesn’t mean they can’t go terribly wrong. Sometimes we know the scene isn’t working, but we don’t know why. So of course we can’t fix it.

According to Jack M. Bickham in his wonderful Writer’s Digest Book, Scene & Structure, there are at least fourteen common errors writers can fall into when crafting scenes. And I’ve probably made them all. The good part is if you know the errors, you can easily correct them.

1. Too many people in the scene.
Of course the most obvious fix is to take out some of the people! If possible leave only two characters. During a confrontation it’s best to have only two go head to head. More people than two can be a distraction, and split the focus of the reader.
If you absolutely must have others in a scene, then try to lead them to another part of the room, have them answer a phone call or make them as invisible as you can. The scene will be easier to write with just two people and it’ll be much more intense and dramatic. You won’t have to worry about a secondary character butting into the conversation. You won’t have to describe him etc. If necessary be rude and tell him to disappear. He can’t talk back to you since you’re the boss.

2. Circularity of argument.
If you’ve ever been around kids, this will ring a bell. “Did not!”—“Did so!”—“Did not!” These endless arguments never go anywhere. Ask any mother or kindergarten teacher. So how do you keep two characters from going around and around in a conflict over an important issue?

You can make sure the viewpoint character repeats his scene goal from time to time. Once you remind the reader where the focus of the argument is, you can argue about other, but related issues.

For example, if your hero is selling encyclopedias to a teacher, he might have to defend door-to-door salesmen in general or the fact that encyclopedias don’t really go out of date from year to year. This broadens the issue without letting it spin into a circle. Just make sure the reader doesn’t forget the central focus of the scene. And as the writer, make sure you don’t forget it either!

3. Unwanted interruptions.
Don’t let an unwanted phone call or a knock on the door interrupt the scene. Unless these interruptions play a direct and dramatic role in the development of the conflict, don’t let them happen. They can really frustrate the reader just when things are heating up and getting interesting.

4. Getting off the track.
Sometimes one or more side issues grab center stage in your scene and you wander off track. I’m guilty of this. But with my latest manuscript I’ve started to think through each scene before I start writing. I need more than a vague idea of where I’m going or I end up in the wrong place. So I write out my Goal, Motivation, Conflict and Disaster before I begin. It helps me clarify my ideas which can be kind of fuzzy. I hope I’ll have less rewriting to do with this information in front of me.

At the very least make sure you’ve stated your scene goal clearly and succinctly and refer to it as you’re writing your scene. Have your protagonist, or even the antagonist, repeat the goal so the reader won’t forget either.

5. Inadvertent summary.
Sometimes writers forget that the scene needs to be developed on a moment by moment, stimulus-response basis. If a scene is running too long or if the author wants to get to the good part quicker, the temptation is to summarize. Instead, start the scene closer to the argument or conflict and you’ll get to it sooner. Just don’t write the summarized part. I’m also guilty of this one.

6. Loss of viewpoint.
Remember you should restrict the viewpoint in any scene to one character. A few authors can get away with head hopping, but most of us can’t. I suggest you don’t even try. And why would you want to? A scene is much more effective if we’re seeing everything through one person’s perspective. You want your reader to identify with just one character per scene and that won’t happen as easily if you hop from head to head.

7. Forgotten scene goal.
This relates closely to getting off track. In this case not only the reader forgets the goal, but the character does as well. This is where the disaster doesn’t answer the scene question. For example:
Scene goal—Joe wants to convince Susan to marry him.
Disaster—Susan gets angry because Joe mentions Anne.
At the end of the scene we don’t know if Susan says yes, although in this case I doubt it. When you raise a scene question make sure you answer it. You may not notice your mistake, but your reader will become annoyed.

Next time I’ll tackle the rest of the common scene errors and how to fix them. Which errors do you tend to overlook when you’re writing?

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CRAFTING EFFECTIVE SCENES

by Winnie Griggs
The workhorse of a story is not words, or sentences or even paragraphs - but it is the scene. Because it is in a scene that we see the key element of any good story - namely relevant change.
It is the elements of both relevance and change that makes a scene a scene.

Today I’d like to discuss eight elements that I feel make up an effective scene:

As a set-up for this discussion, let’s imagine a scene where we have our heroine, Debbie Diva, who is newly divorced, and struggling with what impact that label of divorcée will have on her social standing. She’s been invited to a party hosted by a long time acquaintance and the scene opens when she arrives and parks her car.

1 In an effective scene - something happens
The ‘something’ doesn’t have to be remarkable - it can be as simple as a single activity or as complex as several dozen story beats rolled together.

For instance, in our scene with Debbie Diva, if the scene revolves around her fear of going out in public again, the ‘beats’ to this scene might stop with her making the decision to leave her car and walk up to the front door. The party itself may be transitioned over entirely since in this case it was her decision to actually join the party that was important to the story and to showing some aspect of her character.

On the other hand, if the thrust of the scene is to show how she handles being out among her friends, the scene could be composed of a number of beats - arriving at the party, a few awkward conversations, perhaps an overheard catty comment, catching the eye of an intriguing-looking gentleman, and the unexpected arrival of the ‘other woman’.


2. An effective scene should have a focus or goal
In other words, our character (s) will strive to achieve something. Note, the author needs to look at this on two very different levels:
One, is to view it from the character’s perspective - what does the character hope to accomplish during the course of this scene?
The second is the reader perspective. What do you as the author want the reader to come away from this scene with?
In our scene with Debbie Diva, the character’s goal might be to prove to herself that her social standing was not adversely affected by the divorce. The author’s goal for the reader, however, may be to deepen her understanding of some aspect of Debbie’s character, either a strength or a weakness.


3. An effective scene should elicit a reaction
A well crafted scene will evoke emotion of some sort, both in the characters on the page and in the reader. Note, these won’t necessarily be the same emotions.
Again, in our previous scene with Debbie Diva, depending on how the author plays it out, the reaction of our focal character could be one of mortification, determination, depression, irritation, or even victory.
On the other hand, the reaction of the reader might be one of sympathy, amusement or even annoyance. A good writer will choreograph her scene to tease the emotions she wants from both the characters and the readers.


4. An effective scene will have a story purpose
The whole crux of your scene’s reason for being is to move the story forward in some fashion. There are many different kinds of scenes - fight scenes, flashbacks, love scenes, opening scenes, turning points, climactic scenes - but no matter the type, a scene must have some effect on the focal character or overall storyline . Something necessary to the story as a whole must be contained within the scene to warrant its existence, otherwise it should be rewritten or ruthlessly cut. In order to pull its weight effectively your scene should Ideally perform at least two story functions - three or four would be better.


5. An effective scene should have structure
• As in a full-blown story, each scene must have a well defined beginning, middle and end. It’s a mini-story of sorts - there is an inciting incident, a series of actions or beats, and then a resolution that tells us we’ve extracted everything we can from this particular scene. However, with the exception of the final scenes, the scene resolution does leave some unanswered questions, some loose ends that nudge the reader into the subsequent scenes to try to find the answers.

6. A scene should show logical, believable progression
The scenes should flow one from the other, sculpting and shaping your story in an aesthetically satisfying way that is entertaining and relevant.
Since scenes are the building blocks of your story, they must be carefully placed and arranged with every other scene in order to construct a pleasing, functional whole. Each scene builds on the one that came before and leads to the next - enhancing, changing, or redirecting your through line in some way, either subtly or forcefully - always pushing inexorably forward to the story’s resolution.

CAUTION: Logical doesn’t mean predictable, but given what the reader knows about the characters and the situation, it must be a believable next step.


7. A scene should have a mood or attitude
This is the underlying emotion in your story. Is it comedic, solemn, dark, light? Are there underlying urges or desires that drive your characters? These will play into your scene in subtle or overt ways, coloring the actions and goals, informing the responses of both the characters and the reader. Again, using our scene with Debbie Diva at the party, even using the same action beats in the scene, they will play out very differently in a romantic comedy than they would in a romantic suspense or women’s fiction work

8. The final element an effective scene must have is the one I’ve mentioned before, the all-important element of change.
The change can be big or small, but you should be able to both identify it and see how it moves your storyline forward. This forward motion can come either through revelation or a relevant honing of character, world or plot. Debbie Diva, or her situation, must be different at the end of the scene than she/it was at the beginning.

Again, if something doesn’t change, then no matter how lyrical and elegantly crafted, no matter how invested you as a writer are in it, the scene must be ruthlessly deleted.


In closing let me say that the clearest test of a scene’s effectiveness is to use what Raymond Obstfeld, in his book “Crafting Scenes”, calls the so-what factor. When you finish reading over your scene, ask yourself “so what?” Is this scene necessary? If you remove it will it actually affect the outcome of the story ? Does it fit with the scene before and the one after? Did something change? Was it significant enough for its own scene or could the key points be folded in one of the neighboring scenes?

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Winnie Griggs
Small Towns, Big Hearts, Amazing Grace
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The Heart's Song, June 2010
The Proper Wife, March 2011
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