How Well Do You Pamper Your Inner Writer? The Unscientific Quiz.

Ruthy here, welcoming cute, spunky, adorable Golden Heart finalist Anne Barton. I had the pleasure of meeting Anne in person in Orlando and:

A. She didn't run screaming.

B. She didn't cry.

C. At no time whatsoever did she call the authorities to have me arrested.

Obviously we're destined to be BFF's. (Best Friends Forever for those of you who don't have text-savvy young people running around.)

So while we're sitting here NOT POUTING about not being in Indianapolis, let's redouble our efforts, be the best writers we can be and use the time we're NOT at a conference to discipline ourselves toward citius, altius, fortius. "Faster, Higher, Stronger."

Seekerville, I give you: Anne


Around this time of year, things can start to get a little hectic. The long, lazy days of summer are behind us, and everybody’s back to school or work. Conferences are coming up, and the deadline to enter the Golden Heart ® is looming. Authors are busy juggling proposals, revisions, copy edits, and promotion. And you know the stores will be putting out Christmas decorations any day now. Ack!




How well do you pamper your inner writer in the midst of all this stress? Take this little quiz and find out.




Eyes on your own paper, everybody . . .


1) You’ve been writing into the wee hours of the morning for several days in a row, and co-workers at the day job have commented on your bloodshot eyes. You even nodded off during a very important staff meeting regarding the future of casual Fridays. Clearly, you need:

A. More caffeine

B. Eye drops

C. To get a good night’s sleep

D. To quit your job


The correct answer is C. Caffeine is good, but too much can result in a nervous tic. (Trust me on this.) Eye drops can get the red out but are useless against the dark circles and zombie-like trance. Plus, sleep deprivation just isn’t good for your writing. (Trust me on this also.) If you answered D, you’re not taking this quiz seriously. Let’s buckle down, shall we?

2) You’ve been spending so much time inside at your computer that sunlight burns your eyes, and you can’t remember what sound birds make. It’s high time that you:


A. Googled “bird sound wav files”

B. Turned on the Discovery Channel

C. Went for a stroll outside

D. Took your laptop (or a notebook and pen) outside to write

I’ll accept either C or D. Some people may actually opt to jog or run outside. I’ve never been one to confuse exercise with pampering, but, hey, whatever works for you.


3) You’re in the middle of chapter 8, and all your inspiration has run out. How will you get the ideas flowing again?

A. Make a story collage (Jenny Crusie explains how and shares one of hers)

B. Read a romance, poetry, or Calvin and Hobbes

C. Watch a movie, a documentary, or an episode of Glee

D. Listen to music or recordings of RWA Conference workshops or speeches (like this one by Lisa Kleypas)



This was a freebie! Any and all of the above are correct. Whatever sparks ideas, helps you relax, or reminds you that there’s a world outside of your manuscript is good. Also, A is an excellent excuse to do Google searches for hero inspiration.

4) The hours you’ve been devoting to your story have left little time for real human contact. How will you reconnect with your husband/kids/friends?

A. Send out a Tweet

B. Poke them on Facebook

C. Write them a lengthy email with emoticons

D. Take everybody out for dinner. Order pizza, salad, and a nice bottle of Chianti.


It’s D, of course. Doesn’t that sound good?


5) You’ve been killing yourself to make a deadline, and . . . you did it! Now what?

A. Champagne and chocolate

B. A fun day trip with the family

C. A few days of cleaning the house and catching up on chores

D. Must dive right into the next project. That book isn’t going to write itself.


Please, please, please tell me you didn’t answer C. If you did, I’m sorry—it’s negative 1,000 points. The correct responses are A and B. D is admirable, in a Type A personality sort of way, but I do think you should take a little time to celebrate first.

6) Congratulations! You’ve won a weekend at a writer’s retreat. You’re headed to a cabin in the mountains that overlooks a tranquil lake. What is the ONE thing (besides your computer) that you MUST bring with you?

A. Your favorite research book

ruthy-pick...who needs pants when you
have these guys?

B. Your trusty thesaurus

C. Your DVD of The Hero’s 2 Journeys

D. Your writing pants


D. Writing pants, which look remarkably similar to pajama pants, are a writer’s best friend.


Alright, class, pencils down.



So, how do you think you did? If you read this far, guess what—you get an A+. YAY!




Time for recess! What are some other ways you take care of your inner writer? How about your outer writer? If you’re a reader, are you convinced all writers are crazy? One lucky commenter wins a $15 Starbucks gift card!