Circumstantial Evidence: A Tale of Two Mondays

Circumstantial Evidence: A Tale of Two Mondays

At times I’ve said I’m not cut out for this writing gig.  God should have gifted me with a stronger emotional makeup when he determined I was one of his “creative” creations. 

At the very least, God should have changed my backstory, which caused me to struggle with a major lack of self-assurance in my significance. It turns out journeying along the writing road is a bit of a bumper car ride when it comes to your sense of self. 

Participating in less than supportive critique groups. Pursuing publication. Attaining an agent. Resisting the desire to jockey for position among all the other writers. All of these emotional “mile markers” can deplete your self-confidence.

But the span of time from one Monday to the next reminded me of a truth that will hold me steady whenever the writing journey tries to knock me around in the future.

The first Monday involved some feedback that had me questioning my writing abilities. Okay, now you all are wondering what happened, right? It doesn’t matter. There are endless ways your confidence can take a hit when you’re a writer, pre-published or published. 

• A craft partner’s critique, if not balanced with elements of what’s working in your story as well as what needs to be improved, can cause you to shove your manuscript into a drawer

• A rough 15-minute appointment can make you vow to never attend another writers conference – ever, ever, again.

• Wrestling with a scene or a synopsis or that won’t come together might cause you to abandon your computer to go sit in front of the TV while you indulge in a pint of ice cream. 

Whatever dream you’re pursuing, whether it’s writing or some other worthy endeavor that doesn’t involve daily interaction with imaginary people, you’ll likely face circumstances that chip away at your self-worth.

But back to that Monday morning …

I spent a few hours regrouping mentally and emotionally. The most important thing to remember? That God has the final say on who I am. 

Fast forward to the following Monday, when I receive some really fun, positive news – the kind of news that, as a writer, you hug close and savor like your favorite flavor of ice cream. Or chocolate. Or ice cream drizzled with chocolate.  

And yes, I ended up liking that Monday a whole lot better than the previous one.

From one Monday to the next, I doubted my writing ability … and then I was affirmed as a writer.

But it’s what happened on one of the days in between the two Mondays that’s most important.

Toward the end of the week, a verse popped up on my Facebook feed: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8 NASB) 

Don’t you love how God can use anything – even Facebook – to speak truth to you?

Hebrews 13:8 reminded me that no matter what happens to me along the writing road – failure or success – God’s love for me never changes. He doesn’t love me because of anything I do or don’t do. God loves me because of who He is: a God of grace and mercy and lovingkindness. 

I’m significant because I’m God’s creation. And when He says, “I love you, Beth,” that proclamation isn’t based on whether I have a book contract or because of my Goodreads rating or on how many stars my latest release has on Amazon. 

Without trusted family and friends reminding me to anchor my sense of self to who God says I am, I might have based my significance on circumstantial evidence – the events of one day to the next. 

Circumstances change – sometimes daily, sometimes hourly. What didn’t change from one Monday to the next? God’s character. He’s the same yesterday and today and tomorrow. 

So many of us struggle with a battered self-esteem. Our backstory – the circumstances of our past – have wounded us and made us doubt our worth. My own struggle with significance prompted me to create Caron Hollister, the heroine in my upcoming release, Almost Like Being in Love. Instead of embracing God’s unconditional love for her, Caron wants approval from the wrong person. 

I don’t know what your week has been like so far. Let me encourage you that God is well aware of your circumstances – every single one of them. And his unwavering love for you is woven through each and every day of your life.

GIVEAWAY: 

Leave a comment to be included in a drawing for a copy of Almost Like Being in Love, which releases the end of June.

BIO:

Beth K. Vogt believes God’s best often waits behind the doors marked “Never.” Beth is a 2016 Christy Award finalist, as well as a 2015 RITA® finalist, and two-time ACFW Carol Award finalist. She continues her destination wedding series with You Can’t Hurry Love (May 2016) and Almost Like Being in Love (June 2016). Visit Beth at bethvogt.com.

The Writing Life: What's It All About? with Guest Beth Vogt

Why do we do this thing called the writer’s life?

•    Why do we walk around asking “What if? What if? What if?” 

•    Why do we listen to the voices in our head instead of

medicating them into oblivion and getting a decent night’s sleep?

•    Why do we participate in an annual event dubbed NaNoWriMo and fingersprint to produce 60k words during the month of November?

•    Why do we spend hundreds – no, thousands of dollars attending conferences where we sweat through our super-strength deodorant during fifteen minute appointments with editors and agents?

•    Why do we check our inboxes dozens of times a day just to see if “the” agent or “the” editor has responded to our proposal? (Please say yes! Please say yes!)

I know the answer: It’s because (say it with me now) we want to be successful.

But then … we achieve success. Oh, happy day!

 And thus commences a whole new round of whys.

•    Why do we blog and speak at writers groups and pursue the next contract … and the next?

•    Why do we torture ourselves reading reviews, tucking the positive ones under our pillows and running the um … not positive ones through our shredders? 

•    Why do we invest hundreds – no, thousands of dollars updating our websites and printing bookmarks and redoing our professional photos?

•    Why do we tackle the social media beast – twittering and commenting and posting – when none of the words produced matter in the word count tally of our work-in-progress (WIP)? 

•    Why do we gauge our achievements by someone else’s? (The writer’s version of “The grass is always greener” syndrome.)

I know the answer to these questions too: It’s because (say it with me) we want to be successful.

Funny, isn’t it? Different questions but the same answers.

Here’s what I would like to suggest today: We’re answering the question wrong.

 With the debut of my inspirational contemporary romance, Wish You Were Here, I could pick up the (imaginary) stamp of success and hit myself in the forehead with it. But here’s the truth: Before the ink dried, something will happen to make me feel unsuccessful. Less than.  Maybe someone doesn’t like my book. (It happens.) Or maybe someone likes my writing friends’ books better. (It happens.) Or maybe I walk into the local Barnes and Nobles and my book isn’t there. (So far, that hasn’t happened.)

As I wrestled with the whole idea of success, I realized this writing journey isn’t about me achieving certain things. Yes, I would like it to be about that – earning out my advances, receiving awards, being noticed.

Hey, I’m just being honest here. Honesty isn’t always pretty.

But God isn’t in the “It’s all about you, Beth” business. Or the “It’s all about you, __________” business. (Insert your name in the blank.)

God uses all of my experiences to conform me to his image so that I can, in turn, show the world what he is like.

The world’s definition of success is all about demanding “Hey! Notice me!”

God’s definition of success is all about embracing the scriptural command to become “less than” ( Matthew 20:26) as he provides opportunities to say, “Let me introduce you to an amazing God who has changed me in a miraculous way.”

Because I am a writer, God works through my life as I walk the writing road. In his economy – Kingdom living – it’s not about my sales stats or how many stars I’ve accumulated on Amazon. Nope. It’s about how God uses all of this to scrape off my rough edges – the doubts, the jealousy – so that I look less like me and more like him. And it’s about bringing people one step closer to Jesus. I can do that through the stories I write, yes. And I can do that through my words and my actions, day in and day out, as I live the life of an author.

Beth K. Vogt is a non-fiction author and editor who said she’d never write fiction. She’s the wife of an Air Force family physician (now in solo practice) who said she’d never marry a doctor—or anyone in the military. She’s a mom of four who said she’d never have kids. She’s discovered that God’s best often waits behind the doors marked “Never.”

Her inspirational contemporary romance novel, Wish You Were Here, debuted May 2012 (Howard Books.) Her second novel, Catch a Falling Star, releases May 2013. Beth is an established magazine writer and former editor of Connections, the leadership magazine for MOPS International. Visit with Beth at her website bethvogt.com.

Today Beth is giving away a copy of Wish You Were Here to one commenter. Winner announced in the Weekend Edition!