THE KISS OF DEATH

With a heated look, he held her face in his hands and took his time with slow, deliberate kisses. Her forehead. Her cheek. The curve of her chin. The breath in her throat refused to comply, dispelling in hoarse, jagged breaths.

"I love you, Charity,” he whispered. “I was a fool.”

She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his lips on her lids. They moved to the soft lobe of her ear, and heat shivered through her. A faint moan escaped her, and he captured it with his mouth, caressing her lips with his own until the heat began to build …— A Passion Redeemed by Julie Lessman

Sigh. Forgive me, please, but as a romance reader and writer, I ask you—is there anything better than a kiss? My heart always stills when I see one on the big screen, and my breath quickens when I read about one in a book—that intimate gesture when lips meet to express mutual affection.

Of course, the wonder of kisses doesn’t just stop there. All of us in our writing and our lives encounter a wide range of kisses every day—from the butterfly kiss of feathering eyelashes against a child’s cheek, to the ear kiss I give my daughter when I hug her so tightly, our ears catch and spring back. And what could be more compassionate than the ever-popular air kiss meant to spare daughter or husband the ravages of lipstick? With barely a touch, it’s nose to nose or cheek to cheek while puckering your lips in a soft pop. I mean honestly, are kisses not the coolest thing?

Oh my, yes. That is … all except one.

Yep, I’m talking about the dreaded “Kiss of Death.” You know, that sinking feeling you get inside when an editor says, “I like your voice, but …” Or you open the mailbox and that #10 self-addressed stamped envelope steals your air? Or even the black spots that float before your eyes when you scan contest finalists and realize your name is nowhere to be found? Ouch … those kinds of kisses? Uh, yeah … definitely not cool.

So what’s my point? (And, yes, I do have one.) We’ve all done things on the road to publication that have been the KOD (“kiss of death”) for each of us. Like the time I pitched a novel about a Catholic family to a publisher where Catholicism (or any specified religion) was taboo. Moral of story? Know your publisher before you pitch—a definite KOD that sucked the wind from my sails. (Seeker blog entitled “Buckle Up … It’s Going to Be a Bumpy Ride,” about the steps I took on the road to publication. http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2008/03/buckle-up-its-going-to-be-bumpy-ride.html

What are other KODs I’ve encountered on the road to being published? Well, I learned most of mine in writing contests where one judge actually stated that some of the KODs I listed below indicated the mark of an “amateur.” Translation? It’s the kiss of death, not only in a contest, but with an editor. So, here’s the top five I learned the hard way. Let’s hope you won’t have to!

1.) Avoid “ly” Adverbs and Lame Verbs. When a judge or an editor sees too many “ly” adverbs, you’re dead in the water. Some are okay, but STRONG VERBS are always better—sharper, cleaner, clearer. My #1 writing tool is The Synonym Finder by J.A. Rodale, a godsend in providing strong verbs. Here’s an example from A Passion Redeemed that I altered to show you how you can enhance the mood of a scene with strong verbs that reflect the emotion you’re going for:

Version With “ly” and Tame Verbs:

He turned around and angrily made his way through the crowd, upsetting customers on his way out. Outside, the bitter cold hit him, filled with the smells of burning peat and the slight whiff of horses. He could hear the faint sound of laughter and singing coming from the various pubs along the cobblestone road. His anger grew.

Version With Strong Verbs:

He wheeled around and bludgeoned his way through the crowd, riling customers on his way out. Outside, the bitter cold assailed him, tinged with the smells of burning peat and the slight whiff of horses. He could hear the faint sound of laughter and singing drifting from the various pubs tucked along the cobblestone road. His anger swelled.

2.) Head-Hopping and Multiple POV: Wonderful mega authors like Nicholas Sparks may be able to get away with this, but trust me, as aspiring or new authors, we never will, so best to nip it in the bud now … or at least learn how to do it in the least offensive way. I devoted an entire Seeker blog to this called “Confessions of a POV Queen,” where I’ve listed things I’ve learned about multiple POVs. http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2008/06/confessions-of-pov-queen.html

3.) Search and Destroy “Crutch” Words: In A Passion Most Pure, a friend who read the manuscript saw the word “malaise” so much, I swore she was going to fine me. And in A Passion Redeemed, I used the word “prostrate” so many times, I thought my husband was going to visit a urologist. Every writer has a crutch word in each book that pops up over and over, unbeknownst to them. Hear me on this—search and destroy these KODs by replacing them with a substitute word from your trusty Thesaurus. If left unchecked, they will irritate your reader, and as we all know … that’s a definite “kiss of death.”

4.) Avoid Repeat Words in a Short Span: This is a bit different from above in that this refers to repeat words within the same paragraph or the same page, which will catch your reader’s eye and draw them away from your story. If at all possible, I try not to use the same word in the same paragraph more than once, and even on the same page. This gets difficult in a kissing scene where I’ve been known to use the word “kiss” WAY too many times. Consequently, I work at ridding my copy of repeat words as much as possible, which I did in this scene from my current WIP:

Here’s the Paragraph with Too Many Kisses:

He kissed her, his love for this woman so deep, every fiber of his being ached. “Charity, you possess me body and soul …” His voice was a heated rasp as his kisses trailed her throat. “And God help me, I need you …” He kissed her again deeply, desperate to love her.

Same Paragraph With Most “Kisses” Edited Out:

He silenced her mouth with his own, his love for this woman so deep, every fiber of his being ached. “Charity, you possess me body and soul …” His voice was a heated rasp as his lips trailed her throat. “And God help me, I need you …” He kissed her deeply, desperate to love her.

5.) Show, Not Tell: For me, this is the cardinal rule for writing and one I catch myself lapsing in from time to time because it’s so much easier to say what we want readers to see rather than showing it. But to create an emotional image in my mind, much less a reader’s, I find I have to paint a picture with expressions, actions, sensory reactions. Here’s an example of a scene from my current WIP, A Hope Undaunted, Katie O’Connor’s story, where I altered the first version to show “telling.” The second version is my original where I tried to “show” rather than tell how the characters were feeling through their actions.

“Telling” Version:

Katie was nervous, ashamed at the hurt she had caused. “I said some things that were really unkind and … provoked you, I know.” Her gaze diverted to the window, unable to bear the coolness of his manner. “But you took me by surprise, you see, and I reacted badly. Both in my words and in my … well, my response to your—”

He stood, obviously angry. “Katie, it’s over and done with. We’ve both apologized, so let it go. It’s time to go home.”

She was determined to have her say. “No, it’s not over and done with, Luke. You treat me like a leper around here.”

“What do you want from me, Katie?” He was clearly frustrated.

“I want you to talk to me and not through me, I want you to joke with me like you joke with the others, and I want you to treat me like you treat Parker and Betty—as a friend.”

“No,” he said, as if determined to shut her out.

“No?” She was shocked. “I can’t be a friend?”

“That’s right.” His look was as hard as the anger in his tone.

“But, why?”

His anger finally erupted. “Because it’s no good. Too much butting heads, too much bad history …” His anger faded into regret. “Too much chemistry.”

“Showing” Version:

Katie drew in a shaky breath and clasped her hands in her lap. “I said some things that were really unkind and … provoked you, I know.” Her gaze diverted to the window, unable to bear the coolness of his manner. “But you took me by surprise, you see, and I reacted badly. Both in my words and in my … well, my response to your—”

He shot to his feet. “Katie, it’s over and done with. We’ve both apologized, so let it go. It’s time to go home.”

She rose and leaned forward, palms pressed to the top of his desk. “No, it’s not over and done with, Luke. You treat me like a leper around here.”

He cuffed the back of his neck and exhaled. “What do you want from me, Katie?”

“I want you to talk to me and not through me, I want you to joke with me like you joke with the others, and I want you to treat me like you treat Parker and Betty—as a friend.”

He slacked a hip and crossed his arms. “No.”

“No?” She straightened, disbelief raising her brows. “I can’t be a friend?”

“That’s right.” He shifted, and a muscle twittered along the hard line of his jaw.

“But, why?”

He leaned palms on the desk like she’d done, rolled sleeves revealing two muscled arms corded with strain. “Because it’s no good. Too much butting heads, too much bad history …” He rose to his full height and sucked in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. His eyes burned into hers as his voice lowered to a whisper. “Too much chemistry."

Okay, there you have it—five of my top writing KODs—simple, basic and deadly if you don’t learn how to avoid them. As authors, aspiring or otherwise, these are just a few of the many things that can sap the strength of our writing, but as Inspirational authors, there are countless things that can poison the strength of our witness. Following are the most lethal KODs I’ve encountered on my writing journey, and I would be remiss if I didn’t include them in this blog because they are a deadly trio … for Christian or secular authors alike.

1.) Jealousy: Comparing, measuring, begrudging will not only weaken the effect of your writing for God, but diminish the power of God’s blessings in your career. Key Scripture? Isaiah 59:2 “But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.” Slay the dragon of jealousy because heaven knows we need God to hear ALL of the prayers that we send His way. This is how I deal with it in my blog entitled “Oh, For the Love of God …” http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2008/10/oh-for-love-of-god.html.

2.) Self-Pity: This is one of those insidious sins that slithers in and takes you by surprise, but be warned—self-pity is an Achilles’ heel that will staunch the flow of God’s blessings quicker than a beaver logjam on an uphill creek. Here’s how I dealt with my self-pity and jealousy over an award-winning debut author in my Seeker blog entitled “Oh, For the Love of God … Part 2. http://seekerville.blogspot.com/2008/11/oh-for-love-of-god-part-2.html.

3.) Discouragement: For aspiring writers everywhere … and trust me, published ones too … this is one of the most toxic KODs in the spiritual realm, rooted in fear, worry and despair. The best antidote? HOPE … from God’s Word! Here’s how I battle discouragement, fear and worry every day of my life, a method I’ve highlighted on my website at http://www.julielessman.com/from-the-heart/. Check it out, and you will find a listing of hope and healing Scriptures, as well as a section of Scriptures/prayers specifically for writers.

Now it’s your turn—what are some of the KODs in your life, how you’ve handled them and what you’ve learned? Because the writing biz is tough, and we need all the help we can get, so give it a shot, and let’s learn from each other. And remember, the next time those KODs come calling, go ahead and pucker up … then kiss them good-bye!