Say WHAT???

Dialogue. Done well, it advances your plot while revealing more about your characters. Done poorly, it detracts from the story and jeopardizes your credibility as a competent author. The last thing you want is for readers to be thinking . . .

“A guy would never express his feelings like that!”

“Did people really say ‘okay’ in 1820?”

“What’s with all this weird spelling? I feel like I’m deciphering code!”

“Stop with the preaching already and get on with the story!”

So how do you create effective and believable story dialogue that keeps your readers turning the pages? Here are a few dos and don’ts that may help.

First let’s talk about what the characters are saying--
the words between the quotation marks.

DO eavesdrop on real people every chance you get. Listen for cadence, inflection, word choice, and regional idioms. However . . .

DON’T try to recreate dialogue exactly as you hear it in real life. Story dialogue should give the feel of real speech but without all the extraneous stuff we tend to lace our conversations with--er and uh and ya know, etc.

DO plan a conversational goal for each of your characters in each scene. Dialogue can be a great vehicle for ramping up conflict. Make each person’s speech relevant and purposeful.

DON’T bore readers with chatty interchanges that don’t advance the plot.

“How are you doing, Sandra?”
“Hey, Glynna. Um, fine, I guess. You?”
“Oh, just great. Well, really, I could do without the rain, though.”
“Yeah, me, too. Makes my arthritis act up.”

DO flavor your character’s speech with idioms and phrasing that reflect his or her regional or ethnic background, age and education level, and/or line of work.

“Why, Missy, if you aren’t just as sweet as southern iced tea!”

DON’T make your reader decode strange spelling or words full of apostrophes indicating omitted letters in an attempt to recreate a foreign accent or speech impediments.

“I tellin’ ze truth, Pam eez no gonna like zat ve no say nuttin’ 'bout spreadsheets.”

DO give the flavor of a character’s speech with well-chosen words and speech patterns. An occasional foreign word or phrase can add just enough to suggest the character’s ethnic background. Just make sure the meaning is evident in context. (Also note that foreign words are normally italicized.)

“Debby, would you pass the cappuccino, per favore?”
“Certainly, Tina.”
“Grazie.”

DON’T have characters using slang that is popular today but may well be passe by the time your story comes out in print.

“Oooh, Cara, that outfit is totally rad!”
“Like, groovy and far out, Camy!”

DON’T let your characters become windbags (unless of course that’s part of the characterization). Rambling talk that has nothing to do with moving your characters closer to or farther from their goals will only bog down your story.

Summing up this section, let me quote Jack Bickham from his book The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes: “Simplicity . . . directness . . . goal orientation . . . brevity. These are the hallmarks of modern story dialogue. Nothing else will suffice.”

Now let’s talk about what’s outside the quotation marks--
the dialogue tags that identify who’s speaking.

DON’T get fancy with synonyms for “said.” Keep speaker attributions like iterated, queried, inquired, uttered, suggested, etc., to a minimum. This is one time the thesaurus is not your friend. The word said is basically invisible. The reader will skim right over it and stay caught up in the story.

DO use “said” verbs that are actually doable. Said. Asked. Cried. Whispered. Words that actually refer to a verbal utterance. You can also occasionally use appropriate “said” verbs to imply tone of voice.

“Get to the point,” Ruthy said.
“I’m trying,” Myra whined.

DON’T use “said” verbs that are physically impossible. You can’t nod, wink, smile, shrug, or beam a line of dialogue. Dialogue also cannot be hissed if the words have no “s” sounds.

DO use beats rather than speaker attributions whenever possible. Beats, according to Browne & King in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Second Edition: How to Edit Yourself Into Print, “are the bits of action interspersed through a scene . . . the literary equivalent of what is known in the theater as ‘stage business.’” In the examples below, notice how beats give the writing a stronger and more immediate feel.

Speaker attribution: “I wish you’d play fair,” Mary said with a huff.
Beat: “I wish you’d play fair.” Mary huffed and threw down her tennis racquet.

Speaker attribution: “Are you ready to go yet?” Janet asked as she reached for her keys.
Beat: Janet reached for her keys. “Are you ready to go yet?”

DON’T have conversations taking place in empty space. Your readers need a context in which to envision the characters. They also need regular reminders about which character is speaking--even more important when three or more characters are interacting.

DO place the characters in an appropriate setting so the reader can picture the scene.

Audra sank into a deck chair and inhaled the crisp ocean air. “This is heavenly!”

DON’T rely on words like exclaimed or shouted, or on adverbs like angrily, tiredly, or sadly to indicate how a line of dialogue is delivered.

DO let the character’s mood come through in the dialogue itself, and trust your readers’ intelligence. Usually the only time you need a qualifying tag is when the tone of voice suggests the total opposite of the words spoken.

“A five-star review?” Cheryl said. “Cara, that’s stupendous!”
“Yes, I’m just thrilled,” Cara replied flatly. “Did you notice they misspelled my name?

DO start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes, and keep any related character action in the same paragraph.

Remember, well-written dialogue may well be the writer’s most effective tool for drawing readers into the story and deepening their bond with the characters. To read what other Seekers have posted on the subject, click here.

What are your dialogue questions or concerns?
Pet peeves? Punctuation problems?
The Seekers are here to help!

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One Imperfect Christmas
Autumn Rains
Romance by the Book