Nail that Query!

Oh my stars!!! The Yank's here this morning, ready to talk queries with my village people buds. Visitors are ALWAYS welcome, because this is too important not to nail it down. Master the approach. Secure the fort. Man the torpedoes. Or something like that.

Anybody got cookies???? I'm in cookie deprivation mode.... Possibly desperate, which equates DANGER around here. Have cookie, will travel.

A query letter (or cover letter, they can be interchangeable) is CLUTCH for selling yourself and your personality. Without further ado, I'm posting my letter that finaled in the Peninsula Pitch contest in '07 and got me noticed over at Supers... And then I entered the same manuscript in OKRWA's Finally a Bride (LOVE YOU OKRWA!!!!) and caught Melissa Endlich's attention and my first of TEN books in two years and four months.

Where would I be if I hadn't written a query letter that snagged the judge's attention in that contest? Maybe still decorating cakes at Tops Market... Not that there's anything wrong with that, but this... this writing gig... this is my dream. And I'm lovin' it!  Please note that all of my personal contact information would be located in a "HEADER" at the top of the page, allowing me more room to 'sell' my story.

That query letter (for the Peninsula Pitch contest) wound up as "Winter's End", Love Inspired, 3/10

Melissa Endlich, Senior Editor

Love Inspired Books, Harlequin Enterprises

233 Broadway, Suite 1001

New York, NY  10279

She’s savvy, stylish and saucy, trying to bury a past that haunts the present. He wants settled and sedate, no surprises, while he deals with a present dictated by the past. In the world of mathematics, two negatives can become a positive. Could that theory apply to real life?

Marc DeHollander knows what he wants in a woman. Still angry over his fashion-savvy mother’s desertion, the rugged cattle rancher faces his father’s terminal illness determined to avoid the older man’s mistakes. A high maintenance woman?  No thanks. Too much work. Marc’s short list of desirable qualities? Sound and sensible, all the way.

Yawn…

Toughened by childhood scars, hospice nurse Kayla Doherty exudes the burnished image of today’s woman, sacrificing time and comfort to achieve her goals. While she lives in a cheap, chilled third story walk-up, Kayla’s not afraid to invest in great clothes. Image conscious, she strives to erase traces of the orphaned, indigent hooker’s child she’d once been. Faithful and fiery, the take-charge nurse stands her ground when necessary. And with Marc DeHollander’s gruff attitude, it proves necessary on a regular basis, despite his good looks and heart-stopping smile. Luckily, Kayla has no plans to stay in the frozen tundra of northern New York any longer than her contract demands.

When Kayla steamrolls into their lives as a hospice coordinator for Marc’s dying father, Marc wages a battle against his growing feelings. The styling nurse has “Destination: Anywhere Else” imbedded on her pixie-pretty face, and her annoying faith pricks Marc like the sting of spring nettles. The last thing Marc needs is a woman who can’t handle the rigors of a North Country farm, and he sure isn’t looking for salvation at some cozy, country church. Been there, done that. Didn’t work.

And when Marc finally glimpses the guilt-ridden girl lurking beneath the well-appointed image, he realizes what Kayla knew all along: they carry too much baggage to be good for one another. Neither dares risk the pain of a broken home, a broken heart.

But life has a funny way of turning things around when you least expect it. Like Dorothy in Oz, Kayla comes to realize that Seeking the Garden in warmer climes doesn’t quite cut it when the man you love is five states north. Just maybe her happiness lies in her own back yard after all.

Complete at 61,000 words, I think Seeking the Garden would be a lovely fit for Love Inspired.

Sincerely,

Ruth Logan Herne

Okay, that's the example. No, I didn't include a lot of stuff about me because you know what? Editors get inundated with people who flaunt their degrees, credentials, memberships, etc.  I used every bit of space to sell the book. And it worked. 

ALSO:  You can include a BIO with your proposal/query. If they love your query, they'll read the bio sheet. If not, then that's okay, the bio sheet will not sell a thing but it doesn't hurt anything either.

So if I'm sending in a proposal (3 chapters, synopsis, cover letter) I would feel fine about SELLING the book in the cover letter and selling ME in the bio.


First things first, right? If they don't care about your writing, they won't care a whole lot about what you've done, where you've gone, who you have coffee with. (Unless it's me, of cousrs. Most editors LOVE knowing you're having coffee with me, it's a curse, I know.... :)

Here's the letter I sent to our recent query letter finalists for our impromptu query contest in October, and huge congrats and thank yous to all who entered... it takes GUTS to enter a contest and we know you lose 100% of the contests you don't enter, but I was thrilled to have 25 entries in the fairly spontaneous query contest. And that's how you've got to be in this biz... Ready to take a chance, deliver the goods!


Here's the letter I promised before I started rambling (again!):

Finalists, congratulations from Seekerville!

First, let me say that we had a nice bunch of entries and your work stood out from the pack. But, (and yes this is because I’m bossy and I want the best possible chance for you to grab Love Inspired’s and Melissa’s attention)…

A little polish never hurts. 

1.     Make sure you have a faith thread evident because you’re targeting an inspirational line. It doesn’t have to be much, but an indication of faith growth is just plain smart

.

2.      Be concise. Be direct. Use words sparingly. But use all of your space.  You may use your name, address, e-mail, phone, etc. You are no longer anonymous. You are an author seeking publication. I use my “header” space for all of that so that I have more lines to sell my story.

3.       You can use the Harlequin business address, or not, your choice:  Harlequin Enterprises, 233 Broadway,  Suite 1001, New York, NY 10279 

 

4.       I love queries that start out with that “elevator pitch”, that one-or-two line description of your conflict, your story, i.e.:  A bad boy teen, Matt Cavanaugh’s grown-up goal was strength. Honor. Integrity. Faith. It would test all of the above to give up the woman of his dreams.

5.       Give your personal information in your final paragraph and feel free to be brief. Remember, an editor may not care that you finaled in 27 contests, but that you finaled in the Maggie or the Golden Heart. Allude to them, but don’t necessarily name them.

6.       Sell yourself with ease. This is your shot. Aim and shoot. (Can you tell it’s hunting season in WNY?)

The Seekers long for your success. We’d like nothing better than to have ALL OF YOU get requests from Melissa. That shows we’re doing something right, and your success is a huge part of that to all of us.

Now here's some Ruthy-type advice: Make your query match your style. If you write sass, add some sauce to the query. If you write humor, make 'em smile. If you're writing deadly serious stories, don't be afraid to use statistics to back up your reasons for attacking a social issue. If you're writing suspense, add a line of two of tight, terse suspense:

Three hours. Less, maybe. And all he had was an area, not an address, and a small child whose oxygen must be running dangerously low. He glanced back at the e-mail, wanting, needing a clue. Something more, some...

His heart stopped. His breath froze. He stared at the smart phone display and realized the e-mail had come in on West Coast time. He was in Boston, a full three hours ahead, and that meant one thing: Leah Crosby's time had already run out.

A query or cover letter should be one page long.  Don't be fooled that if you S-T-R-E-T-C-H things out, you can make it better. Make it the best it can be in one page.

If they're interested, they'll know it then. And if they're not, why waste time? Yours or theirs? It's kinda like dating in your late twenties/early thirties: If he/she isn't THE ONE, let it go.


Sharp, tight, don't waste a word. Invest that editor or agent in your story. That's the best way to invest them in YOU, the author.

I brought the Keurig along so we've got a full pallette of coffee goodness!  Quick breakfast today because I'm working on a fun "tween" story for some of my young fans and I promised I'd get it done soon!  :)   (Yes, Vince, I'm priming the fans of tomorrow, today!)

Leave a comment and we'll tuck your name into a drawing for any one of my books, including the sold-out "Winter's End" and the not yet available "Yuletide Hearts".


Ruth Logan Herne is considered by some to be certifiable, and those folks are most likely correct, but as long as she has cookies, chocolate and coffee, she doesn't care all that much. She's holed up somewhere in the hills of WNY with too many dogs,cats and kids and a very famous rooster. She loves writing and coffee and has been known to combine the two with little or no negative effects. Her seventh Love Inspired novel "Yuletide Hearts" is available at eharlequin.com now and will be in stores on November 23rd. 

DON'T YOU JUST STINKIN' LOVE THIS COVER??????

And she wants you to know that Matt Cavanaugh, the hero of Yuletide Hearts is LIKE THE MOST AWESOMELY RIGHTEOUS GOOD GUY HERO THERE IS... and that you will most likely love, love, love this book because it's just plain beautiful.


The end.