Top Ten Reasons Why My First Manuscript Didn't Sell!

I don't get a chance to see humorous top ten lists often.

Most comedians are up late.

I'm not.

Some of them are inappropriate for Seekerville.

'Sup with that???

But here, for you today, in light of our celebration of FIRSTS is a Ruthy-generated top ten list of what not to do as an author.

(the list could be MUCH LONGER, but we'll suffice with ten. Hush, Connealy.)

10: It's not considered good form to unintentionally insult your targeted line on an on-line loop. Oddly enough, loops are not your living room. Who knew???

9.   Unless your name is Diana Gabaldon, it's probably not in your best interests to try to market a 160K book to a 70K publishing house.

8.  Four sub-plots might be one or two too many. I'm just sayin'...

Subplot (also called counterplot) - a secondary or minor plot within a play or other literary work which may contrast with the principal plot, highlight it, or be unrelated. It involves characters of lesser importance than those involved in the major plot.

7.  Edgy Christian fiction does not include bedroom scenes.

6.  Following that, having church services and prayers in a book with bedroom scenes doesn't make it a Christian book. You'd have thought I knew that, right????

5.  One sub-plot pitted a Republican hero vs. a Democratic heroine.

I thought it was brilliant, of course. Embracing all. What it would successfully do is guarantee that 50% of any possible audience will HATE YOUR BOOK.  Editors really want and deserve better odds than that, right?

4.   Whiny, traumatized heroine.  (Yes, I know, I get it. The kind of book you throw across the room because she's "TSTL" (too stupid to love) 

3.   Too many characters to possibly keep track of and every one of them had a point of view, most of them self-deprecating. Really, this family needed more heavy duty psycho-therapy than any fictional family should ever qualify for.  

This is a "Herne" family in the U.K.  I figured they wouldn't mind being an example of many POV's, LOL!
In my experience, Herne's like to hear themselves talk. I am no exception, so it makes things interesting.

2.   Way more arched brows, angled looks, furrowed brows, sweet, tender lips, rugged stances, brawny arms, clenched jaws. We might have actually chewed off a lip or two... Oh my stars, if it was cliche, I used it. BECAUSE IT SOUNDED SO GOOD, LOL!

1.   And the number one reason my first novel will never see the light of day because smart editors everywhere cringed and cried:

A fifteen page opening chapter of telling, telling, telling, all in the hero's problem-solving head. NOT ONE WORD OF DIALOGUE.

:)

But all is not lost, LOL!

Because the premise for this book is in the works for a totally new book I'm proposing to Love Inspired for my next series. Julie Hilton Steele won the New Year's Eve contest for naming this "Hot Cop" hero, and he will be Sheriff's Deputy Alexander Steele,  a tough-as-nails hard-working guy who moves his family to Allegany County for a fresh start. New beginnings. Only to find that past grief trods the heels of the present. I can't wait to segue into the totally awesome fun of delving into the lives of the sheriffs of Allegany County.


Ruth Logan Herne is an upstate New York author, mother of six and a seventh somewhat stolen "daughter of her heart". She's a grandmother to eleven really cute and sometimes snarky kids, several of which bear the "Logan" or "Ruthy" names, which means they most likely get more in the will, right? She's the author of seven Love Inspired novels available HERE  with three more on the way! She blesses the editorial crew of Love Inspired for their constant love and support of her work.
:)
She loves God, chocolate and cappuccinos and thanks God that her husband is a very patient if long-suffering man. And she's serving coffee and Danish from Wegman's inside because she's too busy writing to cook this morning. Stop in, make a comment and she'll toss your name in a hat for a copy of her opening novel of her North Country series: "Waiting Out the Storm"...