LAYERING AS YOU GO - PART TWO: Revealing Emotion in Body Language & Facial Expression

In Part One (Click here) I shared how I personally like to layer my manuscript “as I go” — periodically pausing throughout the writing rather than facing the immensity of a bare bones manuscript after typing “The End.” I highlighted a number points that layering may involve, including providing body movement and facial expression, authenticating the setting, weaving in internal dialogue and “voice” for deep point of view, etc.
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So this month let’s take a deeper look at one of those points.
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LAYERING: Revealing Emotion in Body Language and Facial Expression
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Very few of us, even when talking on the phone, stand rigidly with our hands at our sides and our facial muscles immobile. This week when you’re at the airport, church, mall or in the grocery store line...pause and take a good look around you. Really observe. You’ll see a variety of expressions and body language that, for the most part, clearly communicate what’s going on in someone’s head.
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Stop and think...what is it about the man who sat down across from you that tells you he just received bad news?
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Or the teen standing in the checkout line at the discount store...what is it about her that clues you in that she wants to be anywhere but with her mom?
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Or the woman holding hands with her grade school twins as they cross the church’s parking lot...what communicates to you that things have not gone well that morning?
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Think about how you would describe their body movement and expressions. Did the man merely sit down in the vinyl chair? Or did he slowly lower himself, shoulders slumped? Did the teen simply stand beside her mother, or did she turn slightly away, eyes downcast, jaw clenched, arms crossed? Did the woman just walk across the parking lot with her children, or were her high heels clicking sharply on the pavement, her eyes focused ahead, the twins scampering to keep up as she marched along? 
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On a daily basis we “interpret” so much of what goes on around us based solely on body language and expressions. As writers, we want our readers to be able to “see” emotions, to “read” a character’s mind and not always name, label or explicitly state what is going on internally.
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- She looked angry.
- He felt afraid.
- She didn’t want to go.
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There is nothing inherently wrong with naming an emotion. There are times when it’s necessary and appropriate to do so. Anti-naming “purists” sometimes go crazy with the red pen on things like this when judging contests, but the important lesson here is to not always name the emotion, recognizing that the more you enable the reader to “see” inside a character, the more they will feel and be drawn deeper into the story.
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In Myra Johnson’s “Whisper Goodbye,” she could have said “Mary was afraid to open the slip of paper. But instead she wrote: Fingers trembling, Mary unfolded the slip of paper.
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In Pam Hillman’s “Claiming Mariah,” she could have said “She looked nervously at the angry man.” But instead, she wrote: She moistened her lips, her gaze drawn to the clenched tightness of his jaw.
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In Sandra Leesmith’s “The Price of Victory,” she could said “Ralph was happy to get the money.”  But she wrote: Ralph whisked the envelope of cash out of her hands and danced a jig around the van.
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In my “Pine Country Cowboy” I could have said “He looked amused,” but I wrote: He briefly dipped his head in acknowledgment, a smile twitching at his lips.
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So...today please pick one of the situations highlighted below and, in the comments section, see how you can take a bare bones description and briefly layer it with body language and facial expressions--without “naming” the emotion or resorting to dialogue or internal dialogue.
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- A little boy appeared in the doorway. (Let’s make him...afraid.)
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- The little boy appeared in the doorway. (This time he’s...overjoyed.)
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- The woman looked up at the man. (Let’s make her...in love with him!)
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- The woman looked up at the man. (He’s said something that offended her.)
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- The man opened the door. (He’s late for a date.)
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- The man opened the door. (He doesn’t want to go where he’s having to go.)
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So, please pick a few of these “prompts” and have some fun today!
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Next month we’ll take a closer look at another element of layering.
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Glynna
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If you’d like to be entered in a drawing for a copy of my April Love Inspired release, “Pine Country Cowboy,” please mention it in the comments section, then check our Weekend Edition for the winner announcement!
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Glynna Kaye’s debut book “Dreaming of Home” was a finalist in the ACFW Carol and Maggie awards, as well as a first place winner of the “Booksellers Best” and “Beacon” awards. Her 4 1/2 star “At Home In His Heart” was chosen as a Reviewers Choice finalist by national magazine RT Book Reviews. “Pine Country Cowboy,” her seventh Love Inspired book (and the sixth set in the mountain country of Arizona), is available now—and “High Country Holiday” releases in November!
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No Place Like Home. Abby Diaz longs to reestablish a relationship with her father, so she heads to Canyon Springs, her Arizona hometown, with a painful past she can’t share with anyone. But then she’s needed to care for her young nephew. The little boy takes a shine to a happy-go-lucky cowboy, a handsome man who’s everything Abby can never have. The more time she spends with Brett, the more she realizes he’s harboring a heartache of his own. As she works on repairing family ties with her father, Abby knows that opening up to Brett is key to forging a new future...together.