5 Ways your Online Review Screams You’re a Writer and not an Ordinary Reader

with guest Melissa Jagears.

 I know I’m not the only one who has her eyes glaze over when reading influencers-who-also-happen-to-be-writers’ Amazon reviews. I’ll totally skip reviews that look like a writer (or a friend of the author) wrote them because that’s not what I’m looking for as a reader (or even as an author, frankly). So I’d like to share some things that make me bypass a writer’s review.

Fellow writers are necessary influencers, don’t get me wrong. But writers need to write their Amazon reviews so readers connect with them. When writing reviews, you need to remember what it was like when you used to be just a reader sharing your favorite book with another reader. Because when my eyes begin glazing over, or your review makes me think you’re the author’s friend, well . . . . that isn’t exactly conducive to persuading me to purchase the book. [A book review on a writer’s blog is different from a store product review which is what I’m addressing.]

The reason readers check out reviews before they purchase is to find the opinions of other readers. If I think a writer wrote it, I don’t trust them—even if you don’t know the author from Adam, I’m going to think you do. Because all authors know each other, right? Amazon sure believes we do, hence taking down reviews on other authors because we’re either sabotaging our competition or we’re BFFs working the system, of course!

How I can spot a review written by a writer (Besides recognizing the name). 

1) Writer-reviewers use story craft jargon. 

Do you remember how lost you were when you joined your first group of writers and they casually chatted about GMCs, interior monologue, and backstory dumps? How many of you had to sheepishly ask, “What does Deep POV mean?” 

NIX THE STORY CRAFT JARGON IN YOUR REVIEWS. 

This is a writer-review: “Likeable characters, with an intricate plot in a setting unusual for the genre with a surprising antagonist, this second book in the series earns the awards it’s been garnering. This sophomore novel is better than the debut. You don’t want to miss out on the heart-racing action, the endearing characters, and the great message about forgiveness found in this book.”

This is a reader-review I pay attention to: “I loved the characters and I’m SO glad it wasn’t a Prairie book! I totally didn’t figure out who the bad guy was. I’ve read books by this author before, and this is my favorite. Matthew and Izzy’s difficulty in forgiving each other made me think about my own problems with forgiveness, so it really touched me.”

[Aside: Yes, I know that some of you saw that I write prairie books and groaned, that’s all right, I don’t fancy your WWII settings, so there. :)]

NIX EXPLAINING HOW TO FIX CRAFT PROBLEMS IN YOUR REVIEW.

Writer-Review: “The turns of phrases were cleverly done, not a cliché in sight, but the author took it too far, too many adverbs bogged down the story’s pacing. And at the end of the book, I think one of the plot twists didn’t work because the character arc didn’t support the heroine’s choices, which made it slightly unbelievable.”

Reader-Review: “The writing was beautiful, made me feel like I was really there, though after a while the over describing grated. And there’s a part at the end where I didn’t quite believe something the heroine did, but overall I liked the story except for that.”

2) Writer-reviewers use the word, “Debut” and other industry jargon. – If you know the book is the author’s debut, you’re most likely on the inside—a friend of the author or a fellow writer. 

Even if a reader happens to know it’s a debut, they most likely won’t use the word. 
PLUS it’s sort of insulting. It’s like saying, “This is my 5 year old’s debut signature. So of course you can’t expect much, but it’s a great debut anyhow. You can make out each letter. Impressive!” STOP IT. Stop using the word “debut,” just review the story’s merits, debut or not.

3) Writer-reviewers focus on the author instead of themselves – A product review should be about whether the product made the consumer happy or not.  

Writer-reviewers/Friend-reviewers praise the author; Reader-reviewers talk about themselves. Break out the I’s! This is the place to be focused on self. What was your personal experience with the book?

Writer-reviewer: “This is the third book in Melissa Jagears’s Unexpected Brides series, though you do not need to read the first to understand this book because Melissa does a very good job of giving you just enough background to make sure you understand what’s happening.”

Reader-reviewer: “I always love this author’s books. But I think you should read these books in order, because I found myself a bit confused about the other couple in the story because I read the third one first.”

4) Often (and I mean crazily often) a writer-reviewer resummarizes the plot. (It’s as if we’re practicing writing a short synopsis with every book we read!). 

The only time I want this information is if the product page has no book description. Save yourself the time and don’t write it. If you’re copying and pasting from your blog review, cut the description. Because I’m not going to read it anyway, and you risk that I’ll skip to a shorter review that promises me an opinion. Only tell me plot points (not spoilers) if it directly explains why you liked or did not like something about the book.

5) Writer reviewers are writers, so they like to write looooong reviews. The shorter the better, try to keep to two paragraphs—unless you are an absolute riot as you totally decimate my book. 

{By the way, please don’t do that to me :) . . . Well, unless you’re truly, truly funny and/or you use animated gifs. I told one reviewer that if she ever hated one of my books I’d have to read it anyway because I’d be laughing though my tears with her clever use of snarky gifs...though maybe only people who really enjoy snark would torture themselves by reading someone making fun of their book that way....so if you ever want to personally email me about what you hated about my books, please include some animated gifts, ok?}

So how do you keep from writing reviews like a writer/friend?

Before you write a product review, pretend you are simply a reader again advising other plain Jane readers whether or not this book is worth the money and the hours they will invest into it. How would you have shared a book with your friends before you started writing for publication?

Perhaps the book has some writing flaws, maybe there’s some head hopping, maybe there is a weak plot arc, but turn off your editor jargon and talk about the book like a reader. 
If you posted reviews prior to writing seriously, compare those reviews with your current ones. Has your style changed? 

Here are some of the things I’m looking for in reader-reviews:

-I want to know if there’s an aspect of the book that might turn me off. i.e. Sexual detail, whether the religious aspect/author’s agenda is heavy or light, tropes I don’t like, copy editing problems, etc. Or things that trip my trigger, tropes I DO like, messages that resonate with me, what kind of romance is in the pages, etc.

-Comparable books/authors or books they think did a better job. (I don’t know how many times I could kiss readers for mentioning books they thought were similar or better.)
-The reader’s emotional reaction to the story elements/what details they enjoyed and what they didn’t. Vague “I loved it” does nothing for me.

I asked a reader’s group about what they like/don’t like about reviews on Avid Readers of Christian Fiction so you don’t have to take my word for it. 

(If you’re not on this FB group, you really should be, lots of talk about Inspy books from readers you can listen in on. Though if you join, PLEASE avoid answering all the questions with your own books on every thread halfway related to your books or that you’re tagged in. I promise it looks TONS better to let readers bring up your books without you hovering. BTW, if you want to listen in on a discussion topic but not comment on it, click the little down arrow in the upper right hand corner of that specific post and choose “Turn on Notifications” and then you can go back after their conversation has died down and see what they say.)...... Anyway, their answers boiled down to:

-No spoilers

-Short

-No repeated Blurbs/Overviews

-Honest opinions, Pros/Cons

-How the reader personally related to the story

-Story elements, issues, bugaboos that make it appropriate for them (or not)

Question: What makes you skip a review for another? What are you skimming reviews to find?

And of course, this month, I have two new books I’m hoping will start to accumulate some real reader reviews! I’ll give one commenter A Bride at Last and one commenter The Convenient Bride Collection.

Also, right now I have a Loaded Kindle Fire Giveaway going on with the nine other authors. Most of you probably already like our Facebook pages and things, so go claim some entries!

OH! And if you’d like to practice your reader reviewing, I’m holding an ongoing monthly contest on the Inspirational Historical Fiction Index where the most helpful reviews get thrown in a hat and the winner gets whatever Christian Historical Fiction book they want. Seriously, whatever is available as an ebook could be yours for writing a quick 
recommendation. See Official Rules.

Melissa Jagears is a writer who has to rein in her snark and her bossiness so people will like her. She comments really late at Seekerville, mainly because she’s procrastinating writing. Because it’s hard, ya’ll. See all the other social media places she procrastinates on  at www.melissajagears.com