WHY GOALS AND RESOLUTIONS DON’T WORK

welcome guest blogger, Jane Choate

It’s that time of year again.  We start the year with grandiose goals and enthusiastic resolutions. “This will be the year I sell a book.”  “I will write a thousand words a day.”  “I will submit five proposals every month.”  All of these are great, but they don't take into account the real reasons we aren't already doing these things.  If I really wanted to write a thousand words a day, I’d do so.

I had to do some soul-searching and some pragmatic reasoning (never my strength) to discover why I couldn’t keep my writing resolutions.  Here are what I came up with:

Resolutions don’t work.  Even very specific resolutions like “I will write a hundred words (or a thousand or ten thousand words) a day” don't work without a plan.  It’s great to set a goal.  Hooray.  But a goal is just that.  A goal alone won’t earn you the results you want.   It won’t make itself come true.  Someone—you—has to do the work.

Figure out what that work entails.  If you want to write a book this year, break it up into steps.  What do you need to do first?  Decide upon what kind of book you want to write comes to mind.  The type of book you write will dictate length, tone, research, and a whole bunch of other things.  What else?  Decide when you will write  In the morning before you go to your day job or before you get the family up?  In the afternoon?  In the evening?  At two a.m. when the rest of the family is sleeping?  Work also involves having the right tools and equipment.  If you don’t have the proper computer and software and other tools, you are setting yourself up to fail.  You wouldn’t expect to do carpentry work without the right tools; likewise, you shouldn’t expect to write without the right tools.  Do you need additional training/education to do the work (writing)?  

Understand what it takes to make your plan work.  Understanding what it takes to make your plan work is key.  Part of that—a large part—may be understanding what you need to give up to make your plan work.  Do you need to give up lunches out so that you can write during your lunch hour?  Do you need to give up some socializing to make time to write?  Do you want to quit your day job and devote all your time to your writing?  Do you have the financial freedom to give up your day job?  Each of these decisions requires a well-thought out plan and then the commitment to stick to it.

Recognize the underlying reasons for why you haven't succeeded in the past.

Many of us have tried to lose weight.  If you have succeeded in that, a big congratulations.  You are one of the few who has stuck with it.  Why haven’t the rest of us succeeded?  Lack of commitment.  Lack of support from significant others.  Whatever the reasons, something was holding you back.  It is the same with writing.  If you haven’t succeeded in the past or haven’t succeeded to the extent that you wanted to, something is holding you back.

 

In examining your schedule, do you feel you don’t have the time to devote to your writing?   Are you swamped just trying to keep up with your regular job and taking care of a family?  Perhaps you have an elderly parent to care for.  Whatever is laying claim to your time, identify it, then see if there is a way you can carve out an hour or even a half-hour for yourself every day.  Barter or trade tasks with someone else and then use that new found time for your writing.  (It doesn’t do any good to free up some time and then not use it for your writing.)

What if you have the time, but you lack support from the important people in your life?  This is a tough one.  If someone is belittling your efforts to write with comments like “Why are you wasting your time on that—you’ll never sell anything,” you have my sympathy.  Such comments are hard—make that nearly impossible—to overcome.  If this is the underlying reason you haven’t succeeded in the past, it is time to silence those voices in whatever way you can.   One solution may be to keep your writing private or to share it only with a writing colleague or writing chapter. 

Change your truth.  Before you can change your truth, you need to identify it.  What is the truth that’s keeping you from reaching your goals?  Bear in mind that what you call a truth may not be a truth at all.  It may be another individual’s labeling of you. 

One truth that I allowed to dominate my thinking for years was a rejection letter early in my career.  In this scathing letter, the editor suggested that I “rethink my desire to be a writer” and stated outright that I would never sell or publish a book.  She concluded with the death knell to any project, “Good luck in placing your manuscript elsewhere.”  I admit it:  I was devastated.  It didn’t help matters to realize that she was entirely right about the manuscript.  It was terrible.  Horrible.  Filled with cliches, plot inconsistencies, wooden characters, and just plain poor writing.  Yes, she was right about that book.  What she wasn’t right about was me.  She didn’t take into account my persistence, my desire, my stubbornness that, yes, someday I would sell a book. Still, I allowed this letter to define me.  I kept writing, kept submitting, but I didn’t believe in myself.  Not until I let go of this “truth” did I free my imagination and my heart enough to write something that would sell.  And then I did it again and again.  Not that there weren’t rejections along the way.  There were plenty of rejection letters (and there still are), but I didn’t let them sway me from making my dream come true. 

Another “truth” that I permitted to define me was my father’s-in-law negative comments about each little success I achieved.  It got so bad that I could barely talk about my writing or celebrate a sale because I knew if he heard about it, he would demean it … and me.  If this man—intelligent and educated and a good person in many ways—thought so little of my writing and me, why should I keep trying?  Finally, I learned to let go of his mean-spirited remarks and reminded myself that his words didn’t define me any more than did those of the editor. 

This is a long-winded explanation to say that I dismissed these “truths” from my life, but I had to replace them with real truths.  I had to change the so-called truths that had colored my thinking for so long.  What did I come up with?  “I am a good writer who is getting better.”  What truths are holding you back?  And what can you replace them with?

It’s January.  What kind of writing year are you going to have?  It’s up to you.

Hi Everyone, Audra here. Jane always has such wisdom and encouragement to share. I'm so glad she joined us today! AND, did I mention, Jane has a new Love Inspired Suspense out this month! Jane is giving away a copy of The LIttlest Witness today. Be sure you leave a comment to be in the drawing!!

When Delta Force soldier Caleb Judd's brother and sister-in-law are murdered, the killers turn their attention on his orphaned nephew. Caleb's new mission: protect little Tommy—who hasn't said a word since witnessing his parents' deaths—and figure out who's targeting his family. He needs help, and security expert Shelley Rabb is perfect for the job. But Caleb's used to calling the shots, not taking orders…even when they come from a beautiful former Secret Service agent. Shelley knows firsthand what can happen when business becomes personal, so she vows not to get too close to Caleb and his nephew. She will risk her life to make sure they're safe, but will that mean risking her heart, too?

Jane McBride Choate has been making up stories for as long as she can remember.  When she was in grade school, her friends asked her to tell them stories about themselves.  She complied gladly and told outlandish tales, complete with damsels in distress and the heroic princes who saved them. Now her stories are likely to include a kick-butt woman saving a prince ... and saving the day as well. Writing--and getting paid to do  it--is a dream come true.