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| TOO FAR DOWN IS FINALLY COMING!!! OCTOBER!!! |
I’ve tossed around ideas for a blog post for today and I am
telling you all I can think of is the last couple of months and my stupid
EYEBALL SURGERY!!!!!!
Yes, I know, I’ve whined until people’s ears are bleeding.
And I know the challenges others face.
For some reason every time I say, Eye surgery, I seem to be
met with, “Well, my neighbor is taking chemo…my sister’s child is in the
hospital…my friend lives in Houston and lost EVERYTHING.
Okay, I get it. Count your blessings. Lots of people have it worse. I KNOW!
And I am grateful that such excellent
surgery exists that I am going to be fine.
But still…it’s been a long couple of months!
I
’ve spent too much of it having to hold my computer ridiculously
close to my face because my eyes are just not working right. The surgery either
messed up the eye glasses prescription I need or…I need more healing time. As a
result, I hold the computer funny if I really want to COMFORTABLY read. I spend
most of my writing time Uncomfortably reading…BUT TO COMFORTABLY READ I balance my laptop with my left
hand while I type with one finger on my right hand. And because of that, my left hand is now
numb. I’ve looked it up…and know the cure. Stop bending your elbow so much. It’s
called cubital tunnel syndrome. It’s like carpal tunnel is to your WRIST this
is to your elbow.
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| My new writing posture. Left hand numb. Grrrr! |
I’m sure in an effort to cure that I’ll cause some other
affliction. (whining again)
I’m getting to my point.
Sometimes we have to just keep going. I picture those folks
in Houston wading through waist deep water. They just keep going. Through hardship,
tragedy, loss…against the current…whatever is happening to you, sometimes as
writers with deadlines…or even without deadlines but with a desire to get our
story onto paper…we just do our best. We struggle on.
2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight. I have finished
the race, I have kept the faith.
Now to me, as a rule, this verse is something you say at a
funeral. I remember saying it, or maybe thinking it, at my dad’s funeral. “He
fought the good fight.”
Which to me just meant he lived his faith to the end through
a long, slow, hard death from cancer.
But it also means to me right now…getting through. Not through
life, but through hardship.
Which brings me to another point, “Why do bad things happen
to good people?” (no I’m not complaining…much…about this stupid eye…because this is an old question) The
answer to this question is that God’s first love for us, his first priority for
us, is our souls.
Yes he loves us and intercedes with our lives through our
prayers, but bad things do happen, despite our prayers. But we need to check
with what is happening through these hard times to our SOULS. God tends us on a
spiritual level. If a child dies a lingering death, but has a true faith, then
there I rejoicing in heaven.
If a wealthy, comfortable man lives to be 93 and dies
surrounded by love and family and furniture bought at Neiman Marcus, but doesn’t believe…then to God this
is a tragic life.
So it’s time to remember this. Has the eye surgery, the
struggle, the stupid numb hand affected my soul? No. I won’t say this has been
a spiritually enlightening time either. It’s just been a time to fight the good
fight. To finish the race. To endure and mostly…to keep the faith.
We all go through this. Life isn’t a stroll through a bed of
roses. There’s a reason they call where we live now the earth. Why earthly
things can be fraught with trouble. Because the earth is the earth. It's a separation from God that is healed in heaven.
So I type weird. I’m far more prone to typos thanks to
blurry eyes. I’ve had to cancel a trip because my eye doctor sez I’ll go blind
in an airplane (still planning on ACFW--I hope). I have a weird dark bubble in my
left eye, like looking through tinted sunglasses in a circle that covers about
1/3 of my eye. It's getting smaller but man-oh-man is it slow...The doctor also said if I flew in a plane the pain would be so awful I’d
be screaming at the pilot to land, to let me off.
I told him to chill with the drama. He had me at blind. But
I could tell he liked the ‘screaming’ part of his diagnosis, and he couldn’t be
stopped.
I type on. I’ve let far too much go in the rest of my life, but I’ll make my
book deadline…hopefully with a book not loaded with typos. I’ve got a daughter lined
up to read it before I send it. Check for typos that don't light up spell check. 'If' instead of 'in'. 'Us' instead of 'up'. Stuff like that.
I’ll add another less Biblical saying. When at last you come
to the end of your rope…tie a knot and hang on.
Or how about one my beloved mother-in-law used to say.
This too shall pass.
Hang in there. This too shall pass. Keep the faith.
Leave a comment...I'd like to here ONE TIME in your life you struggled. Please let it not only be ME who is a whiner.
To get your name in the drawing you've got to mention at least one STRUGGLE!
General comments are welcome but today's giveaway is to those who struggled.
Now it is time for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A PRIZE!!!!!!!!
BOOK #3 IN THE CIMARRON LEGACY SERIES IS HERE AT LAST!!!
I WILL PICK A WINNER NOW AND SEND THE BOOK AS SOON AS I GET IT.
TOO FAR DOWN
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| Smother yourself....on doctor's orders. HARSH |
Cowboys, Action, Humor, and History Collide in Connealy's LatestWhen an explosion kills men and damages the CR Mining Company, the Bodens realize their
Cole Boden finds himself caught between missing his time back East and all that New Mexico offers. Sure he fights with his siblings now and then, but he does care for them. He enjoys running the mine and, when he's honest, he admits that Melanie Blake captures his interest in a way no other woman ever has.
Melanie has been a friend to the Bodens forever. A cowgirl who is more comfortable with horses and lassoes than people, she never expected to find herself falling for someone. Particularly for refined Cole Boden, a Harvard graduate who may not stay long at the ranch. She's determined, however, to help the Bodens finally put an end to the danger that's threatened all of them. But will putting herself in harm's way be more dangerous than anyone expected?
troubles are not behind them as they thought. Shadowy forces are still working against them. Cole Boden finds himself caught between missing his time back East and all that New Mexico offers. Sure he fights with his siblings now and then, but he does care for them. He enjoys running the mine and, when he's honest, he admits that Melanie Blake captures his interest in a way no other woman ever has.
Melanie has been a friend to the Bodens forever. A cowgirl who is more comfortable with horses and lassoes than people, she never expected to find herself falling for someone. Particularly for refined Cole Boden, a Harvard graduate who may not stay long at the ranch. She's determined, however, to help the Bodens finally put an end to the danger that's threatened all of them. But will putting herself in harm's way be more dangerous than anyone expected?
A biggie for me (and I know in the middle of a struggle everything seems big) is when we had no choice but to file for bankruptcy after several losses including my husbands high paying job several years ago. That was the hardest, most difficult, most scary time in my entire life! I struggled with my faith, I struggled with the fact that (I felt at the time) though God says in His Word He'll take care of us, He seemed to drop the ball on this one. I conjured all sorts of scenarios on my head...we'd lose our house we were renting because we could no longer afford it, we couldn't afford to feed our family because we had no income, etc, etc. I knew in my heart that God knew our needs (scripture says so)and would meet them, but I felt let down and like He didn't care for us like He said he did. That time in my life, I almost lost my faith and I think that's what scared me the most. I struggled with what felt like going the opposite way in a torrential flood, trudging through muck, mud and rapid flowing waters. I was in my deepest darkest trial and I saw no way out. I resented people who wanted to pray for us because what good was prayer anyway...oh it's terrible to even admit that! But until you go through something so deep, you wouldn't understand I suppose. My husband did eventually find a job, but it didn't pay anywhere near what he had before. I even had to work part-time for a season to help make it work. Our landlord worked with us to be able to stay in the house while looking for more affordable rent (God did open that door). And in the end (at least looking back on it now), the bankruptcy was a blessing. How so, you ask? We no longer had the weight of debt over our heads. It was like taking a big sigh of relief. God worked everything out even better than before. I still struggled for a while with my faith, but even that came full circle once I began to see that God didn't abandon us and His blessings came in a different packaging than what I thought it should. And you know what....He still loved me through it all even though I was ready to throw in the towel! It was definitely the end of the rope time in my life & God had tied that knot for me to hang on to. I still don't fully understand what God was trying to teach me through it all (I do see some things, of course), but now when times of struggle come, I can remember that He has it all under His care and I can fully trust Him. And maybe that was the point of it all :-)
ReplyDeleteMary, thanks for sharing your struggle with us. I can't imagine what you went through and are still going through, but know my prayers have been with you. And I think a little whining now and then is okay :-) Shoot, I'll even throw the confetti at your pity party...lol! I think you are an inspiration to keep on doing what you need to in spite of struggle, and rely on God to help you through it. And I think when you share your struggles, you allow people to uplift you in their own prayers. A burden shared is a burden lifted :-)
Thanks for the chance to win a copy of Too Far Down, I have the first two in the series :-)
P.S. Glad to hear your daughter is helping you with typos and things. What a blessing to have her in your life!
This is a beautiful and so relatable story, Trixi.... thank you for sharing it! And for offering to throw confetti at Mary's Pity Party!!! I'LL BRING CAKE!!!
DeleteI'm so touched by your journey Trixi, your honesty and transparency, I just want to give you a hug. Life can be so hard, but we really can trust God to take care of us.
DeleteTrixi, God bless you. Thank you for sharing with us. What a hard time. And your husband losing his job, wow, that happens and it just pulls the rug out from under everyone's feet. I'm so sorry you went through that.
DeleteTrixi, thanks for sharing that scary time and God's provision--your testimony.
DeleteJanet
Thanks for sharing your story, Trixi. Glad life is better for you now.
DeleteI'd like to echo Trixi. Thank you for sharing your struggle. I know that the Lord never sends me trials that He doesn't think I can withstand, but sometimes I wish He didn't have so much faith in my ability. Next time, I will remind myself 'this too shall pass.'
ReplyDeleteEvelyn, thanks for not somehow in the comments managing to depict eyeball rolling. (too may eye references?) I appreciate the patience of everyone who's had to listen to me...uh...let's call it MAKE A FUSS...just to take a break from the overuse of the word whining. :)
DeleteThis summer has been a struggle. Three trips to the ER.2 just last week I discovered an irregular heartbeat and very high blood pressure. All while trying to write and read.
ReplyDeleteI have to keep reminding myself that God has this and He is in control.
Wilani! three ER trips. :( I'm so sorry. How scary! I hope they're gotten to the bottom of the trouble so that can stop!
DeleteWow, I'm sitting here typing and frowning. So many people with struggles.
Wilani, thankful for medicine that can correct your scary symptoms.
DeleteJanet
Praying for you, Wilani. I know you are such an example of someone who perseveres in spite of life throwing you so many curves.
DeleteThere you go, Mary. Tie a knot and hang on. Way to go, cowgirl.
ReplyDeleteYeeHaw!
DeleteHugs, Mary! You aren't a whiner by yourself :) Clearly God knows I can't handle much--even a bout of stomach flu will get me whining! Glad you're on the mend!
ReplyDeleteFedora, you sweetie. LOL People are so kind and patient with me. I am on the mend. It's slow but steady (mostly slow)
DeleteOh Mary, you make me laugh. I live with a chronic illness of pulmonary hypertension and it just gets my goat when I am having an extremely hard day and I finally reach out to someone and vent and their comment is, "You really could have it so much worse. Look at..." Okay, I COULD have it so much worse, and yes, I can look at that and give thanks that I have it as good as I do. But going through the refiner's fire is tough, no matter what is going on with someone else's trial. My struggle is being a single mom with pulmonary hypertension. It's a constant battle to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ so I can live with an attitude of gratitude and not give in to the struggle. Love you, Mary. Love your honesty. Love your humor. Love your writings. Hang in there! God is our strong tower, our rock, our deliverer :)
ReplyDeleteliza, I KNOW. And they DO have it bad. But hey, let me have the spotlight to whine for a while, huh? It sounds like you've been struggling a long time to have such a wise attitude about obedience. So yay for the wisdom, but I'm sorry about the refining fire!
DeleteLiza, thank you for sharing this important wisdom: God is our strong tower, our rock, our deliverer. Hugs to you.
DeleteJanet
I am having increasing trouble with my eyes too. I was always short sighted, but now my short sight is becoming even shorter. My eye doctor doesn't think it's a thing; I do. I'm living it. (I think I need a new eye doctor.)
ReplyDeleteI agree. A new doctor is a must, because if you can "see" (or not see, in this case!) the difference, then there's a difference! Silly doctor!
DeleteMary, why not go to a new one, and don't tell the new one ANYTHING the old one said. You may find out the old doctor is just fine and go back to him/her. But get a true second opinion.
DeleteMary, I'm getting more near sighted because of cataracts reshaping my eyeballs. So there's a solution in my case when the time is right. Do you have cataracts??
DeleteJanet
Janet my surgeon said to expect a cataract to come fast in this operated eye. He said the surgery is traumatic to the lens and cornea and a cataract WILL COME. Probably within the year but sometimes it grows more slowly!!!
DeleteI love to read and spend a lot of time doing so. The Monday evening after Thanksgiving last year the corner of my vision in my left eye went black. I had no idea what it was and went to a meeting next morning. By noon half my vision in that eye was gone. I went to my eye doctor who immediately sent me to a retinologists. I had a detached retina. That doctor did some later treatment and had scheduled me for surgery. I wasn't sure his ability and my daughter recommended a specialist an hour away. I went to him and he did surgery 3 days later. I am much more confident in his ability and so far have been pleased . He has said it may take up to a year to see how much vision I regain. It has improved but slowly. It is warped and reading with that eye is impossible except for large signs at a medium distance. It is putting a lot of strain on my other eye and I worry I could damage it. What a frightening prospect. My reading takes much longer as does my time on the computer. My peripheral vision is pretty good and after 3 or 4 months, I could safely drive. I am thankful for the improvement, but and anxious to have my vision back to normal. What do I do if it never gets to the pint it can be corrected? In addition, I have been seeing a neurologist because my balance is shot, my legs go numb , and I have a sharp pain in my lower back. I went to a neurosurgeon who ran some tests. The technician said she hadn't seen results like mine before. I am still waiting for the results and a follow-up appointment. Has been a pain not being able to hike. Getting old is the pits, but I still keep trying.
ReplyDeletePat, you're amazing! And I'm so sorry you're going through this, and it's a stinkin' long road, but I'm so glad it's still improving! There is hope in that and I'm glad you searched for a specialist you had confidence in. That's so important and I'm always amazed when folks don't do that... because answers are a few computer clicks away, right? Good for you. And praying for continued and complete healing.
DeleteRuthy is right. Always look for a specialist. Medicine is always improving and you never know what another doctor will be able to suggest.
DeleteLibrarypat, the doctor said my detachment didn't reach the macula...which reminds me of macular degeneration, I guess that's the center of the eye. (I hate that I know so many EYEBALL terms now)
DeleteIt sounds like yours did. I'm reading your post multiple times looking for information. I'm so eager to have this left eye heal. Will my glasses start to work again? Or will I need new? And how long until I can get new, because if the vision continues to change the new glasses might be useless by the time they get here.
My balance is bad. My depth perception is bad.
When I'm out with My Cowboy I hang on to his arm alot. I suppose it looks romantic when in fact he's just holding me up!
One of the biggest struggles I had physically was when I had surgery on both feet, woke up with casts up to both knees and was told I couldn't get out of bed for five days. It was miserable. Then on the sixth day I almost passed out when they got me up to take five steps. I was in my 20s then but it was difficult. Emotionally, my biggest struggle I'm still going through and that is going through boxes and boxes of my Mom' things and trying to decide what to do with it all.
ReplyDeleteI pray your vision will clear and all will be well Mary.
Blessings,
Cindy W.
Cindy, one of my most helpful therapies when going through a beloved's belongings was the simple task of donating... I had to learn to not check everything because doing that pushed me into a long, winding trip down memory lane and there was so much else on my plate... Praying you through this!
DeleteCindy, only keep what is meaningful to YOU. You had her, for however long you had her. You don't need "stuff." I speak from experience, my father was an avid collector and hobbyist and never spring-cleaned. In the end, though, the stuff didn't matter. The memories did.
DeleteCindy, wow, surgery on both feet! Wow, that sounds awful and for such a young person. Five days! I had to do ten, but I could get up for about 5 minutes in each hour.
DeleteBut the doctor said things like, "If you're up too much the surgery will fail and that's okay, we'll just have to do it over and the ten days will have to start over.
Which is a very PERSUASIVE way to convince me to stay in bed!
I was about insane by the end of ten days though. Yikes! What an experience.
Mary, I think this is the best post ever done in the history of mankind... even with the whining, darling.
ReplyDeleteBecause we all whine sometimes, and we all face adversity, and we all want to gnash our teeth and roar our roars (Where The Wild Things Are, Maurice Sendak) and mostly we can't.... and I am GLAD YOU DIDN'T SMOTHER although I was pretty sure you would and I had a ticket to Omaha for the funeral.
But you didn't, so that's a bonus!
Although now I have to change the ticket and that's a pain. SIGH....... ;)
I love the planetary celestial meme.
And I can't wait to read this book...
But MOSTLY I pray for your complete healing.... and for Irma to head north NOW.... and for Texas.... and a cure for cancer (I hate cancer and Alzheimers, by the way)... and for North Korea to get a clue...
Wait, I'm slightly off-topic here.
Like that's a surprise.
I love you.
You have been such a good, dear and wonderful friend throughout. We are all simply blessed to know you, you have the heart and soul of a gentle woman and I'm so glad to call you friend.
And you never yell at me.
#BONUS
Everytime I get to whiny I think of you getting stranded in the airport in Omaha and saying later, "I had to sleep in an airport...it's not like I had a child with cancer."
DeleteThose are wise, wise words, Ruthy. I expect nothing less.
PS I hope you fly Southwest. They refunded our tickets when I had the surgery days before a flight to go see my daughter!!!!
PS it's not better than Tina's I AM AWESOME post. C'mon, admit it. That was spectacular!
DeleteRuthy, you crack me up with having a plane ticket to Omaha for the funeral.
DeleteSo sorry for all the pain, suffering, and plain inconvenience you're going through. But our Lord indeed will carry you through!
ReplyDeleteHang onto that knot at the end of your rope....and when you're ready to let go, there will be strong arms to catch you.
MH I've never been sure, but I don't think you get to let go of the knot. I think you have to climb back up the blasted rope.
DeleteI don't think I realized the sight challenges that you continue to face. That would be tough, for sure.
ReplyDeleteI married a man with two small children, got pregnant and lost the pregnancy within five months time. Got pregnant again and was so sick that I could not even sip on ice cubes without getting sick. Ultimately I ended up in bed and on IV for weeks. Something that most people get thrilled about turned out to be a nightmare for awhile, because I could not take care of our children, I was too sick to take care of anything . . . . the world as I had known it came to a screeching halt. In the end, I birthed a beautiful, healthy daughter, for which I am eternally grateful.
Really enjoy your books, I believe I have read them all, and certainly look forward to this newest one.
Wow Rebecca, you had Hyperemesis Gravidarum! Just like a PRINCESS!!!!!
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear you're still having lingering issues with your vision, Mary. Living with a chronic disease, I've had many struggles throughout my life, but they've made me the person I am today. Now, my family is dealing with the heartbreaking reality of Alzheimer's Disease which will forever change each of us.
ReplyDeleteHugs Jilly, God is with you. Praying for you all.
DeleteAkzheimers tests everyone, Jill. My grandma had it and it went on for so long. We look back now at her antics and smile, she really was a handful all her life, but when the AZ hit, wow. The police brought her home a few times. Poor old grandma, what a grouchy old bat. She actually cheered up toward the end. It really changed her personality.
DeleteChronic illness is so wearing. So relentless. People learn to cope but it's a weight a person just has to bear all their lives. God bless you, Jill.
DeletePrayers for you, Jill.
DeleteYES YES, prayers for you Jill!
Deletexoxo
I struggled trying to overcome a violent and abusive childhood. For many years I couldn't forgive or trust. I've learned that through all my trials I've become stronger. I wouldn't change a thing about all I went through but it has made me who I am today. My parents are both dead, they never go,d me they loved me, though I was stupid but I forgave them.
ReplyDeleteDeana, my father told me I was stupid whenever I didn't do something the way he thought it should be done, which was often as much as once a day. He meant well, but...Feelings of not being good enough, especially smart enough, carried over into adulthood and affected jobs, relationships etc. Also affected my relationship with God the Father. I'm older now and I look back on my life and realize for everything I got wrong, there were two or more things I got right. We can only look at ourselves through His eyes.
DeleteBlessings,
Kathy Bailey
Deana and Kaybee, whatever our parents do, it becomes so CARVED into us. It's a voice we always hear, unless we work hard to grow and let go of the old voices.
DeleteI'm so glad both of you were able to overcome this.
Abuse isn't all done with fists.
I'm so sorry, Deana and Kaybee for what you went through. Glad your faith has brought you through.
DeleteMy struggle was with the back pain that came with my broken knee cap. I couldn't even take a deep breath. It took everything I had to move. AND I relied on my faith to get me through those dark days...and they were dark days. BUT I said faithful and so did God. My knee cap healed and my back pain got better. I NEVER want to relive that time, though.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Mary. As always, you're in my prayers!
This should say: I stayed faithful and so did God.
DeleteGuess I was still asleep when I wrote the first post!
Rose isn't that just DISGUSTING. There you were, minding your own business, being a peaceful person, and BAM your knee is broken.
DeleteIt's not like you were on the black diamond slopes in VALE!
But how cautious can we be? How careful? Sometimes the floors of life are just wet and slick!!!!!
Glad you have healed, Rose.
DeleteMary, you are such a blessing! I not only enjoy your books, I love keeping up with you on Facebook. You have been - and continue to be - in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your struggles. And yes, with the good Lord's help, this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteTammy, thank you. The prayers really did bless me. It helped so much to know I was being prayed for. And God laid his hand upon my brain and kept me from going CRAZY!!! (Mostly!)
DeleteMary, I am stunned. So sorry you're going through that, especially with something as precious to a writer as your eye. And admire your determination to keep on.
ReplyDeleteI have had relatively few physical problems in my life, and those of short duration. Been blessed with good health, combination of genes and working at it. I'm 66 and I only take two prescription meds. BUT...I've had codependency issues with a close relative, my younger daughter has mental health issues, and Dave and I have always struggled financially. One time when he was in Bible college I made sardine chowder with some sardines my mother had sent me in a care package. It was okay if you liked sardines in the first place. And I made it with POWDERED MILK. I think that was about as low as we ever got, but it has always been a struggle.
The sea change for me came when I got to my late 40s and began to look back over the totality of my life and see the things I had learned from the things I didn't want in my life. And that was when I began to see that this life is a training ground for the next one, or, as in the old sermon illustration, the unfinished tapestry with the knotted threads in the back. This world is not my home.
Thank you, Mary, for a post I will be thinking about all day.
Kathy Bailey
Kaybee, this is so great. Thank you. Ah, the powdered milk/Sardine chowder sounds absolutely awful! :)
DeleteI grew up so poor. I realized only as an adult that we ate ... what I think of now ... as Depression food, all my life. Lots of cream sauces over a little bit of meat. Our potato soup was milk and potatoes. My Cowboy's mom put in so much delicious meat and other veggies.
Mom would fry a pound of hamburger and put a cream sauce in it, so proportionally much SAUCE to meat that you'd about have to hunt for the hamburger.
But eight kids, two parents, zero money, milk cows....it all added up to us not starving. :)
Looking back is so wise and I love the tapestry image. Lovely
Kaybee, you have certainly had your struggles. Thanks for your testimony how faith has led you through.
DeleteYay for the 66, kaybee!!! Isn't it wonderful that we can write at our age? My father passed away at 61, and I thank God every day for my good health, and positive outlook on life. I've had many trials and tribulations, but he's pulled me through. And the most amazing gift he's given me is B-positive blood!!! So, how can I not be positive??!!
DeleteAnd as Mary says...abuse isn't all done with fists...sometimes what you say does it, and other times it's what's NOT said that can affect a person's life.
Blessings,
Marcia
Compared to some my struggle may seem small but figuring out what college to go to next year is what I'm currently struggling with.
ReplyDeleteHannah you're a KID. Why don't you tell us about your struggle in detail and I and all the Seekers and all the Seekervillagers can muddy the waters by telling you what WE think you should do!?
DeleteMy father said he would help pay for college which I am so thankful for but he wants me to go to a non-accredited Christian school for a year and see how I like it. I worked hard for my grades and feel like it would be a waste of my time and money to go there. I have my eye on Pensacola Christian College in Florida but I want to honour my parents, I decided not to go this year so I can pray and see what I'm supposed to do. It's very difficult because I've never had to make major decisions on my own. 😭
DeleteMy father said he would help pay for college which I am so thankful for but he wants me to go to a non-accredited Christian school for a year and see how I like it. I worked hard for my grades and feel like it would be a waste of my time and money to go there. I have my eye on Pensacola Christian College in Florida but I want to honour my parents, I decided not to go this year so I can pray and see what I'm supposed to do. It's very difficult because I've never had to make major decisions on my own. 😭
DeleteHannah, you could check with Pensacola Christian College to see if the credits from the college your dad wants you to attend would transfer. With that information, you could discuss it more with your dad. Good luck in your decision.
DeleteBTW, Mary, THAT WASN"T WHINING> I've whined and I know what it looks like.
ReplyDeleteKB
It WASN'T whining, Kaybee. It's inspiring.
DeleteMary, I meant what YOU were doing wasn't whining.
DeleteWhat a pain that all is!! I don't blame you for feeling in the dumps. My eye sight is slowly getting worse way before it's time. I just turned 40 and my eye doctor says my eyes are progressing as if they are 65. Ooh, lucky me! So hubby and I decided to take sight seeing bucket-list trips now while I can still see. I sure do gaze longer at the beauty of nature and the world around me now that I know it won't be forever! Thanks for a good reminder that everyone struggles!
ReplyDeleteSusan that's so wise. But what is wrong with your eyes? Cataracts can be fixed. Just poor vision? Macular Degeneration? Glaucoma? (My mom has that and it's not gone well) I'm so sorry and I can FEEL the worry. Going now, seeing beauty, story that up in your heart, and God bless you.
DeleteSusan, have you seen a specialist? I would definitely see whatever doctor I could in order to find out how I could be helped.
DeleteThe vitreous gel in everyone's eyes slowly turns more liquid as you age - mostly later in life (not 40's). Mine has been turning already, so I see floaters and flashes and am now at risk of other problems because of it. Unfortunately you can't stop it. I won't be blind any time soon, thank goodness (I should have worded my upper post better: "while I can still see CLEAR"), but my vision won't get any clearer. ;) My eyes are worse than both my mid-60's parents! We laugh about it. Thank you two for the advice!!
DeleteI guess I would have to say taking care of my mom. I just got married a year ago, so am not living with them anymore, but when I was, my mom has something similar to MS, and required/requires constant care. She doesn't believe in MDs so won't find out exactly what it is that she has. I guess the hardest thing is taking care of her, and knowing she just isn't gonna get better if she doesn't find out what is wrong and seek the right help for it. :( It is also hard on my other siblings who are still taking care of her, as well as my dad, who retired a little early, so he could help care for her.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your eyes, that must be hard, and wow, you still write so many good books! Thank you!
Abigail, wow, so sorry about your mom. And it sounds like she's afraid to find out what's wrong. I have two friends with MS and if it's treated correctly the results can be really good. But I get the fear, too.
DeleteI'm pouring all my angst and stress into this book, expect many shootouts and fist fights.
Really sorry about your mom, Abigail. Has she always stayed away from doctors? That makes it tough.
DeleteThank you. Sandy, yes she has always been one to do things "natural".
DeleteHi Mary,
ReplyDeleteI truly am sorry for all you've had to endure throughout these recent months. I just want to give you a hug and come hold your computer for you.
With what I had hoped was Mary-style humor, I was going to say my most recent struggle was reading the font on this post. I haven't put my contacts in yet, but had my glasses on to get me to the coffeepot. I had to slide my glasses to the end of my nose to see the tiny print. My vision isn't so good either.
BUT, then I read Trixi's comment and I'm humbled by her honesty, transparency and struggle. I read of child abuse, physical hardships, financial struggles and again I'm humbled by what others have endured.
I once read something that has stayed with me most of my life-no idea where, or who to attribute it to-it went something like this,
"If all the problems of the world were heaped in a pile and we had to take something from the pile, would we be content with our own or willing to take someone else's".
I found a similar quote by Regina Brett on Goodreads, may be her, I don't know. The point is we all have something we struggle with. I have a few joint issues and relationship issues, but I think I'll be content to deal with the problems I have and continue to hold fast to God to help me through them.
I love quotes and recently came across this one that has helped me stay focused on all my blessings.
"Gratitude helps us to see what is there instead of what isn't".
TRACEY LOL that would help SO MUCH. i DAYDREAM about finding the right desk to raise and lower the level of the computer.
DeleteBut then I see what such a contraption costs and just keep holding it.
Right now I'm on my desktop and I can lean way way forward and see, but then I can't see the keyboard anymore, which is MOSTLY okay, since I touch type, right?
But still surprisingly annoying to have to stop and bend down to the keyboard to pick out symbols and numbers.
Wow, I love that quote Tracey, you are so right. I have a wonderful life, not perfect of course, but great, kind hearted children and a husband who just came through for me to an amazing extent.
DeleteI mean I was really humbled and IMPRESSED with how well he cared for me.
By the end I think he was really hoping when our time comes, he'd die first so he didn't have to help me through a major failing health situation, but beyond that, he was a big help.
As Ruthy said, I think this is the best post ever!
ReplyDeleteMary, have been praying for you and will continue. We don't mind you whining!
I have whined last 2 yrs. as I had two surgeries (knee replacement and laminectomy for 2 collapsed discs). God has helped me cope through it as well as some great Seeker friends!
I want to be entered for your book....have the other two and anxious to read all in order!
Blessings~~~
Hi Jackie. I'm BAAAAACK. I had a funeral this morning. A neighbor I don't really hang around with but a sad funeral. Four kids with his first wife, two with his second, and those two are still in high school, a 65 year old man. Plus one step-daughter. Huge funeral.
DeleteSo we were involved for a long time.
Sorry to be absent here but no way to avoid it or plan for it.
Knee replacement, huh? Wow, that is a tough surgery and with an almost miraculous improvement in the quality of your life. Because bum knees and hips are so disable-ing
DeleteOur family's biggest struggle...losing our 10 year old son in a RV fire. We still miss him. Our continuing struggle...my mother's aneurysm stroke and brain survey in 1974 at age 48, and the dementia she now suffers because of it; and now my dad just had colon cancer surgery, they got everything and he is healing remarkably, Praise God. We are blessed. Praying for your healing, Mary.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Hibdon, I can't even...love to you.
DeleteJennifer, my heart breaks for you for your son and parents health problems. Glad your dad is doing better.
DeleteJennifer, so very sorry about losing your son in such a tragic way. And all the struggles with your parents. Prayers for you.
DeleteJennifer, I can't begin to imagine. Prayers for you as you face your parents' health issues.
DeleteJennifer it hurts just to read about losing your son. God bless you. You'll miss him all your life.
DeleteSo sorry about your mom, too. A stroke at age 48. That's so long ago, and I'm sure the challenges then...and still...have nearly weighed you down. I'm saying a prayer for all of you, your dad included. I'm glad his surgery went well.
Mary -- As someone who has vision issues myself as the result of a severe illness years ago, my heart goes out to you in this ongoing struggle with your eyes. Vision is so very, very precious. You're meeting this challenge and time of fear and uncertainty with courage--and inspire the rest of us to keep hanging on and trusting God wherever we are. Prayers continuing for your healing.
ReplyDeleteReally, Glynna? You think I'm showing courage and inspiring people?
DeleteI sure hope so. I mostly just hear myself telling the story over and over in a whiny voice to anyone who doesn't run fast enough.
They want to know every detail...RIGHT?
Mary dearest, you are entitled to whine after weeks with your face down in a pillow. sigh. But you are hanging in there and keeping the faith. We love you. Thanks for encouraging us. Congrats on another release. How many is that now for you? Yay!!! Think of the blessings. That's what helps me through these tough times.
ReplyDeleteSandra I'm not sure how to count the books. I've had several...like with the Seeker collections, that have come down. Do I still get to count those?
DeleteFull length books...31. With contracts for three more.
Novellas...wow, very very many. And I count those, but maybe I shouldn't...about I'm thinking 17 still in print (including ebooks) and maybe two or three others not still in print, though maybe I'll re-release them when I ever get one speck of spare time!!!
So that's 48 books...51 if you count the novellas that've been taken down. YAY!
Hi Mary, I love the idea of tying a knot in our ropes. Must be why you write cowboy stories.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, we were building a house. Our Realtor introduced us to the builder and we even went through some of his other homes. We signed a contract with him to build our 'dream' home. Months into the process, our middle school son was looking through an architecture magazine from a building store. He came to us and showed us a plan that looked like our 'custom' home. Now we know the builder is lying about that much. To make a long story shore, he disappeared with our money, and we'd sold the house we were living in at the time. I won't bore you with anymore details, but it was a nightmare.
I hope your eyes continue to heal until you are back to normal!
What a nightmare, Jackie. I hope you have found another home. I can't even imagine.
DeleteJackie, did ya'll ever recoup any of the money from the builder? Talk about injustice.
DeleteWe never recouped any of the money, and he was on the Sheriff's most wanted list for a few years. But he was never arrested. We did eventually move, because we'd already sold our home. I had to give the anger and disappointment to God, or else it would've eaten me us. I trust God will have the last word.
DeleteJackie, wow. Do you want me to help you hunt him down? I'll bring my bloodhounds, the scum! :( I really want to know more...
DeleteMary, your transparency blesses all of us who've gone through hard times and is a reminder that when someone opens their heart to us, saying it could be worse is like slamming the door in their face. I'm so thankful we have God to see us through the hard times and each other to share our needs. Praying for the complete healing of your eyesight.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Janet
Thank you, Janet. All the prayers have been such a blessing. It is humbling and so encouraging.
DeleteThank you ALL for the prayers.
What a great community Seekerville is, and the whole Christian writing world. My publicist at Bethany said they have a prayer and fasting time at Bethany House and she asked if she could include healing for my eye in that prayer.
I just thought how wonderful to be in a world, in a business, where there is a prayer and fasting time.
This year has been a struggle for me. Especially this past month. Being suddenly admitted to the hospital for leukemia. I went to the ER for one thing and they kept me. Transferring me to a hospital that could treat the leukemia. I am going stir crazy. I want out of here! I know everything is in God's hands. It is hard though. I cry because I want to be home with my family.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Cheryl. I will be praying for you to get through this hospitalization and be completely healed.
DeleteCheryl, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I'll be praying you can go home soon! And that treatments will provide a cure.
DeleteCheryl, on God bless you. This is going on right now?
DeleteI'm so sorry. And they do a bone marrow transplant? Is that what you're having? They have wonderful success with leukemia treatment now, but you need to be isolated don't you? They make you vulnerable to viruses and germs.
Anyway, WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING TO YOU...God bless you. I'm saying a prayer right now.
This summer was one of the most frustrating summers I have ever had. We just struggling with some issues. Its hard but we know God will get us through these challenges. And by the way Mary I love your books ��
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling, Kirsten. But God is good, our strength and hope through every difficulty.
DeleteKirsten I am a person who hates cold weather. I was born and raised...lived all my life in Nebraska.
DeleteSo okay, Mary...GET USED TO IT!
But on the most miserable, bug infested, 100% humidity, 100 degree weather, in the middle of August with no break in sight??? I still hate winter.
But this year? I am sooooooooooooo over this summer. Get out and let a new season begin. I guess I"m hoping my eye trouble goes away when the summer does.
There's some realistic thinking there, huh?
I understand completely in a different way in March I had cellulitis of the eye then I had almost lost my vision in that same eye because I'm sensitive to Steroids praising the Lord that He protected me both times then in May I shit the car door on my foot at work and tomorrow I have a nerve Test. So I'm praying something shows up because it's been difficult. Praying you through as well. May the Lord show Up in the small things continually
ReplyDeletePrayers for your healing, Tina.
DeleteI'm praying for your medical issues, Tina. It's so hard to have one thing after another.
DeleteWow cellulitis in your EYE?? I'm screaming a little deep inside, Tina. Cellulitis is nothing to fool around with, girl.
DeletePS I think you probably........ahem...... HIT the car door on your foot....but whatev...
:)
Your eye is okay now? I hope so.
Hi Mary, I'm so sorry to hear that you are still having trouble with your vision. I will keep those prayers coming. One of my biggest struggles lately has been dealing with my mother's seven year battle with lung cancer and the four years since her death. She was a single mom for most of my life and I was an only child so we were very close. It was so difficult watching this strong, smart, independent lady deteriorate until I felt more like the parent than the child. I thought I would feel relief when her suffering finally ended, but learning to live without her is another struggle indeed. I tell myself that I was blessed to have her for 7 years when her diagnosis was 14 months. And I am so grateful for my 3 wonderful daughters who light up my life every day. Mary, I am also so thankful for authors like you that give me an escape into another time and place and bring such joy and laughter through your books! I am counting the days until I can get your next one!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the loss of your mom, Julia.
DeleteJulie, I'm so glad you have your daughters to help you work through your loss and grief.
DeleteTypo alert! I meant to say JULIA. I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong.
DeleteJulia, there's always a bright and shining light... Mary thinks I look YOUNG!!! It's like seeing me through one of those silk screens they used to use for old movies! YES!!!!
DeleteJulia, I'm so sorry about your mom. I lost my dad to a long, ten year, battle with prostate cancer.
DeleteHe was 72 and he'd lived a long good life, but it was still so hard.
It really helped me to pray Isaiah 40:31 -- but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
It helped me to see my dad, fully healed in heaven. I've always thought of that verse as a healing verse, but what if the healing comes in heaven? God did truly lift my dad up...all the way to heaven.
It took me a long time but finally I could picture him in heaven, playing baseball...which he loved. Healthy, young, fast, smiling.
That vision gave me peace....but I still miss him. He was so fun to talk to and I think of things I'd like to talk over with him all the time.
Ruthy, honestly my vision is sort of blurry in my left eye. So if we are looking for a bright side, every person I see is in soft focus. It's like my eyes remove wrinkles without the need for photoshop.
DeleteI am surrounded by young, glowing people.
Excuse me while I go enjoy staring at myself in the mirror for a while.
DeleteSeveral years ago, I went out one morning to feed the calves dressed in my husband's Pillsbury doughboy pj bottoms and flip-flops. I admit, I was aware this was not proper feeding attire, but I was in a hurry. When I went into the small pen, the gate didn't shut good. I grabbed an armload of hay and was scurrying back before the calves came in, and my right foot stepped into a hole. My ankle gave way, and I tried to compensate by shifting to other side to only manage twisting the other ankle. I did manage to crawl and get the gate shut before the calves got in.
ReplyDeleteI crawled out of the pen, and tried to walk. If it hadn't been for my left ankle twisting, I could've hopped, but there was no way. I crawled halfway to the house and yelled for help, hoping my kids could hear but not our neighbors. As humiliated as I was, I didn't need Danny, my paramedic neighbor, coming over to assist w/me in my pj's. The kids never came to the rescue because they were watching tv.
It had taken me a good 30 minutes to make it over my rock driveway and into the house. That was the first time in my life I ever felt old. By the time I was in my recliner and my feet propped up, had called my brother-in-law to borrow crutches, I was emotional and felt very stupid and sorry for myself.
As much as I'd love to see you ACFW, I don't want you to go blind or cause the airline to make an emergency landing. Hope your eyes get back to 100%.
What a story, Connie. That would actually make a great story for Guideposts magazine. You should write it. Glad it had a happy ending!
DeleteConnie, I'm so sorry! I once fell at the bottom of the deck stairs and landed in the yard. I was calling for my family to come help, mainly because I was stunned (not injured badly, just aching and afraid I might have injured myself). But no one heard me because they were still at the table talking and laughing. It was awful, and I cried, feeling sorry for myself out there. I eventually was able to get up and go back inside (and shamed my family terribly! :)). That has really stuck with me--that feeling of helplessness.
DeleteOh no, Missy. I can so relate. There's something about yelling for help and no one can hearing you. You shamed your family. LOL.
DeleteConnie... that sounds like something I would do. Oh my stars, the WHOLE THING. You and I can be besties.
DeleteAnd I think I should meet Mary in the middle.... instead of ACFW she and I can have a retreat and write sweet books and eat at Chick Fil A.
Someplace in Ohio???? How far is Cincy from Omaha?
OH MY GOSH, CONNIE! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH! the part where you're crawling across gravel on your hands and knees...my guts are twisting.
DeleteAnd your children should be grounded from TV!!!
For how long you ask???
Until you stop wanting to kill them!!!!!
Cincy is about FOREVER away, Ruthy. But if I can't go over any mountains...that might work. There are actually some mountains in southern Oklahoma.
DeleteAnd don't pretend like you can walk away from your PUMPKINS!
Mary, I'm an empath, so you have tons of sympathy from me! Honestly, I can hardly imagine how you made it through lying face down for weeks. Wow, wow, wow, that is tough. And so sorry your eye is so slow to heal. My friend Regina (who I occasionally mention) had a cornea transplant, but it didn't work! So she had to have a second one, and I remember it took so long to heal, she thought it had not worked either. But it did! She can see so much better now, thank God. So I'm believing the same thing for you!
ReplyDeleteYou said,
I told him to chill with the drama. He had me at blind. But I could tell he liked the ‘screaming’ part of his diagnosis, and he couldn’t be stopped.
Thank you for making me laugh!!! You are so good at that. :-)
I haven't had many sudden, overwhelming, dramatic bad things happen in my life, but I have something nightmarish that I've had to deal with for the past 21 years. It's a nightmare, and it's something I can't talk about, and it doesn't get better, except maybe temporarily. Hardly anyone knows about it, and those who do don't really understand. But it's helped me hold on to God, to figure out how to get closer to Him. Still, I haven't reached the point where I can actually thank God for it. Maybe when I do get to that point, God will take it away. Who knows? But I am trusting Him, trusting that somehow God is bringing something good from it, and that God does care about me, even if I die without ever getting out of the nightmare. At least I know I have heaven in my future, the joy of my salvation. (And lots of other blessings.)
So sorry, Melanie. I hope you get through this.
DeleteI'm praying for you, Melanie.
DeleteMelanie, I think those nightmares shape us... and shape our writing. I think they become part of the framework that helps us to hone ourselves when we can't hone others.
DeleteBut having said that, when nightmares are too bad, sometimes we don't see the destructiveness the way we should.
Something to think about.
While we ARE NOT feeling sorry for The Connealy! :)
I know someone who had TWO corneal transplants. So many things to go wrong with a small eyeball!!!
DeleteAnd I'm sorry about your ongoing bad 'thing'. I understand not wanting to talk about it publicly.
But you've made a beautiful life for yourself, Melanie, and you've got a wonderful talent.
Keep the faith, baby girl!
I've had fibromyalgia for a number of years and it's a daily challenge. Many people don't have a clue as to how hard it is to deal with chronic pain. I do my best to push through and embrace life as best I can, giving it to God when I feel overwhelmed. It's important to acknowledge that everyone has something that they're struggling with. THIS YEAR, I came face to face with cancer and all of the emotions that accompany such a diagnosis. Experiencing this strengthened my faith and opened my eyes to so many things that we take for granted. I've been blessed by my family and friends and complete strangers! God has worked out all the details and I am beyond thankful to be able to say that I am currently cancer free. It is my desire to be a blessing to others I meet along my journey. Mary, it's okay to whine and cry. God collects our tears and when we have no words, He understands and hears our unspoken prayers. May God give you courage and strength as you move forward in your journey. You have blessed so many in your gift of writing and I wish you God's blessings as you move forward. Baby steps... xo Kathy
ReplyDeleteKathy, you have certainly experienced a lot. I am glad to hear you are cancer free.
DeleteKathy, what a praise that you're cancer free! I'll be praying for your chronic pain.
DeleteSandy, I'm echoing you! And Kathy, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. :( But I'm also glad you are cancer-free. And I love Mary's stories, too. And her... so that blessing of her gift is a wonderful thing.
DeleteNow I'm going to STOP before it goes to her head. We can't have her getting The Big Head.
Kathy, I know one young lady with fibro, and it's such a dreadful condition and so hard for others to understand, and it comes and goes, then recurs doesn't it? Because sometimes my friend seems better and is better, then she's struggling again.
DeleteMARY, I'm currently struggling to keep my eyes on the Lord and not on the damage Harvey left behind. I standing on His promise that He is my RESTORER. I'm also struggling to overcome the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouraging post! Please enter me in the drawing.
Prayers for you, Caryl, and for all those affected by Harvey.
DeleteCaryl, I can't even imagine what Harvey survivors are going through as damage is assessed and losses counted. Praying, praying, praying!
DeleteAs for dysfunctional families, I can relate. But they don't have to define us. God is the perfect Parent and the source of our true identity.
Caryl, I'm praying for you!
DeleteCaryl are you in Harvey's path? I didn't know that.
DeleteI can't believe the disaster down there.
And this hurricane Irma...it's not going to land, too, is it???
Please, Dear God, no! Have mercy.
Caryl did you lose things in Harvey? Do you need anything? What can I do to help?
DeleteI'll be honest. I want your book.... but I don't want to share my struggle. Maybe that's selfish or maybe its a survival skill. Suffice it to say that 4 years, six months, and 14 days ago my facial appearance changed significantly... in a very bad way. Insurance won't pay to fix it and I will never make enough money to pay for it myself. I'm young and single. My appearance change has forced me to give up the hope of ever finding love, ever getting married, ever raising a family.... As horrible as that my seem, my ultimate struggle has not just been with the loss of my dreams but the loss of my self worth/ self confidence. Disfigurement is an identity thief. When I look in the mirror, I see a stranger staring back at me. I'm tired of talking about this. I love to read. I love your books. Reading allows me to escape from my reality. Your characters are strong. They experience hardships and persevere. Their appearance does not make them who they are, but honesty, integrity, and hardwork create their identities. They inspire me!! I'll be reading your book whether I win a freebie or not.
ReplyDeleteAngela, I am so sorry to hear of your facial problems. I hope you can find a way to pay for the surgery. I will be praying for you.
DeleteAngela, one of the themes I have explored in my books (probably because of self esteem issues) has been being loved for who we are on the inside. I pray for you that everyone around you will see and appreciate your inner beauty.
DeleteI'm with you on reading to be inspired by strong characters! I find myself cheering out loud sometimes at a good one-liner or at a character claiming what she wants and needs. :)
Angela, I have a young friend (well, she's thirty-five now) who was disfigured in a head on crash... It's not that she looks bad... but she looks very different. When she looks in the mirror, she sees a stranger gazing back at her. I'm putting her struggle into a book, so when I saw your post here, I had to mention this... The positive thing is that she's living her life, she is dating, and she hopes that eventually she'll find the happy ever after she's longed for... And there's a part of her that realizes how easily she attracted guys before, she was fashion-doll pretty. And how much harder it is to get that same notice now. She knows that she should be loved for the woman she is now.... but there's like a longing for opportunities she's lost because her looks are quite different.
DeleteI'm praying for both of you. And wishing I had a magic wand.
Angela, are you writing? Are you using the experience, or the emotion of it, in your work?
DeleteWhen you sell your book for 65 million dollars you can have all the reconstruction surgery you want.
I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. So genuinely sorry. In an age when so much focus is put on personal beauty, it's a staggering loss to feel like that's been taken away from you.
DeleteMary, you've really been a trooper these last several weeks! Praying for complete healing for your eye and the return of normal vision.
ReplyDeleteSomething I've realized (even more than usual) lately is that there are private struggles going on in people's lives all around us. Unshared trials and secret hurts can start to get so heavy, and that's why we need each other--why God's Word instructs us to bear one another's burdens. Your invitation today to be transparent about our struggles is an important step in opening our hearts to receive help and healing.
My personal struggle this summer has been the departure of our daughter and family for their next overseas missionary assignment. Thanks to conversations with our pastor and a Stephen Minister, plus encouragement from my Seeker sisters, life is getting back to the old "normal" and I'm feeling more at peace every day.
Myra, I will pray that you are able to get back to feeling normal and finding that peace. I'm sure it's hard after having your family close for so long.
DeleteMyra, you're so right. I'm terrible about sharing my life with others. I barely even share with family--just hang onto things myself.
DeleteBut we should definitely bear one another's burdens.
I've been praying for you to adjust to having your kids gone. It's so tough when they leave. I had two of my kids home for the holiday, and now today the house feels so empty.
Meant to add one more resource that has proven helpful to me the last few weeks. It's a book called The Heart Healer: God's Response to Personal Prayer in a Hurting World, by Cyndy Bartelli, who just happens to be an old friend from high school who I only discovered recently has been ministering to those with "heart hurts."
DeleteThanks, Myra...I just downloaded this book! Sounds fantastic.
DeleteMyra I'm glad to hear it. I've been praying for you and hoping things are coming around. Losing a child to a DISTANCE like that is it's own kind of grief.
DeleteMary, I'm sorry you're still struggling!! You did great with the post, so I bet your book will be in good shape for your daughter. I'm thankful she'll do a read-through for you!
ReplyDeleteIts book three of a three book series, book one of which releases NEXT APRIL. So will the book ruin the series for her? They girls (I have four daughters) always pester me to read the books ahead of time, but I rarely let them. Maybe I shoudl let her have a look at books 1 and 2???
DeleteHi Mary!
ReplyDeleteWait - can you even read this? I mean...well...your eye and everything. Man, what can I do?
*papers rustling in the background*
Got it.
HI MARY! CAN YOU READ ME NOW???
Oh, sorry. Too loud.
That eye thing. I hear ya. And just because someone else is struggling more than we are doesn't mean we aren't struggling, right?
But complaining about it...well, that's a different matter.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3
That's how we fight the good fight and remain faithful to the end - we go through these trials and struggles that God puts in our lives. And He doesn't do it to destroy us, but for our good.
But as the trials come, I'm less likely to 'count it all joy' until afterwards. When I'm in the middle of it, I'm muttering and complaining with the best of them.
*insert eye roll here*
But you said to share one struggle...just one.
For me it's chronic pain. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, although various doctors have ruled out major things like RA, but it's there. It makes me lose sleep at night, and makes sitting at my computer all day nearly unbearable.
Do I get through it? Of course I do! It's just part of my life, and very minor when I see what other people struggle with. So I exercise, try to eat well, avoid things that trigger worse pain (like too much sugar), and carry on.
And I give thanks, counting it all joy.
Praying that your eye heals enough for you to travel to ACFW!
Jan, I didn't know you struggled with chronic pain! I'll be praying they can figure out what's causing it, or else you can find just the right way to control it.
DeleteJan, I'm sorry to hear about your chronic pain. I will pray for you.
DeleteJan, you are as stoic as they come.
DeleteYou brat.
I will never (well, almost never) whine in your presence again.
Mostly.
;)
After the funeral I went to today, I ate lunch with a table full of people with knee and hip surgery issues. Two of them YOUNGER than me.
DeleteSo Chronic Pain, in some was WORSE for being un-diagnosed, is debilitating. God bless you, Jan.
And yes I can read your comment...but then I'm leaning in about six inches from the computer screen!!!!!!!!!!
I am so jazzed about another Boden book! Thanks for hanging on to that knot and continuing to write (I'm assuming that's ok for your eye?) because I totally enjoy your books.
ReplyDeleteBet I could beat you in a whine-fest without even trying. I've been saving up for a long time :-)
And I gotta tell you, the thought of anything happening to my eyes is so frightening for me. I admire your bravery (yeah, yeah, don't tell me you didn't have a choice -- let's just go with you being astonishingly brave).
Nancy C
Nancy C, so many people have talked about whining and struggles and for the most part I didn't know ANYTHING about most of it.
DeleteI'm so impressed and really MOVED honestly, to realize how many people carry on, keep the faith. Work and live and endure and honestly they don't whine much. The whole world doesnt' know of their struggles.
God bless you and sure we can go with BRAVE...since we have no choice.
My mother-in-law who lived to be 92, mother of seven sons, including My Cowboy, used to say,
"I'd have had a nervous break down, but I just didn't have the time."
Mary, I'm so sorry you are still struggling with your vision. I will continue to pray that it heals everyday. It sounds like it is improving. I don't have the best vision, so I know what it is like to worry about that. My former eye doctor (now retired) loved to tell me I was his second most near-sighted patient. Even when I went for my one-year check-up after cataract surgery, the technician who looked at what my eye sight had been said "Whoa." She couldn't quite believe it. My eye sight is not 20/20 even after my surgery and I am going to get glasses to use for distance, but I am grateful not to be blind without them any more.
ReplyDeleteMy current whiny struggle is a stupid cold I have had for over a week and cough that doesn't want to go away. I haven't felt like doing much of anything. But I know it is not a big deal when looking at other's struggles.
My life's biggest struggle was the loss of our daughter at age 17 months following heart surgery. If I didn't have my faith, I could not have made it through. That was followed by a several year struggle with infertility. Even then I was blessed with the birth of my son who is now 22 years old. I thank God everyday for him.
Thank you for your post today. It is certainly OK for you to feel whiny about what you have been through and glad you are able to share with us. It has been good to see everyone's struggles. We can all lift each other up.
Please put my name in the drawing for the book.
Sandy, I'm praying you get well soon!
DeleteSandy, I'm so sorry about the cold... and didn't you just celebrate your parents' anniversary??? That's so cool!
DeleteI love that you put remembrances on facebook to honor your daughter. That's a reminder to all of us that sorrows can be old... they can be unseen... they can be distanced by time and space... but they're real. Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you, Ruthy, for your kind words about my FB remembrances. And thanks about the cold. Yes, we celebrated my parents' anniversary on Sunday. I stood across from them and waved instead of being able to give them hugs because of the stupid cold. But at least I was able to be with them.
DeleteGoing to work at the book store soon. Hopefully I won't cough all over the customers!
Sandy, losing a child like that, it's a good motivation to faith, so you can be re-united in heaven.
DeleteSuch a sad thing to endure.
My vision, as a rule, isn't that bad. I wear glasses but no drastic correction.
So not being able to see if just a plain old pain in the ... NECK!!!
Praying for continued renewal of your eyes. We know that God is able. I am blessed and not going to share any of my minor "whines" here....
ReplyDeleteJust thanking God daily for his blessings, and that they are new every morning!
Please put my name in the drawing for your book, please!
"Great is thy faithfulness"--AMEN, Connie!
DeleteConnie, 'they are new every morning.'
DeleteI love that.
God starts over with us and we need to start over constantly with ourselves. Because heaven knows we fail and fail and fail.
hi Mary
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would have the sense of humor you display if I was dealing with an eye issue like yours. As an artist, I shudder to think what my identity would be if I were to lose my sight even partially (even though I am extremely myopic).
I appreciate you talking about your struggles and fears because it makes me realize that I'm not the only one with issues. Of course, what I'm going through is of utmost importance to me and that trumps any other tragedy that may be happening to someone else...not really - but it sure feels that way.
I saw a meme on FB one time that said: God gives us trials that He knows we can handle... apparently God thinks I'm a member of SEAL Team #6
I don't really have anything to whine about if I really sit back and consider my life. I'm thanking God for that. I'm in no hurry for any character building God may have planned for me. I'm a wimp. Content for the most part, yet a wimp nonetheless.
I keep praying for you and all the Seeker ladies because of the gift this community is. I always ask you all get blessed with double/triple the measure with which I've been blessed.
p.s.
Sent Guppy off to first day of second grade today. Met a Turkish family at the bus stop. This is first school year for their daughter since fleeing Turkey (she is in third grade, mom doesn't speak English). I couldn't imagine having to start over in a new country and no language. I told the Father welcome to America - pointed at my house and told him if he ever needed anything to feel free to ask. I'm hoping this year goes well for them.
Deb, how wonderful you were so welcoming to the new family! You're a shining example for all of us!
DeleteDeb, I LOVE the Seal Team #6 saying. How perfect. LOL
DeleteAnd Guppy, 2nd grade, I can't quite believe it! I'm sure it's seemed like plenty of years to you, but it's shocking to me. I still remember that picture of a little boy reading a Mary Connealy book. Such a cutie.
Mary, your honesty amazes me. What's more is our perceptions of whining are totally different. I think you're being honest and open about eye surgery, and you see it as whining. It's funny how two people can read something and get two totally different ideas out of it (also a great lesson for us writers as so often I mean one thing in a scene and someone else totally misses it, but that's another post). Eye surgery is not a piece of cake, and telling people about it? To me, that's not whining. As for my personal struggles (yes, someone wants me to whine), I guess I go back to my daughter's battle with VHL and her own eye surgeries and tumor on an optic nerve. Relatively speaking, though, I know I'm fortunate and posts like this and the other comments help me realize that. Thank you for your candor and honesty about what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteTanya is she okay? Is the VHL recurrent? How old is your daughter now?
DeleteKids who are faced with surgeries and cancer treatments and these kinds of painful struggles are such a deep hurt in my heart.
PS so you're saying I should be whining MORE????
ah-right!!!
Thanks for asking. She's okay now. VHL is a cancer causing genetic condition that never goes away. She has to have yearly MRIs and she averages four eye surgeries a year since she's been diagnosed. She's 19 and a sophomore in college, and she's my VHL warrior. And I just don't think you're whining because you're matter of fact. I, on the other hand, have been known to whine. And whine. And finally I move on.
DeleteI think my biggest struggles have come from being a parent to a child with challenges. When my older son was three, my wife and I believed he would be graduating high school with a special diploma. Now, he's on his own at school, studying chemical engineering and participates in a college marching band. My wife and I went to opening day of the Miss. State football season and marveled at the band performance, knowing that our son was a part of it.
ReplyDeleteSo cool, Walt! Our daughters were in band. The music plus the camaraderie made it such a great experience for them. And--wow--chemical engineering! I'm impressed!
DeleteI LOVE PEOPLE WHO GO TO FOOTBALL GAMES FOR THE BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteMary, I appreciate your honest post about what you are dealing with. I don't call that whining. I call that an opportunity for me to know how to pray for you today. So I shall!
ReplyDeleteStruggles: our dog, Foxy, died last Tuesday, a week ago. Unexpectedly. She was 9. We'd had her for 7 years, and got her from my sister when she could no longer care for her. My daughter took her to the vet office where she works that morning. Found out she had kidney failure and very low blood levels. The vet thinks she may have had cancer. She had been moping around for a couple of days, but no whining, no complaining, no acting like she was in pain. We made arrangements to put her to sleep that afternoon. She died later that morning on her own. I'm still in shock that she is gone.
And if you need another set of eyes to do a read through for you, I'd be honored to help.
Oh, Sally! So very sorry about Foxy. I know so well the pain of saying goodbye to a beloved pet.
DeleteIt definitely does not get any easier.
DeleteI'm so sorry, Sally.
DeleteThank you, Sandy!
DeleteSally thank you so much for offering to read the book. I appreciate it so much and I will remember.
DeleteSo sorry about losing your pet.
They become members of the family.
I wouldn't call it whining Mary. You've been a great sport in a tough situation. Hang in there! Suffering is relevant to the person. What shakes my tree might not shake yours and such. But you've been preserving my friend and I'm very proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI had a year where seriously if one more person said, "look at Job" as a part of their encouragement I was gonna scream. I can almost laugh about that time. Almost.
Picture it, February 2007. My house floods thanks to a 77 lbs basset hound who managed to turn on the bathroom sink (I wish I was making this up). The result? 3 months of being homeless with 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat and an 80% home restoration, in the same week that the flooding happened I had to endure divorce proceedings and ended up in ICU with a severe allergic reaction.
Worst. Year. EVER.
Wow, Sharee...so did the flood and the basset hound cause the divorce?
Deleteyeesh. Yeah, Job. Great, just stop trying to make me FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS if we end up driving to Dallas, you can ride with us.
Sharee, you did truly have an awful year. So glad you were able to make it through.
ReplyDeleteAMEN Sandy.
DeleteI am currently struggling with an EYE issue. I had surgery on June 2nd to fix a blocked tear duct. For 5 weeks I had to wear my very heavy glasses (I'm extremely near sighted) and then it still watered to some degree. On a daily basis I am still dealing with a watery eye and now it is dry and when I blow my nose something (probably tears)shoots out of the corner of my eye. It is SO frustrating!!!
ReplyDeleteYikes, Naomi! A blocked tear duct shouldn't be THAT serious. I'm so sorry.
DeleteShooting water out of your eyes, disturbing and yet, in some ways, it's almost a superpower.
I mean...spiderman shot those webs right?
So glad your eye is getting better, Mary. I had an eye infection and couldn't wear my contacts for five days. The prescription on my glasses was five years old--since I usually only wear them for a short time at night and hadn't gotten a new pair in all that time---so I struggled. Couldn't see well and didn't like walking around in a fog.
ReplyDeleteAs you said, this too shall pass...and it did!
Hugs!
Debby, I'm glad it's over for you and you can wear the contacts again.
DeleteLet this be a lesson to you! Go get new eyeglasses!
Our house has flooded not once, not twice, but three times (actually technically four, since it flooded again while our basement was already torn up from the third flood). So yeah, that was fun- NOT. I got to spend three different summers carrying all our books up from the basement and all sorts of other heavy lifting. Not to mention that my mother still can't sleep when it rains outside.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was twelve, my grandfather died of cancer, and my cat died too. At the time my grandfather died my uncle also had cancer (he's been clear for almost five years, thank heavens). That was a very tough time for me.
And this summer has been rough physically. I had oral surgery in the beginning of June and then was sick not once, but twice- TWICE! And this is coming from a girl who might get sick twice in a year (once in spring and once in fall). And now on top of all that, my mom and brother are sick too... no, I did not get them sick, well at least I don't think I did. Their symptoms are totally different from what I had.
So, no, you are not alone in the suffering.
Nicki flooding is such a mess. Yikes. did the new basement, after you tore it up, fix things? I might've been tempted to just fill it in and stop having a basement! :)
DeleteI was sixteen when my mom's mom died. I remember us sitting in the living room watching the Carol Burnett show, the whole family together, home which didn't happen often.
DeleteAnd something happened, as usual, that made us laugh, but we all just sort of lost it. Laughing way beyond any sense. Me and my seven brothers and sisters and my dad and mom. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion...Steel Magnolia's quote
Mary, I am sorry you are having to go through this with your eyes. We really take all our body parts fro granted when they are working as they are supposed to don't we? My prayers that you will continue to heal and things looking up for you. Would love to read Too Far Down, please enter me in the drawing for it.
ReplyDeleteHi Deanne, we do take so much for granted. I keep thinking of that saying, "If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."
DeleteI don't see how that applies to my eye. But probably plenty else, like my roundish belly!!!
Oh Mary, as a chronic migraine sufferer I can validate your suffering with eye pain because it seems like when our eyes hurt we just can't function at all. But I really hope it's settled down so you can get to ACFW and not wish you'd jumped out of the plane! It's one of our smallest body parts but has a mighty big impact on how we can operate.
ReplyDeleteThis year I've struggled getting over with a car accident and physio, the shingles, and then falling and breaking my left elbow and wrist, and am now still doing more physio for that...it feels like everything above my waist has hurt for nearly a year now. Oh, and did I mention the chronic migraines? :) But I'm trying a new medication for them and touch wood, it's going to help me cut way down on those so that's something. It's been a real slog to keep going with my writing through all of this physical pain. So, I appreciate you doing this blog post and you're not a whiner! Sometimes we just need to sound off and be human. :) "And he who endures to the end will be saved."
I'm gasping and grimacing as I read your list of struggles, Laurie. OH MY GOSH!!!!!!
DeleteI have migraines but they are NOTHING like they used to be. So awful when I was younger. Now I can handle them. The headache is fixed by Exedrin Migraine. My eyes blur up though, that's the warning sign of an approaching migraine. And that used to just produce a PANIC reflex because I knew what was coming.
And I got the shingles vaccine last year. I've got a sister-in-law who had a terrible bout of shingles and it was awful. I learned my lesson!