Waking Up and Getting Traction: A Benefit of In-Person Writer Support

Missy Tippens

I recently had a wake up. I’m talking about the kind of wake up where you didn’t even realize you were asleep.

You see, I hadn’t attended a writing conference in about two years. And I had barely attended chapter meetings for my local ACFW and RWA chapters. I’ve been a primary caregiver for some family members during that time and hadn’t felt I could risk signing up for something and then have to cancel. I also haven’t had time free to attend the chapter meetings.

But earlier this year, I took the risk and signed up to attend the Moonlight & Magnolias Conference, a fantastic conference that Georgia Romance Writers puts on each year (I had gone to M&M without fail in the past). I had friends praying that all would go well so I could attend. And, thanks to God, it did!

Lunch with Cara Lynn James and Fran McNabb

While at M&M, I attended many workshops and took lots of notes. I had time to chat with friends new and old. I spent time in the hotel room, writing. I took a nap! I enjoyed dinner with old friends and talked business. And I celebrated Maggie Award victories with fellow writers after the banquet (and okay, this may have also involved some dancing). :)

Dinner with (L to R) Debby Giusti, Connie Gillam, Pam Varnado, Fran McNabb, Cara Lynn James, and Lindi Peterson

One writer I spoke with that weekend was struggling with whether her writing and publishing schedule was interfering with the care of her family. She seemed burdened by guilt. I shared with her how my youngest used to stand at the door beside the babysitter, refusing to wave, sobbing as I left to go to my monthly critique group. I shared how my precious daughter wrote me a pitiful little note in phonetic spelling saying she didn’t like it when I went to “kirtek grup” (translated: critique group) because she was sad when I was gone. :)

Those were tough times when rejections were rolling in and contest scores were crushing my spirit. And I felt like I was taking money and time away from my family. I almost quit several times out of guilt, but God brought encouragements big and small along the way at just the moment I would give up. (One of those big moments: I had decided that it must be time to give up writing, had been crying my eyes out, and a few minutes later I got the call that I was a Maggie finalist).

I shared with my hurting writer friend that when my kids were young, I promised them that if they would let me write for a while each day, I would buy them a new swing set when I sold my first book. I resorted to bribery! (As an aside: please note that by the time I sold that first book my youngest was 11, and her feet would have dragged the ground on a swing set! Instead, they got dinner at The Melting Pot to celebrate. :))

Once I shared all that with my friend, she said she was surprised. She thought I had it all together and that all had been well in my home at the time. I learned some things through that conversation:

1.   You never know what might be going on in someone else’s life! I learned I need to be more open about my struggles. We all need to be honest and real. I think it helped my friend to know that others have and are struggling with some of the same issues. Spending time in-person allowed the opportunity to connect in that way.

2.   Again, you never know what may be going on in someone else’s life. Chances are, the people we run into (writers and otherwise) could be facing trials. Assume the best about others and SHOW GRACE.

Other things I learned at this conference…

3.   I really needed that time away from caregiving. I needed my husband to cover for me for a couple of days so I could focus on the conference and on the writing. You may need time away from caregiving, or child-rearing, or your day job or.... We can all use time away to focus on our writing careers.

4.   Meeting with other writers in person is more important than I thought. I hadn't realized what I had been missing until I got back to a conference. I know we have a wonderful online support here at Seekerville, and I treasure that. But I was reminded how motivating it can be to hang out in a room with a bunch of people who think like I do (translated: a little wacky).

After I got home from the conference, that excitement continued. A few days later, on the way to dinner with my husband, I realized I felt as if I’d come out of a long, hazy sleep. I felt more alert, like my mind was zipping again. I was finally making a little progress on my manuscript, felt like I had traction after so long spinning my wheels.

I know a conference isn’t possible for everyone due to location or finances or family/day job situations. But I encourage you try to find at least one writer to meet with in person. (Come on introverts, you can do this!) Or go to a workshop at your local library. Or see if your church will start a writing group. Anything to put you in touch with other writers. And start saving up to attend a conference sometime in the future. I think it’s worth the investment, not only for networking, but also for reigniting the desire to write.

Giveaway! For a trip down memory lane, I’ll be giving away a copy of my very first published book, Her Unlikely Family, a story (previously titled Michael’s Surrender on the contest circuit) that I wrote while attending my “kirtek grup.” :) (Please note, this will probably have to be an e-book copy or else a used print copy since I don’t have extras any longer.)

Please let me know in the comments if you’d like to be entered. We’d love to hear from you today! What do you think about attending conferences? If you’re not a writer, what inspires you and keeps you motivated for your job or daily life?

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After more than 10 years of pursuing her dream of publication, Missy Tippens, a pastor’s wife and mom of three from near Atlanta, Georgia, made her first sale to Harlequin Love Inspired in 2007. Her books have since been nominated for the Booksellers Best, Holt Medallion, ACFW Carol Award, Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence, Maggie Award, Beacon Contest, RT Reviewer’s Choice Award, and the Romance Writers of America RITA^® Award. Visit Missy at www.missytippens.com, https://twitter.com/MissyTippens and http://www.facebook.com/missy.tippens.readers.