Welcome our Guest Becky Wade

The Art of Incorporating Detail

by Becky Wade

    I read two types of novels:  

         I read novels about characters. 
    

         I read novels that are so powerfully authentic that I become the characters.  Magic happens for me within the pages of the second type of book.  I feel the emotion, I see the setting, I hear the dialogue, I smell the air.  Whenever a story comes alive like this for me, I first wonder how the author managed it.  Then I begin to wonder how I can write one.     

            The answer is mysterious and something I expect to spend my whole career chasing.  But I think one facet of the answer is this:

            Before a reader can BE in it, she has to SEE it. 

            And in order to see it, our readers need detail.

            I've read several books lately that were, in my opinion, too vague.  I couldn't visualize the hero's face exactly.  I didn't know what the room  the character were standing in looked like.  I had no idea what the heroine was wearing.  Many of us authors are impatient with detail.  We'd rather keep our stories lean and focus on plot and dialogue.  But it's a mistake to veer too far to that extreme because without description our books won't feel real to our readers. 

            Have you heard the expression, "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader."?  For my purposes today, I'm changing it to, "No details in the writer's imagination, no details in the reader's imagination."

            Here are some practical ways to add detail to your novel:

Before you begin writing a character, ask them a long series of questions.  Maybe you already have a character 'interview' you use.  If not, and if you'd like to try the technique, you can visit my web site here and check out the questions I ask each of my characters before I begin writing them.

Spend time at the outset of every scene sinking into the setting.  What does it look like precisely?  What does it smell like?  Sound like?  What's the temperature?  Time of day?  Season?  Does your hero have a five o' clock shadow?  Does your heroine have bags under her eyes?  How are they both dressed?

Now view the same setting through your POV character's eyes.  If you're about to write a scene from a male's POV, remember that he'll notice fewer details than a woman and he'll think about what he's seeing in blunt, common sense terms.  This is not the time to wax eloquent.  A man is not going to think, for example, "The moonlight slid lovingly over the stately old elm tree before bumping and unfurling like a ribbon into the meadow."  A much more realistic way for him to note the same detail, "Through the dark he could make out a tree and behind it some open grass."

Once you have the external landscape firm in your mind, investigate the internal landscape of not just your current POV character but the other characters in the scene.  Make sure you understand exactly what they're feeling, down to the smallest degree.  Only then can you honestly transfer their reactions onto the page.  If you'd feel envious in the situation you're about to write, then don't blot envy from your character's reaction.  Your character's envy is a detail that makes your story more authentic. 

Beware of inserting chunks of description into your scene in unnatural ways. 

1.  Think for a moment.  When do you notice detail about a room or about a person?  Likely, it's when you first walk into the room or first meet the person.  Then, as you stay in the space or study the other person, your brain may catalogue additional small bits and pieces of information. 

2.  Alternatively, you are likely to notice details during a time when you're idle.  For example, when you're waiting in line, when you're left alone in a room, during a pause in conversation, or when the person you're with turns away to greet someone else.  All these realistic breaks give your POV character natural opportunities to take in more elements of setting.

3.  Use detail sparingly during dialogue.  Consider the following (terrible) example:

            Her small hands fisted.  She stamped a foot covered in a brown high-laced leather boot.  "I'm furious!  How could you do this to me?"

            His gaze took in her hair, falling in loose curls down to the middle of her back.  Streaks of pale honey marked the blond locks. A small silver comb studded with diamonds held back a strand over her right eye.  "I did it because you deserved it."

            She frowned, furrows creasing her forehead.  Angrily, she walked to the window and back.  Her hand raised to her lips.  She chewed on the fingernail of her pinky finger.  "I did nothing to deserve this."

Do you see the problem, authors?  Too much description between spoken words suffocates the scene and refuses to let it live.  If these two characters are in the middle of a fight, your hero is going to have his hands full just processing (mentally and emotionally) what your heroine is saying to him.  If he notices anything about her appearance, it'll be in flashes.  Far better in this situation to keep the dialogue as the hero of the scene and the details spare.

            You'll know you're beginning to master The Art of Incorporating Detail when you the author know far more about your character and your setting than you show your reader.  Your story world needs details in order to come alive!  Have an arsenal of them ready but don't use them all.  Lace them in as naturally as you can, from your character's unique POV, choosing only the most powerful.

Leave a comment to get your name in the drawing for a copy of Undeniably Yours.

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Becky Wade makes her home in Dallas, Texas with her husband, three children, and one adoring (and adored) cavalier spaniel. Her CBA debut, My Stubborn Heart, has been named a finalist for Romance Writers of America's RITA Award.  Her new contemporary romance, Undeniably Yours, is available now!

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