The Enticement of First Lines

Readers do it all the time. They judge our books by the cover. If the verdict falls in our favor, they open the inside flap or flip to the back to meet our characters and their conflicts. Then, if we’re lucky, they turn to the first page, expectant, hopeful, daring our first line to be irresistible.

Our first line—the one sentence that can entice a reader to enter our story or to reach for a new cover to judge.

We know how vital our first line is. We've been told a bazillion times it must “grab the reader” and “draw the reader in.” But sometimes I’m not confident about my first line. I may think it’s compelling, but will readers? 

Evaluating my first line’s grab-factor, determining its draw-ability, feels abstract. The English teacher in me needs concrete—a set of criteria to weigh the writing against. So I did my homework, and thanks to my book blogger friends and their “First Line Friday” posts, I had an abundance of first lines to scrutinize. 

But first I changed identities. I didn’t want to analyze words like a writer. I needed to experience them like a reader and feel those magnetic moments pull me in. So I scrolled through first lines, and when a particular line made me linger, I tried to figure out why.

Here’s what reader me discovered for writer me. A first line that convinces readers to read on satisfies two criteria.

1. IT EVOKES QUESTIONS

Does my first line make the reader ask questions, lots of questions? What are those questions? Will they lure the reader into my story to pursue answers?

2. IT PROVOKES EMOTION

Does my first line make the reader feel emotion? Do I give the reader an instant connection that incites one or more feelings? What are the emotions she will feel?

Let’s test the criteria. This first line is from a YA Christian fantasy, Siren’s Fury by Mary Weber.

“There is a moment, just before every storm, when the entire world pauses.”

What questions does this line evoke? I wonder if the storm is literal or figurative. What is going to happen after the pause? What—or who—is going to be damaged by this storm? How big is this storm if the entire world is going to pause?

What emotion does this line provoke? I feel anxiety. I’m already worried about the narrator and characters, and I don’t even know who they are yet. 

Let’s try another one. The back cover of romance author Tammy L. Gray’s My Hope Next Door tells us the protagonist returns home after several years and must confront the bad reputation she left behind. Here’s the first line:

“The Fairfield water tower loomed over Katie’s regrets like a guard she had to sneak past.”

Questions, anyone? Katie’s regrets, what are they? How many does she have? What could be so bad to keep her away for so long? What’s important enough to make her return to face her past? What conflicts are waiting for her? (And how impressive is that simile?)

Emotion? Definitely shame. I feel the weight of it in my chest as I envision Katie passing through the shadow of the water tower, probably feeling small and alone. 

Here’s our final first line, from Roseanna M. White’s historical romance, The Reluctant Duchess.

“She could have been more than she was.”

Says who? Does she believe this about herself, or does someone believe this about her? What is she now and why does that fall short? What could she have been? What prevented her from becoming that?

I feel empathy. What wife, mother, woman hasn’t felt this first line at some point in her life? I want to be her cheerleader (whoever she is) and tell her, “You don’t need to be more. You are enough.” 

When our first lines evoke questions, we entice the reader to seek answers that can only be found by reading further. When we provoke emotion, we require the reader to invest in the story. 

Obviously, readers don’t pause after the first line to list all their questions or to identify their emotions. They don’t need to understand why they must read on. That’s our job. 

One first line. Two criteria. Let’s grab some readers and draw them in. 

Do you have a favorite first line? What qualities in a first line entice you? Share some memorable first lines from your Keeper Shelf in the comments.

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Waiting for Butterflies is an achingly tender portrait of a

 mother whose love reaches beyond the possible.

When tragedy strikes, Maggie discovers a mother's love never ends--not even when her life does. Longing for her family after her sudden death, she becomes a lingering spirit and returns home where she helplessly witnesses her family's downward spiral in the aftermath of her passing. Her husband is haunted by past mistakes and struggles to redeem himself. Her teenage daughter silently drowns in her own guilt, secretly believing she caused her mother's death. Only her five-year-old, full of innocence, can sense her presence. Although limited by her family's grief and lack of faith, Maggie is determined to keep a sacred promise and save her family before her second chance runs out.

Karen Sargent creates characters whose imperfect faith collides with real-life conflicts, taking readers on a journey through grace and redemption to discover enduring hope. A romantic element is woven within each story. In addition to writing novels, she blogs at The MOM Journey, where moms aren’t perfect and that’s perfectly okay. When she’s not writing, she teaches high school and college English and resides in the beautiful Arcadia Valley with her husband and two daughters. Waiting for Butterflies is her debut novel. Visit her at KarenSargentBooks.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

Blog Link: www.KarenSargentBooks.com/blog/

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