Best of the Archives: Top Ten Reasons My First Manuscript Didn't Get Published

Ruthy here, with a best of the archives post I love... because if anyone in the history of writing turned the phrase "EPIC FAIL" into "AMAZING SUCCESS", it would be me... because I made every possible mistake in the book... and I'm doing all right! So here to tell you the truth, the humble truth, the absolute truth about how dumb certain authors can be... is me! 

I don't get a chance to see humorous top ten lists often.

Most comedians are up late.

I'm not.

Some of them are inappropriate for Seekerville.

'Sup with that???

But here, for you today, in light of our celebration of FIRSTS is a Ruthy-generated top ten list of what not to do as an author.

(the list could be MUCH LONGER, but we'll suffice with ten. Hush, Connealy.)

10: It's not considered good form to unintentionally insult your targeted line on an on-line loop. Oddly enough, loops are not your living room. Who knew???

9.   Unless your name is Diana Gabaldon, it's probably not in your best interests to try to market a 160K book to a 70K publishing house.

8.  Four sub-plots might be one or two too many. I'm just sayin'...

Subplot (also called counterplot) - a secondary or minor plot within a play or other literary work which may contrast with the principal plot, highlight it, or be unrelated. It involves characters of lesser importance than those involved in the major plot.

7.  Edgy Christian fiction does not include bedroom scenes.

6.  Following that, having church services and prayers in a book with bedroom scenes doesn't make it a Christian book. You'd have thought I knew that, right????

5.  One sub-plot pitted a Republican hero vs. a Democratic heroine.

I thought it was brilliant, of course. Embracing all. What it would successfully do is guarantee that 50% of any possible audience will HATE YOUR BOOK.  Editors really want and deserve better odds than that, right?

4.   Whiny, traumatized heroine.  (Yes, I know, I get it. The kind of book you throw across the room because she's "TSTL" (too stupid to love) 

3.   Too many characters to possibly keep track of and every one of them had a point of view, most of them self-deprecating. Really, this family needed more heavy duty psycho-therapy than any fictional family should ever qualify for.  

This is a "Herne" family in the U.K.  I figured they wouldn't mind being an example of many POV's, LOL!
In my experience, Herne's like to hear themselves talk. I am no exception, so it makes things interesting.

2.   Way more arched brows, angled looks, furrowed brows, sweet, tender lips, rugged stances, brawny arms, clenched jaws. We might have actually chewed off a lip or two... Oh my stars, if it was cliche, I used it. BECAUSE IT SOUNDED SO GOOD, LOL!

1.   And the number one reason my first novel will never see the light of day because smart editors everywhere cringed and cried:

A fifteen page opening chapter of telling, telling, telling, all in the hero's problem-solving head. NOT ONE WORD OF DIALOGUE.

:)

Take heart, my friends... because you too can make EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE MISTAKES and still manage a career in publishing...as long as you learn from your mistakes... and never, ever quit! 

And here's a glimpse of my upcoming Love Inspired Christmas book, my 20th story for Love Inspired!!!

ON SALE OCTOBER 17th!!!! Just over a month away!!!! I'm so excited!

Inspirational author and speaker Ruthy Logan Herne loves God, her family, her country, chocolate, coffee, caramel and if the three are COMBINED... all the better! She lives on a small farm in upstate New York with a long-suffering husband, a bunch of family in and out, two dogs, a couple of farm cats, a clutch of hens for fresh eggs and two adorable mini-donkeys!!!

Come friend her on facebook, visit her website ruthloganherne.com or find her over at the Yankee Belle Cafe... where she enjoys chatting and cooking with the lot o' youse!